The People's Cube - Political Satire

A reader sent us a bunch of separate newspaper clippings, asking to put them together in one graphic. Were were happy to oblige.

[img]/images/Newspaper_Clippings_Headlines.jpg[/img]

Thanks, Red. By Lenin's hairy jock strap, I needed that.

Comrade Red Square,
If they become an annoyance just send me a telegraph. Not collect, of course.

I will shut the Bastards down or totally eliminate the 1st Amendment.

No problem as it will be easier the second time around.

https://www.firstamendmentcenter.org/ci ... eech-press

Comrade Abrakham Linkol'n wrote:Comrade Red Square,
If they become an annoyance just send me a telegraph. Not collect, of course.

I will shut the Bastards down or totally eliminate the 1st Amendment.

No problem as it will be easier the second time around.

https://www.firstamendmentcenter.org/ci ... eech-press

FDR was just as successful.

That must've hurt.

I guess you could also say, "Long Live the MSM!"

Red Square wrote:That must've hurt.

Newspaper_Typo_Clipping_Buck_Shit.jpg

A buck shit is a buck earned!

I'm in tears and pain.

Truth is funnier than fiction! :-)

Sneaky bastards!

Red Square wrote:Sneaky bastards!

Cowardly, I'd say. What's the point of floatin around underwater where nobody can see you? It's dishonest, like concealed carry! I say blow your ballast and bob around on the waves like real men!

If I may quote the great Nickelodeon show "You Can't Do That On Television" from 1983:
Paperboy: Did you see my picture in the paper yesterday, sir? I'm carrier of the week.
Mr. Prevert: I never read the newspaper, son.
Paperboy: That's what everyone says on my route. No one ever reads their papers anymore.
Mr. Prevert: That's right, everyone gets their news from the teletext on TV.
Paperboy: Then why do you all still get a newspaper?
Mr. Prevert: Cause we haven't found any way to wrap up kitty litter in a television set.

Captain Craptek wrote:

Red Square wrote:Sneaky bastards!

Cowardly, I'd say. What's the point of floatin around underwater where nobody can see you? It's dishonest, like concealed carry! I say blow your ballast and bob around on the waves like real men!

Yes Craptek! It's like going out with a girl and hiding your two inch submarine from her until you return to port! It just isn't right, and it probably violates state law. And, while I'm at it, I say we remove all iron from all navies of the world. I mean, it's bloody horrible! It's heavy to lift, you have to weld it, and it rusts awfully. It doesn't float by itself, either, you ever toss a log and a piece of sheetiron in a lake together? The log floats and the iron sinks! It just isn't safe I tell you, and it's as sensible as a candle in a hurricane. I say that if you're man enough to stay on the sea for months at a time you're man enough to live in a wooden ship and work the rigging. Plus, those sea shanties they use while hauling the rigging and turning the capstans build morale and team spirit, and as far as I can see the People's Revolutionary Navy needs more of that. Right now all we have are a bunch of blase' idiots with flea market canoes who can barely paddle, much less wage war against the Unwashed who reside upon the ocean wave. It's absolutely terrible, the state of our PRN! I propose we print more Revolution-Roubles and finance the construction and furnishing of 150 new tall ships.

This isn't a newspaper clipping, but it's another example of sloppy writing which I'm reposting from another thread. I took this snapshot with my phone right before the waiter yanked the menu from me.

We have a Cuban restaurant in my area, where food is somewhat influenced by the Russian cuisine, which was popularized by the Castro regime in Cuba and was later transferred in this mixed form to Florida when the owner's parents fled to the US.
But this is not the only culturally curious thing about it. Look at the menu. I didn't know marrying one's own mother was a very old, Latin style favorite.

And speaking of sloppy writing, I have to post this memo:

Some commas might be helpful.........

Stop me if you think you've heard this one before...

An important update from October 28, 2017:

In the title, "Students get first hand job experience" the editors left out a hyphen after "hand."

And another one filed by an ambidextrous amphibian.

Perhaps being amphibious is necessary where spitballs abound?

Being an infiltrator from the Motherland, I had to look up the definition:

SPITBALL: an illegal baseball pitch in which the ball has been altered by the application of saliva, petroleum jelly, or some other foreign substance.

I'm pretty sure that "foreign" here means "Russian." That is, any team today can blame their loss on Russian hacking.

Donna Brazile to publish book on 2016 titled 'Hacks'

I know, and I know you know, I stole this from Rush, the despicable, but I was thinking the very same thing he was when he said it. Am I brainwashed? Gosh, I hope so, things are getting pretty dirty in there. I find it hard to breathe!

Fan mail with your generous donations may be sent to Comrade Brazile in care of the Office of the Vince Foster School of Clintonista Justice, with facilities in Chappaqua New York, and Whitewater Arkansas.

We now return to our regular programming.

With all due respect, Comrade Red, there is one more reason. Maybe it qualifies as #26, perhaps the "only real" reason to keep newspapers running. It's as simple as "1,2,3". and that is to save 'em up to wash windows. I dunno, something about the ink used to print crap works just as well to take the grease off of windows. I think there's a metaphor here. Just sayin.' ; • )

And now comes the deluge of crying molested Hillary political rape victims. To cut to the chase how about a documovie:

Hillary Does The Democratic Party

I think Hillary has attained the status of Most Expendable Apparatchik.

[img]images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]

New Sick Policy Requires 2-Day Notice

I worked at a company that in 2003 converted all of our vacation and sick days into hours of Paid Time Off (PTO), and then required 24 hours notice for the use of said PTO; anyone who failed to give notice would be credited with an 'Incident', and 3 incidents within a 6-month period would result in disciplinary action. They also 'adjusted' their benefits package to 'make it more competitive', which in practice meant that anyone who'd been working there for 5 years or less got an increase in their PTO, but anyone with 5-10 years' tenure got screwed: After 7 1/2 years I was rewarded with 5 day's worth less PTO, and I only had to stay there another 3 years to earn back 2 of them.


[img]images/clipart/Prog_On.gif[/img]

It took me an entire year to get my boss (who couldn't be bothered to do anything for the 7 people in our department who were similarly screwed) to fire me.

I was obviously thrilled to make such a vital sacrifice for the younger members of the kollektive who needed to enjoy the fruits of my labor far more than I did.

Imperatorskiy Pingvin wrote: I was obviously thrilled to make such a vital sacrifice for the younger members of the kollektive who needed to enjoy the fruits of my labor far more than I did.

That is such a beautifully equal sentiment, comrade. In the Air Force, we also had a saying, "The beatings will continue until morale improves." And in my beloved Command of choice, "To err is human; to forgive is not SAC policy."