12/19/2015, 8:08 pm
[img]/images/Sanders_Hillary_Thieves_Computers.jpg[/img]
WASHINGTON, DC - As Bernie Sanders fights for relevance in the media party, Team Hillary confiscated all of his campaign supporter information, explaining it by the fact that Bernie was the first to cheat in order to get ahead in the DNC elections.
Experts believe that neither Sanders nor Clinton violated any of the ethical rules as thievery is the norm according to Democratic Party standards and the winner is usually the one with the most chutzpah, pull, money, and superdelegates. As a bonus, the winner gets to label the loser a thief and a criminal if he or she finds doing so politically expedient, as it was in this case.
Democratic front-runner Hillary Clinton stated during her presser, "Criminals should not run for office and therefore Bernie is officially disqualified. No vice president job for you, Mr. Sanders."
While Clinton was answering carefully screened questions from the media, one reporter got out of line and asked her about her emails, to which she responded, "What difference does it make? It's Bernie Sanders who's the thief here, not me."
The reporter was then promptly nudged into the adjacent room for a training session in mandatory self-criticism, subordination, and accepting the inevitable. When he was seen later that afternoon, the reporter, slightly disheveled and disoriented, filed a report titled, "You will vote for Queen Hillary and you will like it."
WASHINGTON, DC - As Bernie Sanders fights for relevance in the media party, Team Hillary confiscated all of his campaign supporter information, explaining it by the fact that Bernie was the first to cheat in order to get ahead in the DNC elections.
Experts believe that neither Sanders nor Clinton violated any of the ethical rules as thievery is the norm according to Democratic Party standards and the winner is usually the one with the most chutzpah, pull, money, and superdelegates. As a bonus, the winner gets to label the loser a thief and a criminal if he or she finds doing so politically expedient, as it was in this case.
Democratic front-runner Hillary Clinton stated during her presser, "Criminals should not run for office and therefore Bernie is officially disqualified. No vice president job for you, Mr. Sanders."
While Clinton was answering carefully screened questions from the media, one reporter got out of line and asked her about her emails, to which she responded, "What difference does it make? It's Bernie Sanders who's the thief here, not me."
The reporter was then promptly nudged into the adjacent room for a training session in mandatory self-criticism, subordination, and accepting the inevitable. When he was seen later that afternoon, the reporter, slightly disheveled and disoriented, filed a report titled, "You will vote for Queen Hillary and you will like it."