The People's Cube - Political Satire

#BernieSandersisSoOld Marx had him proofread his Manifesto.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He wrote his last will and testament on parchment.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He sometimes slips up and calls them Bourgeois instead of Billionaires.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He used to call Stalin a young whippersnapper.

#BernieSandersisSoOld It's been decades since he's been able to “#Feel the Bern” for those young Female Comrades. (if you know what I mean)

#BernieSandersisSoOld That he can remember a time when progressives had to lie about being socialists.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He thinks that ‘Progress' means as going back to ideas of the 1800's.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He can remember why the Soviet secret police were called Chekists.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He used to say he was ‘Pro' proletariat.

#BernieSandersisSoOld he's forgotten more about Marxism than most youngsters will even know.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He was the first to yell ‘Get off my lawn'!

#BernieSandersisSoOld He remembers when Molotov meant an agreement between Russian and German Socialists and not a cocktail.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He thinks there is a difference between Socialist and Communists.

#BernieSandersisSoOld he wants to end subsidies for the buggy whip industry.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He can remember when ‘Global Warming' meant the end of the Ice age.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He has a personally autographed copy of the Principles of Communism.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He's from a time before revision A1 of the M1911.
(That's for you John Browning fans)

#BernieSandersisSoOld He knows that Hitler was the head of a Socialist Worker's party.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He can remember when Liberal meant you were in favour of #liberty.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He was there for the Soviet's very first 5 year plan.

#BernieSandersisSoOld #FeeltheBern means breaking out the preparation ‘H'.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He wants to party like it's 1849!

#BernieSandersisSoOld He's forgotten more about Marxism than most youngsters will even know.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He confuses e-mail with sending a telegram.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He appeared with James Buchanan on Star Search.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He can look at a Sacagawea dollar and say "I had some great hanky-panky with her."

#BernieSandersisSoOld He classes elocution lessons as "Male Enchancement".

#BernieSandersisSoOld He bought a first edition of Beowulf.

#BernieSandersisSoOld that if he were a tree, it would take you 75 years to count the rings.

[img]/images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]
I remember how the progs played this game with John McCain - it even appeared in an NPR segment, as they were making "John McCain is so old..." jokes. We can change them to Bernie and Hillary equally, it would be fair game.

Here is a website titled John McCain Is So Old …

https://johnmccainissoold.wordpress.com/all-the-jokes/

Someone on the Interwebs went into all the trouble to make this pic and post it with this comment: Bernie Sanders as Ghirlandaio's "Old Man with his Grandson" with a scene from the Syrian civil war in the window #mashup #berniesanders #syria

We can deduce he was old already then.

Congratulations, Comrade Torcer - your post made it to the bourgeois reactionary press:

TRUTH REVOLT: Bernie Sanders Is So Old...

And now also on Instapundit...

#BernieSandersIsSoOld that his first anti-corporate stand was against Big Dirt.

Trust no one over 130.

Fourier's Anti-Manatee wrote:Trust no one over 130.

This should be an image.

#BernieSandersIsSoOld he lost his first bid for a Senate seat to Caligula's horse.

#BernieSandersIsSoOld he received a heart transplant from a much younger donor named Dick Cheney.

Red Square wrote:Congratulations, Comrade Torcer - your post made it to the bourgeois reactionary press:

TRUTH REVOLT: Bernie Sanders Is So Old...

Thank you very kindly Comrade Red square.

My intent was to interject a bit of humor into the political discourse whilst at the same time educating the youngsters on juts how old the 'new' and 'progressive' their base ideology of Marxism truly is.

Said ideology was created in the 1800's - from a time before the [1st] American civil war...

Um, Komrades, I think we've hit something with this one. The Unwashed are scooping up this idea and are begiing to broadcast it to the whole world!

#BernieSandersIsSoOld he once told Ben Franklin that "people are sick and tired of hearing about your damned Silence Dogood letters."

Someone posted this on Facebook:

#BernieSandersIsSoOld when he was a boy, Mad Magazine was only slightly peeved.

#BernieSandersIsSoOld he's not just over the hill, he's over the whole mountain range.

#BernieSandersIsSoOld when he wants to be around people his own age he goes to the cemetery.

#BernieSandersIsSoOld the first time he saw the “real Virginia” was with the Roanoke Colony.

#BernieSandersIsSoOld when Jesus said to “love thy neighbor” he told him “I already did.“

#BernieSandersIsSoOld he used to smear his opponents by robotelegraph.

#BernieSandersIsSoOld he invented plumbing.

#BernieSandersIsSoOld The Oregon Trail brought back too many bad memories.

#BernieSandersIsSoOld he once had a summer job building the pyramids.

#BernieSandersIsSoOld undertakers think he's an escapee.

#BernieSandersIsSoOld when John Lewis told him he was “playing with fire,” Bernie said “When I was a boy we didn't even have fire.”

#BernieSandersIsSoOld his first running mate was Betty Rubble.

#BernieSandersIsSoOld he used to “pal around” with Guy Fawkes.

#BernieSandersIsSoOld he sometimes forgets his opponent's name.

#BernieSandersIsSoOld he was raised a Zoroastrian.

#BernieSandersIsSoOld he voted against the invasion of Normandy.

#BernieSandersIsSoOld he also voted against the Norman invasion.

Pinkie - if memory serves me well, he also voted against WWII, the Civil War, and the Revolutionary War. And before that he voted against the defense of Vienna against the Ottoman Turks, and earlier he voted against the defense against the Huns and the Mongols.

The list goes on, all the way to his historic vote against the early humans leaving the African continent and spreading to other parts of the world, saying that "nothing good will come out of it." And today he proudly stands on his record, saying that he was right about that.

Red Square wrote:Pinkie - if memory serves me well, he also voted against WWII, the Civil War, and the Revolutionary War. And before that he voted against the defense of Vienna against the Ottoman Turks, and earlier he voted against the defense against the Huns and the Mongols.

The list goes on, all the way to his historic vote against the early humans leaving the African continent and spreading to other parts of the world, saying that "nothing good will come out of it." And today he proudly stands on his record, saying that he was right about that.

And before he weighed in on humanity seeking different climes, he weighed in on the first humans arising from monkeys, saying that "Wow! It's got big tits!" This was in his period of adolescence, which was extended by 3.5 billion years due to being so god damn old.

Bernie was electronically transmitted to the Earth by space aliens who were piss drunk and decided to Xerox their butts. He grew up in the Mariana Trench (water wasn't on the Earth at that time) and built a city for himself to live in. The Ancient Greeks would later call this city "Atlantis".

Bernie can remember from his early childhood an asteroid striking the Earth and forming what would later be called the moon. He called this new body "Mozzarella", which stuck until a Neanderthal decided to call it "Oooga Hugo", a name which is still accepted in the Sanders household.

Bernie Sanders is so old he invented the need for plumbing.

Bernie Sanders is so old, the Missing Link was his great-great grandson.

Bernie Sanders is so old, another universe (a pre-verse) spit him into our universe just before OUR "Big Bang."

Bernie Sanders is so old it was his farts that ended the Little Ice Age, for which ending he coined the scientific name "Global Warming 2.0."

Bernie Sanders is so old it was his farts that ended the Big Ice Age, for which ending he coined the scientific name "Global Warming 1.0."

Bernie Sanders is so old that his first fart became known as the Big Bang, echoes of which modern scientists discovered in the late 1950's.

Bernie Sanders is so old that he remembers when Mars was green, wet and warm (instead of cold and with an atmosphere composed of nearly 90% Carbon Dioxide as it is now).

Bernie Sanders is so old that he is green, wet and warm a.k.a. molded.

Bernie Sanders is so old that he actually planted the Sapling of Serfdom in the Garden of Envy.

Bernie Sanders is so old he unionized the mini-brontosauruses Fred Flintstone had enslaved for travel to and from work.

Bernie Sanders is so old his first protest was that the discovery of fire would inevitably lead to Global Warming.

Bernie Sanders is so old he remembers when Easter Island was Old Testament Island.

Bernie Sanders is so old he had the first shtik: "Take property ... please!"

KOOK wrote:Bernie Sanders is so old his first protest was that the discovery of fire would inevitably lead to Global Warming.

In other words, Bernie Sanders ratted out Prometheus to the gods for stealing their fire and giving it to humans, but that didn't stop humanity from doing down the path of dependency on Fossil Fuels™.

He also protested the invention of the wheel. In fact, he threw a wrench into that first wheel and broke it, because he knew that such a seemingly innocuous invention would eventually lead to the exploitation of humans and animals, intensify class divisions and economic inequality, create the need for Fossil Fuels™, War for Oil™, and Catastrophic Man-Made Global Warming™.

Red Square wrote:

KOOK wrote:Bernie Sanders is so old his first protest was that the discovery of fire would inevitably lead to Global Warming.

In other words, Bernie Sanders ratted out Prometheus to the gods for stealing their fire and giving it to humans, but that didn't stop humanity from doing down the path of dependency on Fossil Fuels™.

He also protested the invention of the wheel. In fact, he threw a wrench into that first wheel and broke it, because he knew that such a seemingly innocuous invention would eventually lead to the exploitation of humans and animals, intensify class divisions and economic inequality, create the need for Fossil Fuels™, War for Oil™, and Catastrophic Man-Made Global Warming™.

Furthermore, he also protested the invention and later production of the Rubik Cube, saying that "This thing is a product of racial divisions within our world. The goal of this game, if you may call it that, is to take all of the colors, or races, and segregate them all. This is an outrage! I propose we ban this and shoot Erno Rubik with an official Red Rider carbine-action 200-shot range model BB rifle!". However, he did NOT come up with the Glorious People's Kube, and for this we frown upon him.

#BerniebelongsinaMuseum

Red Square wrote:... The list goes on, all the way to his historic vote against the early humans leaving the African continent and spreading to other parts of the world, saying that "nothing good will come out of it." And today he proudly stands on his record, saying that he was right about that.

but.. but.. but why so frugal ?


look here : ( see Bernie in the very center of the disaster that soon followed ? )