The People's Cube - Political Satire

Attention ISIS customers: Apple continues to provide a secure product to plan and organize your attacks on infidel non-believers.

If you are caught or killed, can your internet browsing history and your contact list remain unidentified by the FBI? Will your phone remain locked? Carry an Apple iPhone, it will!

By Allah, you have rights, and Apple will protect them.



iPhone... Spread the Religion of Peace with peace of mind...

Ivan the Stakhanovets - you beat me to making this Apple promotion by a couple of hours. I hope you don't mind me adding an original People's Cube graphic at the top. Here's more:

Trusted by the best in the industry!

[img]/images/iPhone_ISIS_Flag_Trusted_Group.jpg[/img]

[img]/images/iPhone_ISIS_SanBernardino.jpg[/img]

Spasebo, Comrade Direktor;

It is my privilege to provide raw material for fermentation refinement into a beverage informative product for the intoxication enlightenment of the useful idiots Workers of the World, ...

and the Children ™

Remember when Apple boycotted Indiana because of the gay marriage thing, while not boycotting the execution of gays in Muslim countries? Our comrade Konservative Punk did this one:

[img]/images/various_uploads/IPhone_Gay_Executions_Apple_Boycott_Indiana.jpg[/img]

We can trust the glorious STATE with our cell phone security.

From Apple: The New iJihad!

Features:

Powered by Hate 2.0
Infinite battery life
Has a conflict resolution of 0*0
Ultra-high definition, it's like you're really there!
Wireless, If you're smart enough
Free Genius Allahu AkBAR services at any Apple location for the life of your iJihad
.5 megapixel camera for filming other iJihads!
90-day or until death warranty, whichever comes first

And if your iJihad backfires on you, Mohammed will smile upon you and give you 28 extra virgins for free!

"Fatima, I bring you New i(sis) Phone!"

"Shukran, Achmed! Inshallah, I will live as long as the battery..."

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You'd better use the correct server though!
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Alas poor Ivan was not as clever as our MTE™ ...
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Lev Termen wrote:

The FBI tells Apple to spend a couple of million dollars building a breakin tool for them, rather than hiring engineers and spending their own cash. This is indeed Obamanation! Papa Stalin would be so proud.

This won't be the "one time thing" trumpeted by the FBI. Nothing this useful could be "one time." The resulting breakin software would be in every government agency within a month, then in the hands of every criminal hacker within two months.

Shortly thereafter it will be the IRS demanding "Give us the phone, kulak, you have no right against self-incrimination."

Which won't be amusing.

I hate Apple more than I hate finding last week's oozing dog log under the couch. The company is arrogant, elitist and corrupt. It buys components from sweatshops where the "dormitories" have nets to catch suiciding workers. It is neither reasonable nor sane for them to say "Fixed our phone somewhere else, did you? Well, we're going to break it permanently by remote control. That'll fix you."

It galls me no end to say that in this case, I think they're correct. But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.

But I ain't.

"No you ain't." Imagine buying a high security lock set for your house and later discovering the manufacturer was forced to provide a duplicate key to Dear Leader - just in case he might need it some day. Right!