The Gettysburg address is too old fashioned. People are too busy to read through the massive length of it, as well as the long words that blossom like white mold on a long-wintering pile of canine feces.
So I have thrown out all the useless words and only left the ones that are important. I'm sure you'll agree that they have much more impact. Perhaps you can edit your own new improved version!
Here is my version, which is compact enough to fit in a modern school textbook and can even help a child's self esteem by being easier to memorize:
"Four men are living. They be dead, we resolve. God shall perish."
- A. Lincoln
2/27/2016, 6:07 pm
Comrade Abrakham Linkol'n
Comrades,
For Christ sake keep this crap quiet.
The Modernized Gettysburg address again brings up this masterful piece of Bull Shit by none other than moi.
Everyone forgets that only a single General surrendered but the damn Rebels believe the Confederate States of America are still alive and well. Their congress was never disbanded, the States remain in place and their savior The Donald is almost in power and their militias are ready to move. Hell, more States are ready to join their revolution as the USSA continues to struggle.
Damn the internet. Those f***rs are getting a little edgy ...............
