The People's Cube - Political Satire

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Komrads!

We must denounce this heinous Act of Zionist Terrorism. The poor oppressed Palestinian killed by the overly aggressive Zionist was just trying to negotiate the vending of some Halal wine. Then the Zionist unsheathed the knife (from his own neck) and stabbed the helpless oppressed Palestinian to death.

Stabbing victim pulls knife out of own neck, kills terrorist

Isn't this the sort of Zionist aggression we've been on about for years? Where is the UN (PBUT)?

Finally, the Current Truth™ comes out.


Red Salmon

I'll bet he uses the oldest excuse in the book...

"I was cleaning my knife and didn't know it was loaded six times..."

Dear Comrade Salmon, thank you for your uncovering of yet another Zionist plot!

It is known to us in Europe since a long time that jews carry bags of stolen gold around their necks (see the evidence here).


Apparently the Anti Revolutionary Zionist Pigs are now planting knives in their own necks to attack harmless palestinians on the streets!

I hope our friends at the European Politbureau can impose some sanctions on Israel...

Comrades,

The dispute was most likely caused by insensitive Jewish merchants selling wine labeled "Made in Israel" when it should have been labeled "Made in Israeli-occupied Syrian territories." No wonder the Palestinian became incensed.

The simple explanation:

"The political status of the Golan Heights has resulted in controversy on the export market. In one example a number of Golan Heights wines were marketed by Systembolaget, Sweden's state-owned monopoly alcohol retailer, on shelves and in the sales catalogue.

Following customer complaints that "Made in Israel"wines were produced from grapes grown in the Golan Heights, and consultation with Sweden's foreign ministry, Systembolaget changed the shelf labeling to read, "Made in Israeli-occupied Syrian territories." However this prompted further complaints, from some customers and a Member of Parliament. Systembolaget's solution was to simply remove all reference to the product's country of origin on shelves and in catalogues, classifying the wine as of "other origins." The actual bottles remained unchanged throughout the controversy, and carried the producer's English-language labels."

Captain Craptek wrote:Comrades,

The dispute was most likely caused by insensitive Jewish merchants selling wine labeled "Made in Israel" when it should have been labeled "Made in Israeli-occupied Syrian territories." No wonder the Palestinian became incensed.

The simple explanation:

"The political status of the Golan Heights has resulted in controversy on the export market. In one example a number of Golan Heights wines were marketed by Systembolaget, Sweden's state-owned monopoly alcohol retailer, on shelves and in the sales catalogue.

Following customer complaints that "Made in Israel"wines were produced from grapes grown in the Golan Heights, and consultation with Sweden's foreign ministry, Systembolaget changed the shelf labeling to read, "Made in Israeli-occupied Syrian territories." However this prompted further complaints, from some customers and a Member of Parliament. Systembolaget's solution was to simply remove all reference to the product's country of origin on shelves and in catalogues, classifying the wine as of "other origins." The actual bottles remained unchanged throughout the controversy, and carried the producer's English-language labels."

Ive heard that Komrade Pamalinsky fancies wine, why don't we Pony Express a bottle over to her? Because if it's good, then we have yet another thing to add to the "Opiates for the Masses" aisle in our State-controlled supermarkets. We'll just say that it's "an old brew" from "the mountains of Siberia, where the cleanest water flows down the mightiest rocks into the shiniest rivers". The Proles don't need to know what they're actually consuming, heck, under my watch our StateMarts replaced all of the shampoos with a mixture of diesel fuel and used chicken grease and we sold thrice the amount we did before! We replaced copy paper with ultra-thin sheets of lead and we got comments saying that the new paper was easier to use! We started filling the bottles of soda with just air and we got letters saying that our new formula tasted better than the old one! If we can do this, can we not sell some cheapo middle-eastern wine as Glorious Soviet Wine?

Good idea comrade Stierlitz!

Accepting that Glorious soviet wine is the best wine takes only a small effort of "mind focusing". The problem lies not with the quality of the wine... the problem lies with the education and mind control of the masses.

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Those Zionist murderers will stop at nothing. This brutal monster attacked a poor Palestinian child with a guitar! As reported in the biased, lying western media:

"A quick-thinking 26-year-old stunned a Palestinian man on a stabbing spree in Tel Aviv, Israel on Tuesday when he smashed his acoustic guitar over the terrorist's head.

Yishai Montgomery was playing his guitar on the beach when he heard screams and saw a man later identified as Bashar Masalha, 22 (still a child, according to Obamacare,) running towards him with a knife, Jerusalem Online reported.

In the heroic effort to stop the assailant, Montgomery managed to stun Masalha, who reportedly killed an American tourist (Taylor Force) and injured up to a dozen people before he was gunned down by the police.

With a large hole left in Montgomery's guitar, people have lauded the 26-year-old for his bravery and contributed money towards a new instrument."

'Guitar hero' who broke his instrument when he used it to bash terrorist on the head

Meanwhile, in the real ?!?!?!?!? world:

Yariv Oppenheimer, leader of the Peace Now organization, condemned terror victim Yonatan Azarihab, who was wounded in a stabbing attack on Tuesday, for killing his assailant in the course of the attack.
Oppenheimer took to Twitter on Wednesday, blasting what he termed the “execution” of terrorists who were killed while carrying out violent attacks on Tuesday in Jaffa and Petach Tikva.

Is crazy stronger than satire?

Ignorance is strength, comrade Ghost!

Minitrue wrote:Ignorance is strength, comrade Ghost!

Repeat after me:

"Mind over matter, mind over matter, I don't have a mind so it don't matter"

Great Stalin's Ghost wrote:Meanwhile, in the real ?!?!?!?!? world:

Yariv Oppenheimer, leader of the Peace Now organization, condemned terror victim Yonatan Azarihab, who was wounded in a stabbing attack on Tuesday, for killing his assailant in the course of the attack.
Oppenheimer took to Twitter on Wednesday, blasting what he termed the “execution” of terrorists who were killed while carrying out violent attacks on Tuesday in Jaffa and Petach Tikva.

Is crazy stronger than satire?

Shives well-honed will cut to bone but words will never save you.

Biff Henderson wrote:

Great Stalin's Ghost wrote:Meanwhile, in the real ?!?!?!?!? world:

Yariv Oppenheimer, leader of the Peace Now organization, condemned terror victim Yonatan Azarihab, who was wounded in a stabbing attack on Tuesday, for killing his assailant in the course of the attack.
Oppenheimer took to Twitter on Wednesday, blasting what he termed the “execution” of terrorists who were killed while carrying out violent attacks on Tuesday in Jaffa and Petach Tikva.

Is crazy stronger than satire?

Shives well-honed will cut to bone but words will never save you.

Prole-speak:

The State's Sword rules you. Everything you say can and will be held against you.

Comrade Stierlitz wrote:
Prole-speak:

The State's Sword rules you. Everything you say can and will be held against you.

Revision is the opiate of the people.

Thank you, comrades, for helping me understand. Now I get it. Up is down. Right is left. Day is night. Free speech is hate speech. Censorship is free speech. Ignorance is understanding. Stupidity is genius. Insanity is the only thing that will keep us sane!

Comrade ghost, good work with your rehabilitation!If you ever doubt your sanity again do the following test.

In the picture below, the state assures you, there are 5 fingers in the air.



If you see only 4 fingers, you have a mental condition: please report to my office in the ministry for further education.

[color=#C0392B]Minitrue forgot to mention this when he[/color] wrote:Comrade ghost, good work with your rehabilitation!If you ever doubt your sanity again do the following test.

In the picture below, the state assures you, there are 5 fingers in the air.

4 fingers.jpg

If you see only 4 fingers, you have a mental condition: please report to my office in the ministry for further education.

I've recently seen comrades giving Trump that missing finger.

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:I'll bet he uses the oldest excuse in the book...

"I was cleaning my knife and didn't know it was loaded six times..."

Ahahahahahah! Very Good Comrade Stakhanovets!

I almost put coffee through my blowhole... For some reason this reminded me of lazing in bath in plastic lined room at friends' apartment in Ramat Gan in Jan '91... think it was the 17th... anyway, was lazing in bath, with gas mask and nerve gas pen at the ready when one of only a handful of scuds to actually land in Jewish occupied Palestinian lands otherwise known as suburb of Tel Aviv... AKA: Ramat Gan... blowed up real good about four blocks away... They forgot to load nerve gas on it, silly Iraqis, but someone died of a heart attack, I think... Iraqi's really were so poorly trained it was painful sometimes, and they could have blown up so much really old shit - thus eliminating any proof that Canaanites, Israelites, Jews, Babylonians, and Christians, etc. lived there before a space ship dropped those two really huge mosques on top of the temple mount in Jerusalem - with all those scuds, not to mention that super huge rail gun (will leave jokes about unnecessarily large rail guns to others)...

Why does blowing shit up never cease to be entertaining? Probably something to do with one of the laws of thermodynamics. One day I expect to blow something up and have it materialize into... I dunno... a room full of 100 monkeys at typewriters or something equally cat-in-a-sealed-and-booby-trapped-box-ish.. (It's times like this that I really miss Papa Theo). Anyway, I think if I blow enough shit up enough times, the law of averages dictates that something ordered but entirely useless will arise out of the chaos... If not monkeys, then maybe a room full of meerkats working on a jigsaw puzzle... That would be cute, and might trend for about 15 minutes on Twitter, before someone reports that someone's ass has gotten bigger/smaller/flatter/rounder/blown up...

In any case, was very well put.... Will have to remember it in case I need good excuse in the near future. Or maybe if I'm bored tomorrow, I will stab someone with a firearm, just so I can use it. I'll let you know how it goes...
Cheers!
Sis

Comrade Minitrue wrote:Comrade ghost, good work with your rehabilitation!If you ever doubt your sanity again do the following test.

In the picture below, the state assures you, there are 5 fingers in the air.

4 fingers.jpg

If you see only 4 fingers, you have a mental condition: please report to my office in the ministry for further education.

For Shame Comrade Minitrue! For Shame!

I believe you must repeat your Official Cube Sensitivity Training, as there are clearly many finger-challenged Cubists! I have often commented to our Glorious Incarnadine Trapezoid... Well... Whispered in his ear as he sleeps, really, so that he wonders why upon awakening he has had such ridiculous thoughts, that the Cube is at risk of becoming overrun by hairless finger-monkeys. Nevertheless, he has instituted re-education for just those finger-monkeys who give not a thought to those of their brothers and sisters who are phalangically-challenged... Alternately, I would be willing to drop the whole thing if you would just drop by Housekeeping and scratch this spot just behind my dorsal fin... It's been driving me nuts and I just can't get to it... That's how it works, isn't it? "You scratch my back. I don't have you thrown in a deep dark hole and forgotten."... I have learned so very much during my time among humans.

Sister Massively... Dolphin?

I will report for cube sensitivity training at once. Is it in the classroom with "terror pit" or the one with "firing squad busy- do not disturb".

Minitrue wrote:Sister Massively... Dolphin?

I will report for cube sensitivity training at once. Is it in the classroom with "terror pit" or the one with "firing squad busy- do not disturb".

Room 101. Hall Z, Corridor 23, down the stairs and to the left. Keep your Prole Badge displayed at all times or you will be shot.

Red Square wrote:

A historical note for new members:

Our dear friend and comrade Sister Massively Opiated self-identifies herself with being a weaponized dolphin who escaped from a U.S. Navy facility in New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina and made her way to the prairies of Canada along with a pod of like-minded cetaceans.

She has been this way ever since she has become massively opiated after a terrible incident at her previous job as a crash dummy.

Sister Massively Opiated is currently employed as Kommissar of Housekeeping, Disappearances, Composting, Dissection, and Limo Service at the People's Cube Bunker (which may or may not exist).