As an award-winning communist agitator in good standing and a made prog, I often sneak up on people with an innocent idea to lift the U.S. embargo on Cuba. I start by manipulating their emotions with visuals of dire poverty, and no matter where the discussion goes from there, I know I have done my job by planting the seeds of sympathy that someday will bear fruit.
But recently I spoke to a friend who was immune to my agitation and quickly turned my own arguments against me. It is my duty as a prog to relay this conversation to you as a warning to all fellow prog agitators, so they don't fall into the same logical trap. To spare myself embarrassment, I'm referring to myself in third person as "PROG."
PROG: Speaking of living in the 21st century, isn't it ridiculous that the U.S. is still imposing a stupid Cold-War embargo on Cuba? The Cuban people live in dire poverty, and it is so unfair. Haven't they suffered enough? It's time to build bridges instead of walls.
FRIEND: That's a shame. Before socialism Cuba was the richest country in Latin America, and now it's the poorest. How come?
PROG: Don't you see? Our embargo has impeded their economic development. How can the U.S. blame poverty on socialism when it never gave socialism a chance to develop? This is so unfair, it's mind-boggling.
FRIEND: Are there U.S. Navy ships surrounding Cuba and not allowing any trade vessel to get through?
PROG: Well... No....
FRIEND: So Cuba can still trade with any country in the world except the U.S.?
PROG: Well... Yes... but America could be its closest trading partner and the richest...
FRIEND: I know Cuba trades with Europe, Canada, China, Mexico, and all the other Latin American countries. It has also received a lot of aid from Russia and Venezuela. How come it remains so poor?
PROG: That's what I'm trying to tell you! The U.S. embargo…
FRIEND: Are you saying that trading with the rest of the world can't lift a country out of poverty as long as the capitalist United States is not part of this trade?
PROG: Well... maybe...
FRIEND: So if the capitalist United States didn't exist at all, the rest of the world would be doomed to living in poverty just like Cuba, without any hope of improvement? And only the presence of the capitalist United States in the world gives the other nations the hope and the opportunity to lift themselves up?
PROG: I didn't say that…
FRIEND: And yet, that's some of the best pro-American arguments I ever heard! Thank you!
PROG: You're not my friend!
If anyone knows of a better retort, let me know!
3/21/2016, 8:27 pm
Ivan Betinov
It is obvious that your former "friend" was a racist. That will end any argument, because if you don't embrace collectivism that's what you are.
3/21/2016, 9:40 pm
Comrade Stierlitz
Red Square wrote:If anyone knows of a better retort, let me know!
PROG: *click*
FRIEND: What are you doing with that?
PROG: Just stay still....
FRIEND: Whoa! Don't point that thing at me!
PROG: *BANG!*
FRIEND: *THUD*
PROG: Right, time to call the Party coroner.
3/21/2016, 10:28 pm
Pamalinsky
Red Square wrote:If anyone knows of a better retort, let me know!
Well, I don't know if this is exactly a better retort, dear Comrade Director, but here's the Mariachi (Mexican) version of the Star Spangled Banner which, I understand, was played when Oleander landed on the tarmac of the Cuban Airport.
I wanted to post it as a joke but, it's actually good! (I wasn't expecting that).
And, I have a real hard time liking Mariachi music, it's so noisy and blaring, but you gotta give this guy credit, he hit it outta the park!
3/21/2016, 11:16 pm
Red Square
Some right-wing humor with Obama posing for photographs in Cuba.
3/21/2016, 11:28 pm
Red Square
Pamalinsky - that was indeed a great version. If it was really played in Havana like you say, that means Cuba has already unilaterally surrendered to the U.S. because in the very beginning you can hear the English-language announcer invite everyone to stand up, and I quote, "for the singing of OUR national anthem."
3/21/2016, 11:45 pm
Red Square
A message to Obama from a Cuban dissident.
3/22/2016, 12:48 pm
Pamalinsky
Comrade Red Square,
The “douCHEbag” photo? Now, that's good!
The Cuban addressing Oleander: I love the way he keeps spitting out (PATOOEE!) the acronym POTUS, like it's an epithet. It reminds me of another word, also an epithet, PUTA. Yeah, this is muy bueno!
Most equal, Comrade Red Square.
3/22/2016, 1:56 pm
Comrade Stierlitz
Pamalinsky wrote:Comrade Red Square,
The “douCHEbag” photo? Now, that's good!
The Cuban addressing Oleander: I love the way he keeps spitting out (PATOOEE!) the acronym POTUS, like it's an epithet. It reminds me of another word, also an epithet, PUTA. Yeah, this is muy bueno!
Most equal, Comrade Red Square.
And just because:
3/22/2016, 2:26 pm
Pamalinsky
Yeah, Stierlitz!
Let's post anything that contains the letters CHE! The possibilities are endless!
Good one, my friend.
3/22/2016, 2:52 pm
Red Square
Che is not the only one in this equation and fair spelling game... What does this riddle say?
Really? I thought it was a 25 year old Joe Biden. Interesting the things you can learn.
Well, Cthulhu/Biden...it's really the same thing. Thanks for bringing this to the fore. And, BTW, this analogy is not confined to Biden's age. He has always been Cthulhu/Biden from birth. Yeah, true story.
3/23/2016, 4:48 pm
Pamalinsky
Comrade Stierlitz wrote:
Pamalinsky wrote:Comrade Red Square,
The “douCHEbag” photo? Now, that's good!
The Cuban addressing Oleander: I love the way he keeps spitting out (PATOOEE!) the acronym POTUS, like it's an epithet. It reminds me of another word, also an epithet, PUTA. Yeah, this is muy bueno!
Most equal, Comrade Red Square.
CHEeseburger.jpg
And just because:
You know, Stierlitz, this video reveals the truth about international travel. And, I thank you for revealing this. When my spousal unit and I visited Hawaii a few years ago, we noticed how awful the coffee tasted when we brewed it in our rented unit. We used bottled water and fresh coffee beans to no avail. Somehow though, it tasted great at the local Starbucks.
We have no explanation for this. So, I'm going for the Hamburger thing. It's real!
3/23/2016, 6:50 pm
Comrade Stierlitz
Pamalinsky wrote:
Comrade Stierlitz wrote:
Pamalinsky wrote:Comrade Red Square,
The “douCHEbag” photo? Now, that's good!
The Cuban addressing Oleander: I love the way he keeps spitting out (PATOOEE!) the acronym POTUS, like it's an epithet. It reminds me of another word, also an epithet, PUTA. Yeah, this is muy bueno!
Most equal, Comrade Red Square.
CHEeseburger.jpg
And just because:
You know, Stierlitz, this video reveals the truth about international travel. And, I thank you for revealing this. When my spousal unit and I visited Hawaii a few years ago, we noticed how awful the coffee tasted when we brewed it in our rented unit. We used bottled water and fresh coffee beans to no avail. Somehow though, it tasted great at the local Starbucks.
We have no explanation for this. So, I'm going for the Hamburger thing. It's real!
[OFF]
The coffee maker might've been dirty inside, bottled water won't matter if the local water's deposited it's filth in the system. If you used something you brought yourself like a percolator or what have you, I have no explanation either. Next time you go afield to lighten your treasure chest by a couple thousand doubloons by sleeping in rooms with bad air conditioners and drinking water that smells like a chemical processing plant and tastes like watered-down Windex, you may want to run a couple cycles through the coffee maker with nothing but water your brought yourself with a little white vinegar added.
3/23/2016, 7:24 pm
Comrade Biffinaditch
3/23/2016, 7:40 pm
Red Square
Oldie but goldie -
Speaking of Che, someone used our poster idea at a Tea Party rally in DC - and gave us full credit!
Awesome read! Muy awesome. Inglorious Basterds all!