The People's Cube - Political Satire

Lifting the limp-wristed embargo...

(Full lyrics to the song -Spanish & English- HERE)

I had to see it to believe it. What glorious times we live in!

1. Okay, now watch me con this old gay Cuban guy.

2. No, really; Cuban Socialized medicine is so much better than Free market health care. I just go rotator cuff surgery on a walk-in basis, didn't have to pay a thing, and look how supple this arm is now.

3. “Now, from this position, I can do a sweep kick OR a southpaw reach-around.” Obama demonstrates his sweet kung-fu moves with a less-than-impressed totalitarian.

4. “Really, it usually works when I clamp a hand on their head and scream ‘the power of executive order compels you!'” Obama reassures the crowd that his powers as a faith healer have not failed after Raul Castro reached up and calmly removed his hand from his forehead.

5. “Blunder-Twin Powers, Activate! Form of…a Generic Totalitarian! Shape of …A Totalitarian Generian!”

6. The new hot couple on the social scene: Castrobama!

Ivan Betinov wrote:1. Okay, now watch me con this old gay Cuban guy.

It has to be "cut in stone" for posterity:

O: This old man is calling me out. What'cha say my peeps, do I make him my bitch?R: Dear (effeminate colloquialism), to be a baller you must have (slang for to be a real man, have a set of balls).

"Let's give a big hand to this stupid gringo. He sold out America for a smile and a photo op."

Obama: They make fun of me. They say I am weak and wimpy. They say I was born in Africa and I am Michelle's bitch. Oh, Godfather, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do...

Raul: YOU CAN ACT LIKE A MAN!

What's the matter with you? Is this what you've become, a Hollywood finocchio who cries like a woman? "Oh, what do I do? What do I do?" What is that nonsense? Ridiculous!

.
Raúl barely twisted his arm...
.
.

Comrade Jarlsberg beat me to it....

I appreciate all the Spanish lingo but I can't press 2 for Spanish in my brain because it hasn't been installed yet by the all-caring government. Maybe by the end of Hillary's second term it will be. For now, translation please.

If you think his wrist is limp, you should see his dick.

Well, at least we can be grateful that Cuba doesn't want gifts from Amerikkka. It saves a lot on our wrapping paper and curling ribbon budget, and quite frankly, I've always found tying bows to be a bitch, no matter how many flippers are available to "just hold that knot... yeah... right there!"... Seriously, why do you hairless finger monkeys bother? And you just rip it right off again anyway. I can't tell you how many times I've had to extricate Aki from a spider's web of that stuff, and it always bring with it horror-filled memories of being trapped in tuna nets.

Z0-loft and At!-van All Round!*
Sister Massively Opiated

*Sorry for silly writing, but if I wrote the name correctly, the censors would change it to something ridiculous to avoid spam posts... though some of the things that get put in place of the brand names of meds is pretty funny.

Sister Massively Opiated wrote:Well, at least we can be grateful that Cuba doesn't want gifts from Amerikkka. It saves a lot on our wrapping paper and curling ribbon budget, and quite frankly, I've always found tying bows to be a bitch, no matter how many flippers are available to "just hold that knot... yeah... right there!"... Seriously, why do you hairless finger monkeys bother? And you just rip it right off again anyway. I can't tell you how many times I've had to extricate Aki from a spider's web of that stuff, and it always bring with it horror-filled memories of being trapped in tuna nets.

Z0-loft and At!-van All Round!*
Sister Massively Opiated

*Sorry for silly writing, but if I wrote the name correctly, the censors would change it to something ridiculous to avoid spam posts... though some of the things that get put in place of the brand names of meds is pretty funny.

Bows? BOWS? SMO, there's this new People's Invention, it's called scotch tape. You have a scotch, then you tape the paper like you normally would, and if they complain about no bow, just tell them you got drunk and forgot the bow. But if you desperately need to have a bow, tie a shoe knot bow! Better yet, soak it in fiberglass resin so that they can't screw it up and so that you can sift through the pile of wrapping paper to use it again. If they complain about the shoe bow, tell you what you can do. You wrap your next box in the fanciest stuff you can imagine. But this time, you fill the box with concrete and let it cure! You can even wrap the box in hundreds of layers of wrapping paper to get a gag out of it.

Red Square wrote:I appreciate all the Spanish lingo but I can't press 2 for Spanish in my brain because it hasn't been installed yet by the all-caring government. Maybe by the end of Hillary's second term it will be. For now, translation please.

You can press two for Spanish! Press one finger into one eye for English, or press two fingers into both eyes for Spanish! And don't worry about not knowing Spanish, you'll start speaking it as soon as you press 2 for Spanish...

Comrade Stierlitz wrote: Bows? BOWS? SMO, there's this new People's Invention, it's called scotch tape. You have a scotch, then you tape the paper like you normally would, and if they complain about no bow, just tell them you got drunk and forgot the bow. But if you desperately need to have a bow, tie a shoe knot bow! Better yet, soak it in fiberglass resin so that they can't screw it up and so that you can sift through the pile of wrapping paper to use it again. If they complain about the shoe bow, tell you what you can do. You wrap your next box in the fanciest stuff you can imagine. But this time, you fill the box with concrete and let it cure! You can even wrap the box in hundreds of layers of wrapping paper to get a gag out of it.

Respectfully Comrade Stierlitz,

I was going to let this thread die a natural death, but then I thought, "seriously?... Why the f**k would anyone think Housekeeping doesn't have, let alone, know, what Scotch Tape is?" We're f**king weaponized, navy-trained dolphins, not retards. Hell, I've got waterproof PostIt™ Notes. As for the bows you speak of, WTF is a shoe knot bow?...D'you mean the kind of bow you tie your shoes with? Or in my case, when I'm not on the Cube, and shed one of my many online personas, that I tie my 20-something eye, knee high Fluevog Sh*t Kickers with? Dey look like dis, but dey goes up to my knees...
Aren't dey pretty? These are my 'don't f**k with me boooots'. But my piercings and tats help too. They don't scream fiscal conservative, but I've always enjoyed screwing with peoples' heads, and when you can argue why Keynesian Economics no longer works as a model (despite the "common wisdom", which, like "common sense", I find to be in short supply, most of the time), or that all trading has essentially become arbitrage, of a sort, at least in terms of speed, and why capitalism is broken (but will still always be the most democratic system, and for some reason, I manage to have faith that it will be self correcting... that, or we'll end up with no borders and transnationals will replace governments.... at last until some mad f**king Middle Eastern despot starts WWIII cuz they don't give a f**k about mutually assured self-destruction since they'll being going to paradise while the rest of us who survive will just die in the hell of a nuclear winter... Aren't I a ray of sunshine?) as long as financial companies can buy real estate from banks, etc. that allows their communications equipment to be closer to a bank's servers, in an age where it can shave nanosecond off their ability to trade, or that the ease with which traders of any stripe can enact and then cancel a trade, but it still has an effect on markets and so is a manipulation... I could go on... and on... But when you argue shit like that, but seriously believe that however broken it might be, it is still better than any form of socialism, but look like you belong in a cloud of tear gas at an economic summit, it adds a delightful soupçon of cognitive dissonance to situations where useful idiots believe they have a captive audience... and the booooots help. Also, they're really comfortable.

Is that what you mean by a shoe knot bow? Sorry... I've been up for about 48 hours cuz the air pressure is tanking and everything hurts, so I might be a bit grumpy.

As for concrete, why would I waste good concrete on a joke gift, when I can use it to fill wiffle ball bats up and use them as weapons? Seriously... it's like the little weld the Canadian government makes us put on an Uzi to keep us from setting it on automatic... pointless, really, since you can just knock it off with a chisel. And a waste of good solder.

All that being said, at least you're going to get to say goodbye to Obama soon. Up here, my moronic paesans have recently voted in a Prime Minister with absolutely no qualifications whatsoever, on the basis of brand name recognition, and the poor memory of what his father did to this country while he was in charge of it. So, while Castro may not need your presents, we very well may soon be up for them... anything... A little oil pipeline, maybe? I'd ask you to pray for us if I actually believed it would help...

But really... when you write "shoe knot bow", are you actually talking about the one you tie your shoes with?... I didn't realize everyone thought I was retarded and not just buzzed on my pain meds. Heheheheh (that's not a cute, teeheehee, BTW... think of it as an evil cackle)...

Cheers,
SMO

Sister Massively Opiated wrote:

Comrade Stierlitz wrote: Bows? BOWS? SMO, there's this new People's Invention, it's called scotch tape. You have a scotch, then you tape the paper like you normally would, and if they complain about no bow, just tell them you got drunk and forgot the bow. But if you desperately need to have a bow, tie a shoe knot bow! Better yet, soak it in fiberglass resin so that they can't screw it up and so that you can sift through the pile of wrapping paper to use it again. If they complain about the shoe bow, tell you what you can do. You wrap your next box in the fanciest stuff you can imagine. But this time, you fill the box with concrete and let it cure! You can even wrap the box in hundreds of layers of wrapping paper to get a gag out of it.

Respectfully Comrade Stierlitz,

I was going to let this thread die a natural death, but then I thought, "seriously?... Why the f**k would anyone think Housekeeping doesn't have, let alone, know, what Scotch Tape is?" We're f**king weaponized, navy-trained dolphins, not retards. Hell, I've got waterproof PostIt™ Notes. As for the bows you speak of, WTF is a shoe knot bow?...D'you mean the kind of bow you tie your shoes with? Or in my case, when I'm not on the Cube, and shed one of my many online personas, that I tie my 20-something eye, knee high Fluevog Sh*t Kickers with? Dey look like dis, but dey goes up to my knees...

booooots.gif

Aren't dey pretty? These are my 'don't f**k with me boooots'. But my piercings and tats help too. They don't scream fiscal conservative, but I've always enjoyed screwing with peoples' heads, and when you can argue why Keynesian Economics no longer works as a model (despite the "common wisdom", which, like "common sense", I find to be in short supply, most of the time), or that all trading has essentially become arbitrage, of a sort, at least in terms of speed, and why capitalism is broken (but will still always be the most democratic system, and for some reason, I manage to have faith that it will be self correcting... that, or we'll end up with no borders and transnationals will replace governments.... at last until some mad f**king Middle Eastern despot starts WWIII cuz they don't give a f**k about mutually assured self-destruction since they'll being going to paradise while the rest of us who survive will just die in the hell of a nuclear winter... Aren't I a ray of sunshine?) as long as financial companies can buy real estate from banks, etc. that allows their communications equipment to be closer to a bank's servers, in an age where it can shave nanosecond off their ability to trade, or that the ease with which traders of any stripe can enact and then cancel a trade, but it still has an effect on markets and so is a manipulation... I could go on... and on... But when you argue shit like that, but seriously believe that however broken it might be, it is still better than any form of socialism, but look like you belong in a cloud of tear gas at an economic summit, it adds a delightful soupçon of cognitive dissonance to situations where useful idiots believe they have a captive audience... and the booooots help. Also, they're really comfortable.

Is that what you mean by a shoe knot bow? Sorry... I've been up for about 48 hours cuz the air pressure is tanking and everything hurts, so I might be a bit grumpy.

As for concrete, why would I waste good concrete on a joke gift, when I can use it to fill wiffle ball bats up and use them as weapons? Seriously... it's like the little weld the Canadian government makes us put on an Uzi to keep us from setting it on automatic... pointless, really, since you can just knock it off with a chisel. And a waste of good solder.

All that being said, at least you're going to get to say goodbye to Obama soon. Up here, my moronic paesans have recently voted in a Prime Minister with absolutely no qualifications whatsoever, on the basis of brand name recognition, and the poor memory of what his father did to this country while he was in charge of it. So, while Castro may not need your presents, we very well may soon be up for them... anything... A little oil pipeline, maybe? I'd ask you to pray for us if I actually believed it would help...

But really... when you write "shoe knot bow", are you actually talking about the one you tie your shoes with?... I didn't realize everyone thought I was retarded and not just buzzed on my pain meds. Heheheheh (that's not a cute, teeheehee, BTW... think of it as an evil cackle)...

Cheers,
SMO

Yes, that's what I mean by a shoe knot bow. Shoe knot bows are a LOT simpler than any other bow you might think of. Especially if you double knot the shoe knot bow. Heck, you've said shoe knot bow so many times that I just can't help but say shoe knot bow so many times myself! But, yes, the knot you use on your beautiful boots is what I mean by a shoe knot bow.

Kewl!