As you all know I work at the ministry of truth of the European Union in the fine and peaceful capital of Brussels, site of the recent terrorist attacks (Tuesday 22/3).
Some of you might doubt the capability of our mighty nontransparent bureaucracy to fight blind terror such as this. But fear not comrades! In a series of bold statements and actions the Apparatchiks and Kommissars here in Belgium and the EU have provided the people with hope and confidence in our Great Leaders! I will provide my revolutionary friends across the ocean with a small anthology:
Clear analysis by the Belgian Kommissariat:
We are all sure this will help us a lot!
Strong response by comrade Mogherini, EU foreign policy minister:
Comrade Mogherini is a great supporter of Dear Leader Merkel's Syrian Refugee Colonisation program. No doubt more refugees is the only sane answer to these attacks!
Luggage control of all commuters at the Brussels central rail station:
This serves two purposes:
A. Terrorists do not have to walk all the way to the train to blow themselves up, but can just do it in the street where a mass of thousands of people awaits them!
B. People get used to lines, something the Europe of the future will need more and more (bread lines, handout lines, ...).
War is declared on terrorists
Our exalted leaders have taken the following aggressive measures to defend the population:
three days of mandatory coddling and hugging each other.
"Imagine" by John Lennon must be on every radio station all the time.
warning everybody against homophobia. Because Muslims are the true victims of these attacks!
The terrorists will be trembling with fear no doubt!
Below a picture of the ghost of Lennon at the "Beursplein" in Brussels singing "Imagine", earlier today.
It's all the fault of Trump and Wilders!
Once more, the populace is reminded of these simple truths: people warning you against Islamic terror, CAUSE Islamic terror! If you do not understand why, report at my office in the ministry tomorrow for re-education. Only the European Collectivist Bureaucracy can lead the proletariat to eternal peace and happiness!
From Brussels, stay safe dear comrades!
Comrade Minitrue
My thoughts are with the families and friends of the victims of these senseless attacks. I of course do not wish to make fun of their terrible suffering. But in times like these we all seek solace in one way or another, and mine sometimes happens to be satire and sarcasm. Greetings.
3/23/2016, 3:32 pm
Hammer and Loupe
What a most equal article Comrade Minitrue. There is much progress in Europe and Our Dear Leader has tried to get as close as or ahead of Europe in progress for the USSA.
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Brussels be strong and like the phoenix from the ashes rise again to be a great country. Here in the Cube, we attempt to keep citizens of each nation not to fall for Tom Foolery and into complete government control. Government is not always the answer and communism is always best on paper and never in practice. Do not fall into diversity/multiculturalism crap, because in truth, your culture changes and theirs do not.
3/23/2016, 4:40 pm
Comrade Biffinaditch
"Islam is a religion of love!"
Lest we forget, not all Islamic bombers are bad.
3/23/2016, 7:57 pm
Navigator
At least the flags were lowered and moments of silence were given.
3/23/2016, 9:09 pm
Red Square
Our European comrades are way ahead of everybody. This is from 2014:
A Belgian feminist group poured about 25 gallons of fake blood on the floor of an airport in Liege, Belgium, to protest its belief that the airport is being used to transport arms to Israel.
Six women from the Liliths activist group emptied the red liquid onto the floor of the cargo airport on Aug. 26, the English-language RT news website reported Saturday.
The women, wearing t-shirts with the colors of the Palestinian flag, unfurled a banner which read “How many tons of weapons for so many liters of blood?”
The demonstration came on the same day that Israel and Palestinian groups in Gaza agreed to an open-ended cease-fire, following Israel's seven-week operation in Gaza.
The women were detained by police. The Liege airport said it would file a complaint against the women, according to the French-language dhnet news website.
An airport spokeswoman told dhnet that no weapons pass through the airport. “This is an unfounded rumor you hear every time there is a spike in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict,” the spokeswoman told the website.
Dear Leader never gets rattled by such trivial things like death and carnage. Lord Obama remains calm, cool and collected at all times.
3/24/2016, 2:00 pm
Red Square
I received a tip from a reader in response to this topic, which led to a little investigation. I wanted to post a story about it here, as a comment, but then decided to make it into a separate article.
Perhaps our Brussels correspondent, Comrade Minitrue, can shed some additional light on this story.
3/24/2016, 3:40 pm
Minitrue
Comrade Red Square: thank you for this nice video. Sometimes I feel I'm the one who's going mad, but then my comrades at the Kube remind me of our International revolutionary bond! It can feel so lonely, being a Thought Police officer fighting for Socialist Multicultural Bureaucratic Rulership over the world...
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Comrade Presidente: thank you for the nice tango video. I'm sure it's a lot of help for the victims of terrorism wordlwide. But at least your president can dance right! Our leaders don't even have the spine for that I'm afraid...
3/24/2016, 6:36 pm
Red Square
Comrade Minitrue - the PROG OFF button can be found in the menu of Editor for the Rich - you can insert it with a click. I replaced it for you. Open your post above for editing and look at the code.
3/25/2016, 1:25 am
Comrade Stierlitz
[OFF]
Dr. Stierlitz's prescription is a 10-second view of this political cartoon after every 10 minutes of reading the pound sign-prefixed "memorials" of twitter users.
NOTE: Dr Stierlitz does not know when the cartoon was drawn.
