The People's Cube - Political Satire

In his decades-long, one-man campaign to move AmeriKKKa™ Forward!™ into the Glorious World of Next Tuesday™, Comrade Bernski has often been maligned by the imperio-capitalist™ oppressor class and their running-dog lackeys in the so-called 'free' press. Recently, a viscously slanderous piece of counterrevolutionary agitprop surfaced wherein two thought-criminals attempt to distort his (Bernski's) korrekt, Forward!™-thinking statements about both the Glorious People's Sandinista Revolution™ and the equity of the People's Food Lines™. To wit:

No one denies that they are building health clinics. Healthcare in Nicaragua is now free…infant mortality has been greatly reduced.
...

It's funny, sometimes American journalists talk about how bad a country is, that people are lining up for food. That is a good thing! In other countries people don't line up for food: the rich get the food and the poor starve to death.

Surrounding these shining examples of his profundity the bourgeois apologists prevaricated and pontificated, feigning disgust with and denial of the self-evident truths, which Comrade Bernski was able to demonstrate thirty years ago.

It's a well-known fact that when a society does away with the immorality of KKKapitalist profit-mongering in healthcare, outcomes across all metrics out-perform those of the backwards, evil imperio-capitalist west. The same must be true, therefore, in regards to food.

Comrade Benrski was eerily prescient on the subject of food equality and justice, and as dedicated Food Justice Warriors™ we must begin agitating immediately for a nationwide, comprehensive, and mandatory food insurance program to combat the kulakian scourge of Food Insecurity™.

We can no longer abide with the murderous Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program; we need the hospitable Sandernista Nutrition Assurance Program!

Hoist your banners, comrades, and take to the streets! Down with SNAP! Up with SNAP! Michelleski Frasieronova for Food Kommissar! ¡Viva la Revolución!

Besides, we all know that if the food wasn't so damn good, no one would've lined up for it.

Imperatorskiy Pingvin wrote:Recently, a viscously slanderous piece of counterrevolutionary agitprop surfaced

Really? How viscous was it?

Was it like molasses? Honey? Or more like lava?

Or was it a little thinner, like borsht?

I see that thought criminals... well... I didn't actually see... or hear, since my computer is currently hating embedded video for some reason... but regardless... I'll assume that the KKKapitalist thought criminals have found another way of screwing us with the notion of Food Banks. When I first heard of these KKKapitalist perversions of an already perverse notion, I thought it would be a good thing, kollektively speaking. I even went and volunteered at one, and donated all the cans of stuff that had been in my cupboard for over three years, but were still good (I'm sure), thinking that it would be a good way to redistribute food to those more equally deserving, or at least, more equally needy... But nope.

Food banks are worse than money banks... They pay no interest, and ultimately, they are just another way for KKKapitalists to redistribute food wealth... You should see them. Just the other day I passed one, and half the people lined up to make a withdrawal were wearing business attire. I mean, seriously. They are obviously just another way for the 1%'ers to take from the other 99% of us, and keep us down and out of powdered milk, canned lentils and beans, peanut butter, pasta, and the occasional can of dented... whatever, since the label is missing.

I am certain they were dreamed up by hedge fund managers. Before you know it, Michael Moore will be making a film about them, and no doubt, making a withdrawal.

Occupy Food Banks!
SMO

PS.

Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:Or was it a little thinner, like borsht?

Heheheheh... That's very funny... But viscosity or no viscosity, whose borscht are you calling thin? Not the Cube's Cafeteria Borscht, I hope... or at least, not the Party's Dining Room Borscht, I hope! The recipe Commissarka Pinkie and I use is from my great-great-great-great-grand-dolphin, from the old country, near the Caspian Sea. It is rich tasting, but yet, cheap, like borscht, to make, and very nourishing, with the perfect balance of sweet and sour. Our borscht is perfect! But maybe you eat in the cafeteria... or the soup line, in which case, probably about 0W, since I understand it is often served cold, and even sometimes below freezing, but yet remains... unfrozen... which would probably be the antifreeze.

Sister Massively Opiated wrote:whose borscht are you calling thin?

My own, of course. I have no wife. At Penn State we don't need wives, there are plenty of children to play in the showers with over at the Athletic Department.

I Hereby Nominate Comrade Lysenkomann For the Most Inappropriate, Offensive, and Completely Un-politically Correct Comment of the Day!!!

Congratulations! That Really Is An Achievement. (And I mean that completely as a compliment. That really took some doing.) Well Done!

Freaking Awesome. You clearly have bigger balls than I do... or any balls at all.

Sister Massively Opiated wrote: PS.

Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:Or was it a little thinner, like borsht?

Heheheheh... That's very funny... But viscosity or no viscosity, whose borscht are you calling thin? Not the Cube's Cafeteria Borscht, I hope... or at least, not the Party's Dining Room Borscht, I hope! The recipe Commissarka Pinkie and I use is from my great-great-great-great-grand-dolphin, from the old country, near the Caspian Sea. It is rich tasting, but yet, cheap, like borscht, to make, and very nourishing, with the perfect balance of sweet and sour. Our borscht is perfect! But maybe you eat in the cafeteria... or the soup line, in which case, probably about 0W, since I understand it is often served cold, and even sometimes below freezing, but yet remains... unfrozen... which would probably be the antifreeze.

I like your borsht. I like the taste. I like the smell. But what I love most of all is the sound it makes as it slams down onto my metal cafeteria tray after the cafeteria guy hammer and chisels a chunk off.

Comrades, as long as you waited the mandatory hour in line for the Peoples allotted ration of Borscht, the Party will forgive most agitprop, as long as directed in the proper party mandated direction. Comrade Bernie, while sharing more with Bozo the Clown than Comrade Stalin, none the less is letting the idiots supporters of magnificent socialist paradise come out and lead planet to doom Glorious World of Next Tuesday™Remember free health care is never more important than free food lines. (Everyone loves to eat™) At least as long as some party approved quality Beet Vodka™ is in good supply, no one will care that the promised steak and potatoes is really Borscht and balls of borscht. Yummm Let the party begin...just get in line.