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5/1/2016, 2:17 pm
Lyman DeKoquonut
This first of many products to make better safe spaces for our tender life blossoms!
As synthetic towels are made from EVIL OIL and wool is the exploitation of sheep, the only towel a caring prog would use must be woven from their own body hair, of course.
The next generation model will feature a "Chalk Filter" in case your towel accidently touched the hateful writings of a Konservative as your fell to the ground in pain from gazing upon the word "T---P" (censored here to prevent fainting and vomiting).
Sob Squisher 3000™
5/1/2016, 3:37 pm
Mikhail Lysenkomann
I especially like the green rollers, Comrade. Nice touch. For a few extra rubles, is it possible to purchase red rollers for use during the Holidays (Mayday, Red October, etc.)?
5/1/2016, 3:46 pm
Captain Craptek
The rollers are
GREEN like <spit> money! I may have a spot for these in my center.
5/1/2016, 8:23 pm
Battlebot Potemkin
Nyet! Comrades. The rollers are not GREEN, they are WATERMELLON: GREEN on the outside, RED in the middle, hence approved by The Party.
5/1/2016, 10:04 pm
Red Square
I first read the name of the device as S.O.B. Squisher. Surely that was not a conscious intention, comrade, or else the Party will have to show-trial you for sabotage.
5/1/2016, 10:05 pm
Comrade Biffinaditch
5/1/2016, 10:06 pm
Ivan the Stakhanovets
Watermelon? What kind of racist dog whistle rethugglikkan talk is this!!
5/2/2016, 7:47 am
Comrade Biffinaditch
Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Watermelon? What kind of racist dog whistle rethugglikkan talk is this!!
Would it soften your view if you were aware they are double-plus good for processing squirrel pelts?
5/2/2016, 8:20 am
Ivan the Stakhanovets
wait... it what?
can I get one on e-bayski or must I wait in line with the unwashed masses?
5/2/2016, 9:49 am
Comrade Biffinaditch
Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:wait... it what?
can I get one on e-bayski or must I wait in line with the unwashed masses?
Those that have shown themselves to be accomplished procurers for the Collective™ can appropriate one via two-day rail. You'll be skin'n n win'n in no time
flat!!!
5/2/2016, 12:41 pm
Lyman DeKoquonut
Red Square wrote:I first read the name of the device as S.O.B. Squisher. Surely that was not a conscious intention, comrade, or else the Party will have to show-trial you for sabotage.
I may have to rename it, I don't want my customers sticking their heads in it...
5/2/2016, 2:41 pm
Dedhedvedev
I'll buy one when they include a free Candlelight Vigil Kit.
5/3/2016, 3:19 pm
Mikhail Lysenkomann
After seeing the latest blog post here on TPC about Anthony Weiner, I briefly thought about having them make rollers that look like... well, you know.
Then I realized that customers of this product will want rollers that are more than two inches long.
5/3/2016, 3:27 pm
Comrade Putout
.
First
.
.
said...
.
Would it soften your view if you were aware they are double-plus good for processing squirrel pelts?
.
Then
.
[color=#C0392B]Ivan the Exterminator[/color] wrote:Wait... it what?
can I get one on e-bayski or must I wait in line with the unwashed masses?
.
.
5/3/2016, 5:20 pm
Comrade Putout
.
Ha ha... Dear Leader™
likes me the best!
.
5/4/2016, 5:48 pm
Lyman DeKoquonut
Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:After seeing the latest blog post here on TPC about Anthony Weiner, I briefly thought about having them make rollers that look like... well, you know.
Then I realized that customers of this product will want rollers that are more than two inches long.
5/4/2016, 8:41 pm
Kilroy
It seems like any safe space worth anything should have a soft blankie, maybe one with a solar heater.
5/4/2016, 9:07 pm
Ivan the Stakhanovets
Comrade,
Blankie is in barracks 4, not your turn yet, six more weeks.
Solar heater is called August. Also not your turn yet...
Back to beet fields.
5/4/2016, 9:37 pm
Kilroy
Oh no, I've had my turn in barracks 4. There are no blankies there.
If I didn't know better, and I do know better, I'd swear that you're withholding safe spaces from the most deserving. Namely me.
5/4/2016, 11:21 pm
Captain Craptek
Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:
Comrade,
Blankie is in barracks 4, not your turn yet, six more weeks.
Solar heater is called August. Also not your turn yet...
Back to beet fields.
How come you posted a picture of our summer camp?
5/5/2016, 2:12 am
Comrade Stierlitz
Captain Craptek wrote:Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:
Comrade,
Blankie is in barracks 4, not your turn yet, six more weeks.
Solar heater is called August. Also not your turn yet...
Back to beet fields.
How come you posted a picture of our summer camp?
Why you not believe it summer? Is always summer in our Glorious Sunny Kollektive! Everything warm: warm people, warm government, warm ovens... Is so warm that people come here for vacation and wear black and white stripes to imitate Zebra that live in hot African climate! The only thing that not warm is dissenters like you! I don't denounce you this time, but watch out for Stasi in future.
5/5/2016, 9:02 am
Ivan the Stakhanovets
The blankie is not in barracks 4? I'm shocked. Shocked I say.
Barracks 4 did win the volleyball tournament and got the kollective's blankie for two full weeks as a prize.
Perhaps it was purchased by another barracks or administrator with ration cards? There is no monetary reason that the blankie cannot be returned to its proper place.
I'm sure it will turn up as soon as I get another weeks's worth of vodka anytime now.
