5/6/2016, 1:14 pm
Archaeologists have discovered a previously unknown figure 100 feet long among the Nazca lines on an arid plateau in Peru that experts say may date back 2,000 years. Only visible from the air, the design was created by removing stones and piling them up, and is believed to represent an imaginary creature.
Greenpeace has vowed to demolish the ancient geoglyph as soon as it can mobilize the necessary resources and equipment.
“Have you looked at it? That thing is almost as asinine as the notion that climate can change due to natural causes,” said Greenpeace executive director Kumi Naidoo. “It looks like a child's scribbling that you wish you could rip down from your coworker's cubicle wall. Anyone who could appreciate that monstrosity is exactly the type of troglodyte who would deny the incontrovertible scientific evidence of an ongoing CO2-based catastrophe.”
“What is it supposed to be anyway, a comb trying to have sex with phlegm? It's a bigger blight on Mother Earth than an oil refinery,” he added.
Naidoo gave the remarks in Lima as part of a public apology for an earlier Greenpeace environmental protest at the UNESCO World Heritage Site that irreparably damaged a famous hummingbird geoglyph. “The hummingbird was dumb, too, but before we tore it up it was way better than the new crab/vacuum cleaner thing, so I'm sorry."
He concluded, "If we had known about this vile atrocity back then, we probably would have left the hummingbird alone.”
Greenpeace has vowed to demolish the ancient geoglyph as soon as it can mobilize the necessary resources and equipment.
“Have you looked at it? That thing is almost as asinine as the notion that climate can change due to natural causes,” said Greenpeace executive director Kumi Naidoo. “It looks like a child's scribbling that you wish you could rip down from your coworker's cubicle wall. Anyone who could appreciate that monstrosity is exactly the type of troglodyte who would deny the incontrovertible scientific evidence of an ongoing CO2-based catastrophe.”
“What is it supposed to be anyway, a comb trying to have sex with phlegm? It's a bigger blight on Mother Earth than an oil refinery,” he added.
Naidoo gave the remarks in Lima as part of a public apology for an earlier Greenpeace environmental protest at the UNESCO World Heritage Site that irreparably damaged a famous hummingbird geoglyph. “The hummingbird was dumb, too, but before we tore it up it was way better than the new crab/vacuum cleaner thing, so I'm sorry."
He concluded, "If we had known about this vile atrocity back then, we probably would have left the hummingbird alone.”

