The People's Cube - Political Satire

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The climate is real and its existence is historically unprecedented. This much we know. The science is settled. The debate is over. The inconvenient truth has been transmitted to the workers, peasants, and toiling climate scientists. The Nobel-Prize-laureled PowerPoint presentation has been presented to the unwashed NGOs.

This is your revolution, America - your climate moment. President Obama, our Glorious Thought Leader of Humanity, was the first to unmask climate as humanity's worst archnemesis of the day. United in their resolve, the unwashed masses of the world are marching in lockstep against the upcoming climatic pandemonium and in solidarity with climate science.

And yet, enemies of the people, a tightly-knit clique of climate deniers and saboteurs, united in their hatred of international workers and peasants, continue to cling to fossil pollution out of petty greed, monstrous chutzpah, and carbon profit.

As expected, a score of fearless Attorneys General spoke truth to that wannabe power; seven days later a dozen staunch senators took it upon themselves to muck out that Augean stable.

Heading that Climate Squad, Senator Wheldon Shitehouse declared, "Since the final stern warning in 2007 - the seminal AR4 of IPCC - things have gotten worse. The rise of the oceans began to speed up and our planet began to crack. And yet, despite the unfolding catastrophe, the Hydra of denial that lives in the murky swamp of pseudo-science, is raising its ugly heads and laughs."

He added, "We can no longer sit back and allow denialist infiltration, indoctrination, and subversion. We can't allow the international denialist conspiracy to trap and acidify all of our precious bumpily climate."

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And then he announced CCCP, the Climatic Correction Camp Project.

GOAL: To provide a rugged service to the denialist community by offering all them a chance to learn reality in a changed climate, to heal their mental confusion, and to finally bring them back to the collective of productive workers and peasants.

LOCATION: Alaska (the Umiat area) was chosen for its unique nature and climate characteristics. Serene remoteness of the place and dramatic contrasts of Alaskan climate changes guarantee an honest encounter with nature.

The CCCP facility will have strict rules :

ENERGY SOURCE: Direct personal work of the participants (think of tread-operated apparata) will be the sole source of energy within the Subordinate Area. This will finally lead to acceptance of solar and wind as the proper energy future. Once this understanding is heartily embraced, the re-educated collective will be permitted to build suitable apparata (based on CCCP blueprints).

FOOD: Hot topic, of course. The general orientation of the government-provided nutrition - spirit and flavor of "cuisine du Umiat" - has been described as "strict tundra-vegan."

RE-EDUCATION: A great stress will be put on "direct contact with nature," "robust personal experience," "purposefully directed expansion of cognitive horizons," and "firm stabilization of newly reached insights."

STAFF: Senator Shitehouse strives the position of Oberkapo (OK), meaning camp commander. He will not reside in Facility Barracks. In our time of light-speed communication, OK Shitehouse will conduct his public service via Gov-Intranet, from his office in DC, surrounded by his staff of four score (and seven transgendered).

I'll never, never, ever forget the speech GTLH (glorious thought leader of humanity) gave!

"Ehf..ehf..ehf..ehf..ehffff..ehf..ehffff, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if we, if we, we, we, we, weee, weee, weeeee, efefef, fa, fa, fall, for you know...a bunch of..of..of..of..of..of..of...Okie Doke."

Damn those Okies!

Who do they think they are, taking jobs from our visitors from south of the border who come to do the jobs that Amerikkkans won't do as an act of love...

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:.

He added : "We can no longer sit back and allow Denialist infiltration, Denialist indoctrination, Denialist subversion and the international Denialist conspiracy to trap and acidify all of our precious bumpily climate." (here)

Comrade Dummkopf - I sometimes find your posts so densely korrect, so supremely equal that I have no idea what the hell you're talking about. However, I needed no link to understand the source of that pearl...the greatest depiction of the screen in the history of depictions!

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:.

...to the right : the planned Umiat Area Facility Administration Complex

Now I feel as if I have been touched by the glorious Supreme Soviet itself! I am ashamed to admit that I just learned of the "Palace of the Soviets" two days ago when researching an article on Soviet Science Fiction of the 1930's (yes, there was some). That such a monstrosity supreme statement of Communist superiority as the true reservoir of human progress was stopped in mid-construction by the Nazi's and their annoying invasion of the mother country is a tragedy beyond measure.

Spasbos for the insight!

- SK

Chief Designer wrote:[...] that pearl...

Esteemed Comrade Korolyov,
(I candidly hope you grant me forgiveness for addressing you that directly)

it's my flaming belief that (near) anybody between the Atlantic and Pacific knows that pearl... _ by heart. For Generation Snowflake, me not so sure... (and the "here" link is, of course, just for shournalistik kompleteness).

While at that — the I can no longer... seems on the path to become a recurring motif here on The Kube. In case you missed it, allow me to suggest a peek into this kubicle. (it also has that dude―whaddya―talkin'―'bout dummkopfy-dense-quality™!)

Chief Designer wrote:... learned of the "Palace of the Soviets" [just] two days ago ...

Two days or two decades — what difference, at this point, does it make ?

Chief thing, you are on the right left side of Supremely Superior Architecture — eyes bulging and hair standing on end. Now, you being an avid (however freshmanly) enthusiast of the Palace of the Soviets, I most sincerely recommend you to have a peek into this and this — both strictly devoted to the glorious Palazzo. And dummkopfy-dense-quality™ guaranteed !


LET'S KEEP VIBRATING ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH, SYERGYEY ! _(a.k.a. SERGEY)

WU

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Sen. Whitehouse's buffoonery (formally here) is likely nothing more than (just yet another) calculated election year distraction. And yet, its totalitarian stench is odious - an attempt to gag opinion, in this case opinion not conform with Climate Truth™.

The Heroic Climelection Fighter Gang got of course a formal rejection.

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:.


Sen. Whitehouse's buffoonery (formally here) is likely nothing more than (just yet another) calculated election year distraction. And yet, its totalitarian stench is odious - an attempt to gag opinion, in this case opinion not conform with Climate Truth™.

The Heroic Climelection Fighter Gang got of course a formal rejection.

Comrade Dummkopf,

Senator Shitehouse(sp?) is formally known by his admirers here in the Northeast as The Great Northern Eco-Loon.

*(sp?) Shithouse

Genosse Dummkopf wrote: (I candidly hope you grant me forgiveness for addressing you that directly)

Need you even ask, Comrade? We are all quite equal here, although I do not feel as equal as others yet when addressing this esteemed audience.

Genosse Dummkopf wrote: Chief thing, you are on the right left side of Supremely Superior Architecture — eyes bulging and hair standing on end. Now, you being an avid (however freshmanly) enthusiast of the Palace of the Soviets, I most sincerely recommend you to have a peek into this and this — both strictly devoted to the glorious Palazzo.

mein Gott, Herr Dummkopf! What a supremely dense indoctrination! I will have to cite you as a source in my article (for real, if you'd like).

Genosse Dummkopf wrote: LET'S KEEP VIBRATING ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH, SYERGYEY ! _(a.k.a. SERGEY)

мое удовольствие, г-н Dummkopf!

- SK

Chief Designer wrote:... mein Gott, Herr Dummkopf! ... I will have to cite you as a source in my article (for real, if you'd like).

By Marx, Comrade Korolyov — use the Palazzo-stuff according to your needs, so that your readers are pleased according to their ability. Once stored in Kube, each bit belongs to the Kollektive — and so you cite TPC as source, The People's Cube.

Should you dialectically discern a need for pointing to Genosse D (which is German for Comrade D), carry on. If you marxistically feel (after all, we live in an era of feeling, don't we?) like mentioning Dummkopf, just proceed.

In case you trigger thereby some snowflake who can't tell dummkopf from shveinhund from haihitla, then, well, deal with it. If another tinfoil hat carrier detects a path from dummkopf to dum-dum, and next your door is kicked in by ATF+EPA+IRS, combined, then, uff... I told you so.

Anyway, abstain from referring WU (which stands for Walter Ulbricht, much like SK stands for Syergyey Korolyov (<serious>a highly respected man</serious>), korrekt?).

but, but, but — the essence : when your article goes public, you let the Kube know, ah ?