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4/8/2008, 8:58 pm
Superkommissar Maksim
TO: The U.S.of KKKA.
FR: Obama Campaign
RE: Offensive and racially divisive words
DA: April 08, 2008
An Illinois delegate for Sen. Barack Obama resigned after using the word "monkeys" to describe black children playing in a tree.
Linda Ramirez-Sliwinski, a trustee in the Chicago suburb of Carpentersville, was issued a $75 ticket for disorderly conduct after neighbors complained to police. She says the word wasn't meant racially and she will fight the ticket.
To avoid future problems of this nature, we have compiled a list of new words that are deemed offensive if used by non-blacks when communicating with a black person.
Monkey
example: Get out of that tree you monkey.
Monkey Bump
example: Who gave you that big ass monkey bump?
Monkey Bars
example: Are those your children playing on the monkey bars?
Monkey Business
example: While I'm gone I don't want any monkey business going on here.
Monkey Wrench
example: Hey neighbor, can I borrow your monkey wrench?
Articulate
example: I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy.
Hussein
example: I'm voting for Barack Hussein Obama.
* * *
Because "you people" are racist fools by nature, this list will need updating regularly.
4/8/2008, 9:27 pm
Commissarka Pinkie
No more monkeying around? No wild monkey sex? What about monkey see monkey do?
Does this also mean the end of The Monkees?
What about the whole evolution thing, and Planet of the Apes?
We need to come up with a replacement animal. How do you feel about raccoons squirrels?
4/8/2008, 11:13 pm
Sea-Bass
Where's the nearest Kentucky Fried Chicken???
4/8/2008, 11:53 pm
Red Square
Commissarka Pinkie wrote:We need to come up with a replacement animal. How do you feel about raccoons squirrels?

4/9/2008, 12:19 am
Mikhail T. Kalashnikov
I guess this one is out then...
.
"Monkey Steals The Peach"
-Mikhail
4/9/2008, 1:21 am
Premier Betty
I don't want to know what he plans on doing with that "peach" when he's done.
"Grab, twist, pull!"
4/9/2008, 9:46 am
Commissar L.R. Star
Mikhail T. Kalashnikov wrote:I guess this one is out then...
.
"Monkey Steals The Peach"
-Mikhail
That my Comrades was a MONKEY JOKE !!
4/9/2008, 3:19 pm
Commissarka Pinkie
Obviously it must be changed to something along the lines of, "The squirrel grabs the nuts."
The trick is to do it without shaking the tree branch.
4/9/2008, 6:52 pm
Chairman M. S. Punchenko
Monkey = Macaca. Remember that, Comrades! REMEMBER THE MACACA!
We will never forget the Macaca!
4/10/2008, 1:49 am
Premier Betty
What's a Macaca?
4/10/2008, 10:22 am
Lenin 'n' Things
Premier Betty wrote:What's a Macaca?
Ummm....let me take a shot at this;
I will use it in a sentence: If I think I'm better than you,I think macaca don't stink.

4/10/2008, 10:32 am
Commissar L.R. Star
Hmmm, well if yocaca dont stink then Obamacaca is PURE GOLD!!
4/10/2008, 5:21 pm
Comrade Hasan
From now on party member will only be allowed to refer to monkey's, simians, and other hominids is when they are preaching about the virtues of Darwinism and gorilla grip glue.
4/11/2008, 7:44 am
Obama
Must you axe?
Since "you typical white people" have, I want this added:
And food items too!
Add this to the list:

4/12/2008, 12:43 am
Lenin 'n' Things
LoneRedStar wrote:Hmmm, well if yocaca dont stink then Obamacaca is PURE GOLD!!
Really,macaca stink just like everybodycaca.We all equal in the cacadepartment,'cept Obamacaca.
Obamacaca IS pure gold,and it gonna get us outa da recession.Obamacaca gonna bring back da prosperity.
Obamacaca '08!!
4/12/2008, 12:47 am
Lenin 'n' Things
Almost forgot,I have a cat named Monkey.Must I re-name my cat?
If I must,please advise on better name.

4/12/2008, 4:53 pm
Commissarka Pinkie
That reminds me, I think it's racist that black cats are considered bad luck.
I say we replace them with bush babies.
4/12/2008, 7:14 pm
Lenin 'n' Things
Commissarka Pinkie wrote:That reminds me, I think it's racist that black cats are considered bad luck.
I say we replace them with bush babies.
My cat named Monkey,is black.She's always being discriminated against
by my white cat named Honky. Actually,we call him(Honky) our little terrorist,
'cause he puts a fatwa on Monkey all the time.He's naughty.But what do you expect from a typical white cat? Racism will out.

4/13/2008, 1:49 am
Premier Betty
Anyone been reading Pearls before Swine lately? The Zebra's cat got caught selling nuclear weapons to the Syrians and was hiding Osama inside his cathouse. I love that comic.
4/13/2008, 3:06 am
Father Prog Theocritus
Comrades, do you not see the seriousness of it? Recall Eden Jacobowitz, who was studying at Penn while five women from a black sorority were partying below his window. Since he was not studying Marx, what he was studying was immaterial.
He shouted down to them, "Shut up, you water buffalo. If you want to party, go to the zoo!" The sisters reported him for harassment.
He was obviously guilty, of course--regardless of what the provocation, he was male and white and they were neither so he was guilty.
So we must add "water buffalo" or even "you look nice today" unless it is followed by, "and I mean that in the most sexually and physically unthreatening way possible with all possible respect to your personhood and selfhood and right of determinationhood and all the other hoods which you may have in your hood."
4/13/2008, 8:24 pm
Red Square
4/13/2008, 10:40 pm
Father Prog Theocritus
Yes he can!