The People's Cube - Political Satire

[img]/images/Breitbart_Kelloggs_Dump_Finger.jpg[/img]

#DumpKelloggs: Breakfast Brand Blacklists Breitbart, Declares Hate for 45,000,000 Readers

Kellogg Co. announced on Tuesday its decision to pull ads from conservative media giant Breitbart.com because its 45,000,000 monthly conservative readers are not “aligned with our values as a company.” In response, Breitbart News, one of the world's top news publishers, has launched a #DumpKelloggs petition and called for a boycott of the ubiquitous food manufacturer.

The hashtag #DumpKelloggs has been trending all day today on Twitter, and is still trending at the very top. By the market closing, Kellogg's stock dropped by 2.20% and will probably continue to drop tomorrow.


We made our own contribution with the poster above. Please share and abstain from buying Kellogg's until they issue a public apology, reverse their asinine decision, and/or fire KRIS CHARLES and anyone else responsible for this decision (whichever comes first).

By our one-time frequent contributor, Mr. Snuggle Bunny.

This isn't cereal, but still relevant.

[OFF]

I accidentally moused over the "langauge" drop down on the Kelloggs website. Never before in my life have I seen the option "United States - Espanol". I've seen "Espanol" countless times, but never that.

I'd never buy their cereal. I hate all cereal, but even if I liked it, I'd never buy it. The box is more nutritious than what's inside.

.
.

[img]/images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]
Just sent them this. It shouldn't be only lefties and rent-a-protesters who can complain about something, right?

To: Kellogs company

To whom it may concern,

As a reader of the online publication "Breitbart.com" I feel insulted by your company's decision to refuse advertising on this website because it "does not align with your values as a company".

I was a big fan of your cereals, but I did not know the money was used to publicly insult a large group of your customers (including me) implying that I do "not align with your values".

First of all: what "values" are you referring to? It is not because some left-wing pressure groups insist that all other opinions than their own are "racist", that this is the truth. I read Breitbart and feel that I "align" with most people in society and their values pretty well, I am not a racist nor a fascist nor a totalitarian communist or whatever it is your management is referring to.

Secondly: I find it improper for a food company to start acting as a political entity. Your job in this society is to produce high quality cereals, not lecture me on your board of executives' political opinions.

As it stands now, you lost me as a customer, and I will gladly start buying imitation products and other brands' cereals. That is, until your company apologises for this outrage.

Kind regards

And the pistol is there in case anyone tries to take any of our bacon.

* * *

It was worth staying up late last night, playing the hashtag game on Twitter. Our Tweets wound up winning the race, taking top spots on both #DumpKellog and #BreitbartCereals hashtags with hundreds of likes and retweets.

Yes, after Breitbart readers went to bed (most of them have jobs and have to wake up early), the #DumpKellog trend went down in the charts, replaced by #BreitbartCereals started by progs who were just waking up. So we had to stay up and catch up. See the embedded Tweets below.

And then this.

And yes, Kellogg's stock continues to drop.

See Kellogg's stock live updates on Google.

Fhalkyn wrote:

Red Square wrote:

1. That should be dark coffee, not tea.
2. The gun should be angled outward for a quicker grab.
3. Too much toast and eggs.
4. Not nearly enough bacon.

[/quote]

[OFF]

1. It looks like coffee with creamer.
2. I like to think that that's the gun of the guy next to him.
3. Not enough toast, too many eggs (preferred amount would be zero).
4. Too much bacon. You can't shoot an intruder with your gun if you have a heart attack from all that salt!

5. The lack of pancakes with butter and genuine American maple syrup (not that Canadian swill) is just plain un-American.

To the NSA Agents monitoring this site:

the handgun in the above images is not in the possession of Oleg "Stickers" Atbashian, charged with a Class 6 Felony, as possession of a firearm by felons is illegal.

Mr. Atbashian is a good citizen awaiting exoneration by the courts, and recently sold his guns in a legal transaction behind the bus station to a dark-skinned fellow wearing an Obama t-shirt. The customer, a Mr. "Supa-thug" (the only name he provided) paid in cash, and left in a hurry before his receipt could be filled out properly.

Mr. Atbashian has graciously donated the proceeds of his firearms sale to the Stakhanovets Group, a non-profit organization researching the effects of ethanol and pornography on tractor repairmen. nothing to see here. move along.

We now return to our regularly scheduled commentary and political satire.

To the NSA agents monitoring us: do you guys know where I left the spare keys to the garage? Can't find them, and the missus is starting to nag. Also: the fat agent in de van across the street is eating way too much donuts.

To the NSA Agents monitoring us: I don't know which camera feed you had on at the time, but just in case it was the one in the bathroom instead of one of the three in the study, that burst of laughter you just heard was me reading Minitrue's last post above.

.
To the NSA Agents monitoring this site:

Mr. Stakhanovets, khi vyery good man iz. Always khi make 350% norm! Vyery Global Warmnig khi iz too. When tractorist in Barn #2 make many CO2. Then Mr. Stakhanovets give free ride to tractorist. Free ride, a beeline for Kolyma. And when tractor porn, then Mr. Stakhanovets vyery good man iz also. When Agents not have file, Agents see here. Now having said all this, why aren't I 50 points ahead of norm, you might ask. This good question iz, and I now go to field, make norm.

Mr. Minitrue, see, you really need to help him with those garage keys. Otherwise, when he (and his missus) are finally forced to leave the capital of EUSSR (fleeing infidel-pogroms lead by People of Peace), instead of simply driving his electric BMW i8, he (and missus) will need to paddle, paddle, paddle and paddle all the way to reach the Last Best Hope of Earth. So make him happy, just tell him the keys are in that box, under the hat, which is not on the hatpeg, but in the bathroom (under the tub, as always).

Now, Mr. Betinov (above) ‒ look, he is an innocent doppelganger of Prof. Hawking. All brain, wouldn't harm a fly. And never ‒ unlike Prof. H ‒ never ever does Mr. Betinov say things that seem, um, wisdom challenged. And laugh is not verboten, or is it? Messieurs Agents, make laugh, not fink.

Oh yep, and Mr. Craptek. You really really should savor his menu displayed above. Nutritious, OSHA conform, eco-friendly. Mr. Director of your Agency will be proud of you! (and stop munching away on those donuts, ja?)

Kellogg's cancels Tony The Tiger's contract over his endorsement of Donald Trump

[img]/images/Kellogg_Tony_Tiger_MAGA.jpg[/img]

Red Square wrote:

And the pistol is there in case anyone tries to take any of our bacon.

I've got a transmission from a most concerned kultured Yuropean ‒ as such, he is nearly vegan, err, anyway, he sympathizes with that Climate-preserving and Food-Justice-inducing faction of Community Organizing.

Forwarding the perfervid appeal of said Comrade, for the sake of Further Fruitful Cooperation in the spirit of Euro-Socialism and Amerikkkan Progress, I beg you to confirm : Comrade Director, tell us ‒ the Peace-loving Yurop ‒ in that picture of yours, it's just soya-"bacon" and a tofu-"gun", ja?


Note. There is, if any, only one way to raise the appeal of the scene: use украинское гончарство.

Ivan Betinov wrote:To the NSA Agents monitoring us: I don't know which camera feed you had on at the time, but just in case it was the one in the bathroom instead of one of the three in the study, that burst of laughter you just heard was me reading Minitrue's last post above.

Yeah, me too, Ivan. What a hoot! I signed the petition even though I don't eat their products. Why? Because I can!