Good news Comrades! For those who like to read long posts, this is ...
Minitrue's Wacky European Holiday special!
Sinterklaas is a racist
This night (the night of december the 5th) is a special one for all children in Belgium and the
Netherlands. This night, "Sinterklaas" (the ancestor of your "santa claus") will ride the rooftops to give presents and candy to the good kids, while his assistant Zwarte Piet ("Black Pete") helps him in this task - and also punishes the bad kids with a cane or by abducting them in his bag (yes yes, Europe is not for the faint hearted).
As a naive child I thought this traditional holiday was about children having fun and getting presents. How wrong could I be! I now understand this is an evil White Supremacist plot to insult and offend black people.
Protests
You see, some years ago, some people with African / Caribbean roots who emigrated to the Netherlands and Belgium complained about this tradition by sending letters to our comrades in the Human Rights Council of the United Nations. They felt offended because of the blackface appearance of "Zwarte Piet", and because it reminds them of black slavery.
The fact that the people living in Belgium and the Netherlands never had black slaves working the cotton fields is not the issue. The fact most children do not associate "Zwarte Piet" with black slaves, is not the issue. The issue is: a non-white person with non European ancestry has been offended.
Starting with comrade Verene Shepherd of the UN "Working Group of Experts on People of African Descent" (who merits a post of her own), report after report has been issued by the brave apparatchiks of this supranational organisation condemning these festivities. Needless to say, the offended activists have staged protests each year since, sometimes resulting in violence, to fight this evil white supremacist tradition.
The Kubist Response
But we Kubists can do better, comrades!
In a letter (see below) I have gathered evidence of other such racist traditions that need to be extinguished: folk dances from the the Peruvian and Bolivian Andes. After careful scrutiny by our Kubist Propaganda Department, and after green light by Dear Leader Red Square, I'm planning to send this letter to the UN (where it will be put in the memory hole of course, but nonetheless).
Your comrade, Minitrue
(now eating tons of traditional "Sinterklaas"
chocolate and "Spekuloos"- a sort of local gingerbread).
PS: Put your shoe in front of the fireplace tonight, maybe SinterMarx will bring you a food coupon!
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PPS: I'm actually fine with the proposed solution of changing the figure Zwarte Piet as a "blackface" to a "caucasian" figure that's black because of the soot in the chimneys he uses to enter homes.
I'm not fine with:
the UN telling my country what is racist and what is not
the UN wasting time on this while the rest of the world is burning
the UN saying ANYTHING while Saudi Arabia is on its human rights council
immigrants who choose to come live in my country, then try to change the way of life
the way these "social justice activists" organise these protests on a day of family festivities
these protestors forget the fact that almost every traditional song, dance or festival contains elements that can "offend" someone. We should be careful lest we turn the world in a "sterile safe space".
PPPS:The origin of the black skin color of Zwarte Piet is a matter of debate. Some say he's a foreign slave set free by Sinterklaas, who then became his friend and helper. Others say it's a reference to the "exotic" late medieval Spanish empire, that used black (or "moorish") slaves, or it's just a white guy covered in soot from the chimneys.
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FIRST DRAFT OF LETTER TO THE UN:
Mystery item No. 1
To the High Commissioner for Human Rights
Dear Comrade,
Our people's Collective wishes to congratulate you on your recent efforts concerning the "Sinterklaas feest" in the Netherlands and Belgium, in particular the figure "Zwarte Piet" (Black Pete). The "United Nations Committee on the Elimination of Racial Discrimination" urged the Dutch government to "actively promote the elimination of this racial stereotyping" (report of 28 August 2015).
This is a courageous step to end this despicable "children's holiday" once and for all. But it is not enough. We must go further in our efforts!
Luckily, our activist comrades have responded to the call by doing what they do best: protesting! Sadly, many of them were arrested during the "Sinterklaas Entry Parade" in cities
like Amsterdam and Rotterdam last november (for the third year in a row). This is a disgrace!
After all, the fact that the protests were prohibited by the mayors of the big cities and the fact that the parade was attended by thousands of families with young children, is no reason why our assertive comrades cannot shout political slogans, insult the police and even use violence when being arrested. Thank you, High Commissioner, for fanning the flames of the people's righteous struggle!
But this fight cannot be confined to the Netherlands and Belgium alone. Our second conference of the People's Workgroup of Anti Racial Stereotyping in the Developing World has discovered new examples of racial stereotyping (in the Andes no less!), and we wish you to examine them in order to extinguish these cultural abominations in the name of equality:
At the "Diablada Festival" held annually on the Altiplano in Bolivia and Peru, people dress as scary devils ("china supay").
One of the devils is a recurrent figure in Andean mythology: a blue eyed "conquistador" with a helmet. This is a reference to the often forgotten genocide and enslavement by the Spanish empire of the local populations in South America. By wearing these masks, however, they offend people in the present: these masks suggest that hispanics are "devils" that need to be appeased by ceremonial dancing. I have 1/16th Spanish ancestry, so I am 1/16th offended. We find it only reasonable that 1/16th of the GDP of Bolivia and Peru be transferred to the bank account of our Kubist collective (it can not be much, but still).
Another "devil figure" is the "moreno", a reference to the African slaves that worked the silver mines of Potosi. The "moreno" is a typical "blackface", with big red lips and curly hair. Surely, this is the Andean version of "Zwarte Piet"! This tradition must be terminated immediately. All Andean folk dances have to be prohibited, lest we be called "hypocrites" by the Dutch people who are now sacrificing their "Zwarte Piet" on the altar of social justice.
Once more, our congratulations. Our people's collective wishes to offer you our help in the relentless drive towards the extermination of all Western (and other) traditions. We know that the Human Rights of the toiling masses are in your good hands, now that Saudi Arabia, a model state for progress, human rights and gender equality has once more obtained a seat in your "Human Rights Council".
Yours truly,
Comrade Minitrue,
Assistant Vice-Commissar (ad interim)
of the European Chapter of the People's Cube
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12/6/2016, 11:46 pm
Genosse Dummkopf
A looooong post of such Progressivity goes smooooothly down, like a stakanchik of beet liquor after a day of hard toiling in the rocky fields of glorious Kube!
12/7/2016, 12:40 am
Genosse Dummkopf
.
Dear Assistant Vice-Commissar (ad interim) & Beloved Co-Comrade Minitrue,
to round up the sweetly acrid bouquet of this phrasing of yours :
wrote:This is a courageous step to end this despicable "children's holiday" once and for all.
it could be progressively advisable to append here sumptin* like :
wrote:And we do it for zhe Schildren.
Yet I see no explicit need to do so, as I'm confident that the High Assistant Deputies of Secondary Deputy Assistants of Third Tier Lieutenant Commissioners For and Of Whatever, they append such routinely, as a standard macro-module-insertion step within their Sublime Thought Mechanics.
* for you Southerners who may possibly feel here offended - even go down on your fainting couches - by this "appropriation" of southernness, let's reflect that it's just quasi-Ebonics, surely given full UN approval and assigned the Protective Status of Endangered Cultural Traits.
12/7/2016, 1:09 am
Genosse Dummkopf
Minitrue wrote:(now eating tons of traditional "Sinterklaas" chocolate...)
Only Party Approved snacks for me, Kamerad.
I'm looking forward to Red Glühwein for Marxmass!
12/7/2016, 3:34 am
Genosse Dummkopf
. .
12/7/2016, 7:11 am
Genosse Dummkopf
.
Ok Spain, your Queen might have a most delicious bootyliciousbootie, but NOW you will get it!
I denounce your mindless RRRAAAAAcism!
(zoom into RRRAAAAAcist details in their fully depraved glory here!)
Making "fun" of Black Mooslims, and even a Japonés!
Exposing them as servants, wildly rotating in space!
And glorifying Colonialists, in their militaristic attire! Even brutally beating innocent children!!!
5 minutes of that shameful exhibit of White Man's Decadence :
and add these 6 minutes of outrageous rabidity :
Shame! _Shame!! _Shame on you, España del Viejo Hombre Blanco!!!
P.S. Want more/details?
Primary keys are : San Fermin, San Fermin Txikito, Gigantes ‒ Kilikis ‒ Cabezudos ‒ Zaldikos.
You get really dizzy when thinking of all those layers of tradition, culture and history woven, via collective [sic!] memory, into such ‒ centuries old ‒ celebrations.
Mystery item No. 1
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