The People's Cube - Political Satire

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When a “Marxist” “collectivist” “worker-run” restaurant with no managers, a “living wage,” and a strong union opened in Grand Rapids, Michigan, no one suspected trouble. What could go wrong?

The first sign of trouble was a pile of unpaid bills. Nobody in the kollektive wanted to pay a single ruble to capitalist exploiters of the toiling masses. Then there were ridiculous taxes that for some reason took too much out of everyone's equal share. Finally, there was this stupid requirement to show up to work, let alone on time. And if you made the mistake of showing up, you were expected to do some work. Even worse, you were expected to make the hungry insolent idiots on the other side of the counter happy, otherwise they wouldn't give you your deserved money.

These were all stupid capitalist rules that no dignified human being should have to put up with. And they didn't. So the restaurant closed, unable to function in a ruthless capitalist environment which is based on a voluntary exchange of money. If only the money could be extracted from the customers by the socialist government by force, the Marxist diner in Grand Rapids, Michigan, would still be open today.

Down with capitalism, comrades!

Read the news report here:

Marxist Vegan Restaurant Closes After Customers No Longer Willing to Wait 40 Minutes for a Sandwich

But ... but ... they provided food and policies of "great acclaim" just as Workers' Paradise of Cuba provides health care and education of great acclaim. So why did all those capitalist parasites (aka customers) complain?

There's a shadow kollektive following us and discussing our posts on Facebook. This is a partial transcript:

• No comrade was hammed in the making of this sammich.
  
• They should have issued ration booklets to keep hopeful customers coming back for the off chance there would be tofu next Tuesday.
  
• They should have opened up a different store and sold elite "Commissar level" memberships that had set hours, no line and better food
  
• Ungrateful bourgeois do not understand the struggle. The ceaseless propaganda of Americanski Sitcoms...
  
• Wait! It's your turn to pay the sales taxes this month and you didn't! It's your fault.
  
• They did not use the Das Kapital One card. Shame on them. Neither did they fill out the correct paperwork from the government to get free money.

From the Twitter shadow kollektive:

.
c'mon... of course mass nutrition provided via kollektive waiters/waitresses does work under Marxism-Leninism. Certainly also the vegan variant. I haff visual proof!

(then again, I also haff real-life stories from my lil' handful of trips to/across Soviet Union...)
[ here Dummkopf self-muffles his inner Comrade, in Dr. Strangelove mode ]


and now visual proof :


The first one : by contemporary Valery Barykin (already known in Kube, and once upon a time shown in a bond with America).

The second one : an oldie of 1948 ‒ WE SERVE EVERY VISITOR CULTURALLY (= courteously + stylishly). Barykin referred to THAT "Kremlin Program" of yore.

Red Square wrote:There's a shadow kollektive [Facebook, Twitter] following us and discussing our posts ...

Those kollektives - they sit in GULAG or in Umiat, Alaska? or both?

... and those channels ‒ Facebook, Twitter ‒ they already Gubmint-Certified ?

(last time I checked, not yet.)
(Marx forbid, no complaint ‒ I know that Gubmint is toiling hard on many fronts.)

I wonder if they had this poster hanging over the counter:

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I suggest we repeat this experiment in ALL restaurants of the USA for the coming 90 years, mandatory of course. Only then will we be able to draw conclusions.

Oh, wait, we already tried that in Russia, didn't we?

What I was trying to say is: this is clearly sabotage by Capitalist asocial elements!

ya think they had wolf milk in this restaurant?

Minitrue wrote:ya think they had wolf milk in this restaurant?

wolfmilk.jpg

Golly, "Shoe and Shoe Lace" sounds great, but it's not listed in my TV Guide! Damn it!

Where the fare is fair with no fare for anybody

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:WE SERVE EVERY VISITOR CULTURALLY (= courteously + stylishly). ... (... I also haff real-life stories...)

Among Robert Heinlein's copious writings, there is a story of how he and his wife visited the USSR. INTURIST -- USSR's "tourist agency" monopoly catering to foreigners failed to deliver on its promises just as the rest of the country did.

The only way to get anything out of the INTURIST officials was to accuse them of acting "NEKULTURNO" (unculturally).

Capitalism wasn't the downfall of this restaurant, that's too convenient of an excuse to fall back on. No, it's that the government didn't force enough people to eat there. If you're going to live-test a Marxist collective restaurant theme, go all in comrades or you're just faking it.

also, Gubmint neglected to "invest" here. Despite there being shovel ready jobs jobs jobs.

This restaurant wasn't using any of the approved recipes demanded by our Supreme Leader's wife, Michelle Hussein Obamavitz. Had they been serving many of the delightful creations that our schoolchildren are eating for lunch, then there would have been throngs of diners clamoring for a plate. They wouldn't have let a little thing like customer service (or lack thereof) stand in the way of being dutiful progs and supporting Michelle's healthy eating initiative.

From day 1 that resturant was marxed for death it was only a matter of time. I'll bet the owner is so embarassed he might just karl into a hole and die.