The People's Cube - Political Satire

Poor Lena. She has never been able to get pregnant so that she can have an abortion.

Obviously, it's because the Russians have hacked her vagina, because EVERY young man in her orbit really, really wants to "do" her.

OK, just kidding about that last part. But that doesn't change the Underlying Truth.

Lena Dunham: I ‘HAVEN'T HAD AN ABORTION, BUT I WISH I could get HAD so that I could get one. But those mean boys won't even touch me'.

The current truth has changed. Throw all previous versions of this document in the memory hole. Being heterosexual and saying pussy is OK once more. Now it's not OK to be Russian.

Comrade:

Au contraire! The commissars tried to impregnate Miss Lena but were frustrated by a tempered steel chastity belt, with which she was born!

You heard it here first.

HB

Henny Bogan wrote:Comrade:

Au contraire! The commissars tried to impregnate Miss Lena but were frustrated by a tempered steel chastity belt, with which she was born!

You heard it here first.

HB

Oh, I am relieved to hear this. I had been told it was a bad-tempered steel chastity belt (it has teeth!). But I suppose either of these would be better than a distempered one.

In order to hack something, that something must:

1) Be available on the internet - check (she has posted pics of that thing everywhere)

2) Have an IP address - check (she pees, therefore she is)

Therefore I have concluded that the Russian hacking of her vajajay is deemed:

Major Ursa Vitnopants wrote:In order to hack something, that something must:

1) Be available on the internet - check (she has posted pics of that thing everywhere)

2) Have an IP address - check (she pees, therefore she is)

I didn't realize that, but a quick fact-checking shows that #1 is true. It's as if she's posting free ads that say "hack me" and yet I can't imagine there are many volunteers, unless they are paid in rubles to do this important job for the Motherland.

Comrade Reddist of all Squares - Couldn't just take my word for it could you? Just haaaaaaad to go look.

For the masses that went down that dank, musty rabbit-hole in order to fact-check my post:
It's a generous size for a reason.

Thank you, Major. My eyes have been washed and I can see again.

I propose that viewing this link be used as cruel and unusual punishment for especially offensive thoughtcrimes.

[img]/images/gloves_off_clockwork_moore.jpg[/img]

So, this opens a hack heck of a new, uh, spot for the (cyrillic) kiska, otherwise known - um, primarily - as kitty.

Silliness! You don't have to hack into anything as publicly accessible like that! It gets more traffic than Google Search.

I'll handle this -

Suicide Squad. Remember these heroes Comrades!!!

(Psssst - Bravest Captain of the Rodent Persuasion - Why are you doing this? Like Chernobyl one should simply evacuate, ignore and allow time enough to pass and it will go away on it's own )

I think she's kind of cute... right guys?


Found it here through google.

Major Ursa Vitnopants wrote:Suicide Squad. Remember these heroes Comrades!!!

(Psssst - Bravest Captain of the Rodent Persuasion - Why are you doing this? Like Chernobyl one should simply evacuate, ignore and allow time enough to pass and it will go away on it's own )

Comrade,

Evacuate, yes,.. but first a photo for the "Bureau of Historical Records". OK,.. RUN!

Through the monocle of FLTM (Forward-Looking Time Machine) :

February 14th, 2017 : courtroom, case "GMU vs. Atbashian". Unsurprisingly(?) : case closed, no charges.

Yet as admonition (.. for triggering a handful of snowflakes .. , says verdict), a symbolic sanction : 2 hours social-service work, to benefit Lena Dunham's TV show Girls 6.

Marx forbid, the judge didn't think of any shmutzy bizness, no, no - he meant like adding some nice gadget to scenography, or a visual ad, or maybe a logo?



P.S. The operating scheme of FLTM :