The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades!

It is I, Ted State, reporting to you from the Glorious People's Repbulik of Taxachusetts. I have often enjoyed your blog with my monthly ration of Vodka and I wish to become a part in something greater than myself, the socialist utopia that Lenin and Marx have promised the world.

In my first contribution to this glorious collective, I, your humble working party member, respectfully submit this enlightened summer reading selection for you from a fellow New England author, and fellow socialist Stephen King, about our Glorious comrade Kerry, who was the victim of the evil George Bush imperialist Diebold voting machines in 2004.

Like our all-knowing leader, Deval Patrick the Cadillac of Governorssays, "Together We Can." I guess that means if we don't read together we get sent to Iraq. Much more on Deval in a later post.....

Truer words were never spoken. The Inner Party can read and therefore the proles must go into the army to serve. Therefore any party member who does not read this must report to Venezuela for the insurrection.

Who is this John Kerry figure? Do you mean the cardboard cut out in the Supreme Senate, which replaced a MA senator who was purged in 2004?

Welcome Comrade Red State. It is clear indeed that the Progressive Force is strong in you. But rules are rules. Welcome to the Cube, you may collect your blunt shovel from the guard and get in the line to the left. You will be washed down in the People's Shower to rid your self of any "bugs" and ritual capitalist delousement. The bus will take you to the Karl Marx Re-Education Center where for those who survive, will begin to get in touch with their "Inner Comrade."

Given your post, I am reasonably certain that you shall pass the Boot Licking Camp with ease.



How To Get In Touch With Your InnerComrade

Get a firm grip of your proletarian shovel and make several slow,deep and heavy digs, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. Dig in peace and love for the common good until you start experiencing the people's pain, suffering, and hatred of the class enemy, its running dogs, and capitalism in general. Keep digging until the need for self-sacrifice overwhelms you. Breathe out selfishness,self-esteem, personal responsibility, and any thoughtcrimes that may have been haunting you. Allow shame, despair, guilt for your very existence, and blind faith in the Party doctrine to spread from the top of your head, all the way down to the tips of your fingers and toes,erasing every curvy line in your brain. This should take about five hours of uninterrupted self-criticism.

Once you feel totally guilty, worthless, and fearful, imagine yourself as a powerful Commissar in charge of purges, disappearances,and composting. Look into the piercing eyes of this Commissar and ask yourself these questions:

If you were a Commissar looking down at this worthless piece of crap with a shovel (you), what would you say to him/her/it?

- Will you be disgusted and feel an urge to squash this human stain for the common good?
- Will you denounce him/her/it as Enemy of the People?
- Will you want to promote him/her/it to the rank of your assistant in charge of composting Enemies of the People?
- Will you reward him/her/it with an extra rationing coupon?
- Or will you see something in those eyes that will turn your feet cold with fear and you will fall on your knees and announce the advent of the New Leader, Friend of People, and Father of Nations?

Once you know a clear answer to those questions, your self-criticism session is complete. You have discovered your InnerComrade™

LoneRedStar wrote: The Inner Party can read

And we must keep it that way. Fortunately the publik skools are doing their part....

That book confused me a lot. But I did feel a lot of sympathy for the Non-person mentioned in that book. If only I knew who he was....