Today I went to a grocery store that is known for delicious baked goods. I noticed at the bakery counter there was a box of cookies. It said children under 12 could take one cookie. What they did not specify was if this was the biological age or the age one feels they are. As we know, feelings trump biology. And of course if gender can be fluid, then people can feel they are different ages at different times.
I didn't ultimately do it, but I considered redistributing a cookie to myself. I planned on telling the poor prole forced to slave at the bakery counter (instead of just getting welfare) that I am trans age. I might biologically be much older than 12, but at the moment, I happened to feel I was a 10 or 11 year old so I could be entitled to a free cookie.
This was in the Great Collective of New York. I considered that if I got too much flak from this, I would tell the person they and their store are transphobic. Then I would file a civil commie rights complaint with the glorious People's Republic of New York. Naturally NYS would heavily fine the store and I would hopefully get a piece of it. Sort of like as a commission or finder's fee or something. It would be a lot of fun.
But alas it was not meant to be. I lost my nerve and didn't go through with it.
2/15/2017, 10:50 am
Ivan Betinov
You're only as young as you feel. This has been established Party Doctrine ever since Bill started taking Geritol.
2/15/2017, 8:29 pm
Warren Peas
Ivan Betinov wrote:You're only as young as you feel. This has been established Party Doctrine ever since Bill started taking Geritol.
I believe Mr. Bill believes in the philosophy of 'you're only as young as who you feel'
2/15/2017, 10:19 pm
Red Square
Another option is to visit the grocery while wearing a burka - you can claim any age or gender you want (and visit any bathroom you want, too) - a tip learned from long experience.
Once in a while you can come across a couple of nosy tourists from Idaho, then you're in trouble.
2/16/2017, 12:16 am
Red Square
Comrade Vlad Linen - you are quite adept at disguising yourself as a child, but I could still recognize you.
By the way, I didn't know you had children. The resemblance is uncanny.
Comrade Red Square, thank you for finding that most glorious long lost family photo of myself and my Minimes.
As to the burka, glorious idea! I could literally get away with anything wearing a burka. No need to try and explain trans age. If someone complained about what I do in a burka, it's hate speech and violates my rights as a persecuted member of a politically correct group at the top of the victimhood food chain. Naturally, we'd need a boycott of the store and a speech on the Senate floor from Tribal Princess Warren.
Hilarious video! I'm surprised our party hasn't deemed it offensive yet and demanded its removal.
