The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades! We have a dire situation here. There is an epidemic of leaders talking to Russians!

First there was Michael Flynn and we agitated enough to make him resign. Now there is <spit> Jeff Sessions! He talked to a group of ambassadors and one of those was a Russian! Jeff Sessions must go! We have petitions, our party is accepting donations, and we are demanding Sessions step down. Immediately!

Last year, Comrade Red Square, leader of this glorious gulag, took a trip to Russia. It is therefore impossible that Red Square avoided talking to Russians during the trip. So, if talking to Russians requires an immediate resignation from other officials, we must demand Red Square resign! Let's get MoveOn.org to do a fundraising email petition. Our party should do the same. If nothing else we can fundraise off the issue to get more beet vodka money.

Trump <spit> campaigned with Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin once said she could see Russia from her house in Alaska. So, can't we get Trump himself to resign because he campaigned with someone whose home is close enough to Russia to see it? Look at the terrible conflict of interest there, Comrades!

This is a dark time, Comrades. Russians are hacking everything. People are talking to Russians. This is scary! Now, it's okay to talk to Koreans, British, French, Hungarians, Egyptians, Indonesians, or pretty much anyone else. But talking to a Russian means you must resign!

It appears Commissars Schumer and Pelosi can have contact with Russians with no problem. But they are more equal than the rest of us.

The infiltration goes far deeper than comrade Red Square and The Peoples of the Cube. This evening while familiarizing myself with the real evil of the Russian infiltrators I watched the BBC America showing of From Russia with Love. You can only imagine my horror when I noticed that our own current Vice President has also moonlighted as a Russian hitman.

The depths of the Trump administrations ties to Russian leadership cannot be under reported.

I have no choice but to recuse myself from commenting on this thread while investigation continues.

I guess we'll know about President Trump's reaction to my recusal from his morning's tweets.

Facts! Red Square is Ukrainian. Red Square recently (within the past year) returned to his Homeland and "fell off the grid" for over a week. The chosen replacement and proxy for Dear Leader (PBUH) His O'Liness , our beloved Many Titted Empress was defeated (again) in the Massacre of 2016.

Where is the nexus? Where is the evidence? Where are the Trumped - up false accusations full of hate and racist rhetoric? Who even has the images or a prostitute or two wetting his bed?

Until I can manufacture locate those darned defensible accounting records for operation and rationing at Tractor Barn #2, I recuse myself from the impending impeachment show trial of Red Square.

This whole Russian shitshow the Dems are producing reminds me of the People's TV program, "Looking for Bigfoot". Each week, a new blurry photo, each week closer and closer. But, oddly, they can never find Mr. Bigfoot? Pourquoi? Could it be, perhaps, it's because he doesn't exist? Stay tuned for next week, we think we have (breathless anticipation here) an audio recording that might be BIGFOOT!!

Papa Kalashnikook wrote:This whole Russian shitshow the Dems are producing reminds me of the People's TV program, "Looking for Bigfoot". Each week, a new blurry photo, each week closer and closer. But, oddly, they can never find Mr. Bigfoot? Pourquoi? Could it be, perhaps, it's because he doesn't exist? Stay tuned for next week, we think we have (breathless anticipation here) an audio recording that might be BIGFOOT!!

Bigfoot does exist and has been tracked 2 miles from the White House where it disappeared into a bunker type hold up. I think you need to stay tuned in breathless anticipation for where it may pop up next.

Most Equal Komrads,

Please help out a simple fish.

I know we have always been at war with Eastasia. Isn't Russia, the Glorious Soviet Motherland, SUPPOSED to provide guidance and direction to the amateurish and buffoonic leaders (except for Dear Leader) of the USSA? How else will we find the promised Glorious World of Next Tuesday? Certainly not by following some deeply flawed document scribbled by old white slave holders.

Shouldn't we be congratulating the horribly misguided Trump <spit> for coming to his senses and consulting his betters?

Behind the Current Truth ™,

Red Salmon

Red Salmon wrote:Most Equal Komrads,

Please help out a simple fish.

I know we have always been at war with Eastasia. Isn't Russia, the Glorious Soviet Motherland, SUPPOSED to provide guidance and direction to the amateurish and buffoonic leaders (except for Dear Leader) of the USSA? How else will we find the promised Glorious World of Next Tuesday? Certainly not by following some deeply flawed document scribbled by old white slave holders.

Shouldn't we be congratulating the horribly misguided Trump <spit> for coming to his senses and consulting his betters?

Behind the Current Truth ™,

Red Salmon

Trump <spit> is a Rethuglikkkan <spit spit>, and furthermore he STOLE the election from The People's Candidate by sending haters into polling places and then brainwashing electors of the Electoral College into voting for him. Therefore, whatever he does is WRONG, even though it is korrekt for the korrekt people to do. Or, in short, what is right is wrong, and what is korrekt is left. Or something.

And I have heard that he has used Russian dressing and even cozied up to a Charlotte Russe on occasion.

Comrade Vlad Linen wrote:... Sarah Palin once said she could see Russia from her house in Alaska ...

holy moly, by Marx !
Not only can you see Russia from Alaska - Alaska was Russia, wasn't it ?

You see where that leads to ?

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Facts! Red Square is Ukrainian. ...

Comrades, I would never ever snitch on our Comrade Director.
But this has to be brought to public light.

Here - Red Square, his own words :



Ask yourself, Comrades :
How un-Progressive is this ???
And can you get more Russian than that ?????

Fhalkyn wrote:Now, hold on. We're not RethugliKKKans here. If there's going to be a show trial, we need to set up an appropriate venue. Or we can just skip the trial and go straight to the sentencing (and ignore such unprogressive notions as due process, fair hearing, and legal representation.)

Why don't we do it like the Dimocrats, make the accusation and then go right to the hanging?

No muss, no fuss.

Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:

Fhalkyn wrote:Now, hold on. We're not RethugliKKKans here. If there's going to be a show trial, we need to set up an appropriate venue. Or we can just skip the trial and go straight to the sentencing (and ignore such unprogressive notions as due process, fair hearing, and legal representation.)

Why don't we do it like the Dimocrats, make the accusation and then go right to the hanging?

No muss, no fuss.

No, no -- hang first, accusation afterward.

RedDiaperette wrote:

Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:

Fhalkyn wrote:Now, hold on. We're not RethugliKKKans here. If there's going to be a show trial, we need to set up an appropriate venue. Or we can just skip the trial and go straight to the sentencing (and ignore such unprogressive notions as due process, fair hearing, and legal representation.)

Why don't we do it like the Dimocrats, make the accusation and then go right to the hanging?

No muss, no fuss.

No, no -- hang first, accusation afterward.

If da noose fit, we won't acquit!

I have so much to confess, I don't even know where to begin. So you'll have to do your own research. May I recommend you a certain former agent of British intelligence whose opposition research has been found extremely effective.

If found guilty, I prefer the original revolutionary execution by guillotine. I can even bring my old one from home - it's well-used but still functional and does the job.

We can set the day as soon as I obtain the open carry permit for guillotines from the state of Florida.

Red Square wrote:If found guilty, I prefer the original revolutionary execution by guillotine. I can even bring my old one from home - it's well-used but still functional and does the job.

You think we will allot you the privilege of a quick and painless death? Your fascist self will be coated in bacon grease and then tossed into an arena full of starving pitbulls.

If you don't wish this to be your fate, I suggest that you disavow Russia and praise the USSA, which is the new force of World Kommunism throughout our dark capitalist world.

Also, Florida??? You should be in the People's Demokratik Republik of Kalifornia! Are you SERIOUS about world revolution or do you just wanna go to disneyworld and get fat and sick from cotton candy and rollercoasters while the rest of us do the real work of revolution?

Bacon grease? Pitbulls? Comrade Stierlitz! One can tell that the years you have served the Motherland in the West have spoiled you with bourgeois decadence. There are no such things in the Motherland!

What the Motherland does have is slave prison labor and I'll be only happy to serve as a selfless, nameless mote in the vast collective.



It'll be like the good old days in Siberia. I don't miss it, but the Party's wish is my command. Perhaps, with the help of a good video editor we can turn local CCTV footage into a reality show.



In the winter we can sit by the makeshift brick stove and exchange our life stories. Something like this:

INMATE #1: What are you here for, comrades?
INMATE #2: I told a joke that disparaged Comrade Red Square. And what about you?
INMATE #3: I told a joke that praised Comrade Red Square. And what about you?
INMATE #4: And I am Comrade Red Square.



And in the summer I can use the ashes from the stove to draw grayscale landscapes similar to this one that I did in Siberia when I lived there around 1984.

Red Square wrote:Bacon grease? Pitbulls? Comrade Stierlitz! One can tell that the years you have served the Motherland in the West have spoiled you with bourgeois decadence. There are no such things in the Motherland!
...

Yes, yes comrade, I was reminiscing. I was on assignment in Germania and had to get rid of a spy comrade who talked too much. I couldn't use my usual methods because he had countermeasures against them. So, I got him drunk to where he couldn't move or understand anything of what was going on, coated him in grease, and tossed him out the window into the alley full of dogs below. The police were called but it was too late.

We'll put a bedsheet on you, strap some bombs to you, superglue (or sew) your mouth shut, and have one of our Muslim comrades usher you around and hold the button to your bomb while constantly yelling "allhu akbar".

RedDiaperette wrote:

Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:

Fhalkyn wrote:Now, hold on. We're not RethugliKKKans here. If there's going to be a show trial, we need to set up an appropriate venue. Or we can just skip the trial and go straight to the sentencing (and ignore such unprogressive notions as due process, fair hearing, and legal representation.)

Why don't we do it like the Dimocrats, make the accusation and then go right to the hanging?

No muss, no fuss.

No, no -- hang first, accusation afterward.

Are you ACTUALLY SUGGESTING we execute people for what they may or may not have done like the dimocrats executed Obamacare??!! Where we have to execute first to find out what they did??!! Works for me.