United Airlines will not be beat, even if you take their seat.
Previously, airlines were required to pay passengers four times their ticket price if they were more than 4 hours late, but United now has a deal beater.
If they need a passenger's seat, they will simply beat them and drag them from the plane. This way, they keep costs low for the little people, while kicking the teeth in of uppity, fancy doctors.
United convincing a passenger to give up her seat.
4/10/2017, 9:50 pm
Evil Smiley
4/10/2017, 9:54 pm
Evil Smiley
Fight Club Class
4/10/2017, 9:56 pm
Evil Smiley
Helpful Tip From the United Airlines Employee manual:
4/10/2017, 10:03 pm
Evil Smiley
United Airlines Proudly Presents Its New Special Seating Division
. Ilaala al-harrakah illallah la illaha, al-harrakah wa boom!
Jobs, jobs, jobs!
Finally, secure postions for our more equally hot-blooded servants of RoP, the Religion of Peace!
Beat the shit out of bumped kuffar, drag 'em pigs in pieces out of flying carpet, and ka-booomm!
Brother Al-Dumko al-Almani
4/11/2017, 6:38 pm
Naglaya Morda
New slogans:
United in Fight ... I mean Flight!
Some airlines have jingles, but in United, we have a fight song!
Here at United, we truly don't judge by race. We can't even tell an Asian doctor from a jihadist.--United against Asian doctor tyranny!
4/11/2017, 6:40 pm
RedDiaperette
United CEO claims the passenger became unruly when told to get off the aircraft in order to make room for United employees. New motto now: When we fly, you must comply.
4/11/2017, 8:06 pm
Comrade Stierlitz
Evil Smiley wrote:
I've discovered some even earlier motion pictures of early United aircraft:
4/11/2017, 9:52 pm
Komissar al-Blogunov
Saw this online...
"The captain has just turned on the no passenger sign."
4/12/2017, 10:35 am
Evil Smiley
In other news, MGM Resorts International has begun a more strict enforcement of its no-pets policy following a hotel guest who brought a dog into their room.
MGM CEO, James Murren has stated clearly that no pets are allowed. Dogs are of special concern as they unnerve Muslim guests.
In the photograph below an MGM employee flings a dog - in clear violation of this policy - from the roof.
4/12/2017, 11:33 pm
El Presidente
Additional passenger footage from UNITED has been uncovered showing the other ticket holding passengers being asked to depart their paid for seats.
(and tomorrow 7:30 a.m. EST, FBI main entrance, toothpaste, toothbrush, underwear to change)
4/17/2017, 7:25 am
Hans Olo
Ah, even the glorious People's Cube joined in on the United Airlines memes. I've already seen enough of these on IFunny. Does anyone else use it? Could I post some stuff from the People's Cube on IFunny?
4/22/2017, 10:50 am
Evil Smiley
Now, American Airlines is also getting in on the act.
Not to be beat by United, they will now quiet ornery babies and their mothers and remove them from the plane so that other passengers may fly in peace.
