The People's Cube - Political Satire

Confused about which European candidates to support from this side of the pond? Well, clarity begins here with al-Blogunov's People's Patented Euro-candidate Filter™. You'll know in a jiffy whether you're cheering a good 'un or a bad 'un.

Just plug in your favorite candidate's views on major issues, and voila! the answer in milliseconds.

Does the candidate believe that his/her country should subjugate itself economically to a massive bureaucracy, and open its borders to huge numbers of violent, unvetted immigrants?

If yes, then your candidate is "reasonable."

Does the candidate believe that his/her country should have a degree of economic sovereignty, and that it should protect its citizens by carefully vetting immigrants?

If yes, then your candidate is an "extreme, right-wing Nazi."*
See how easy it is to use? Order now while supplies last, and get a free burka for that special someone**.
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*Please ignore the fact that "Nazi" stands for "national socialism."
**Offer oddly void in France if used for beachwear.

This product also synchs with The People's Current Truth App™!

Comrades,
There is no need to be confused, any socialist, communist, or Progressive will be just fine.

GC out

I do not worry my head (lobeless or otherwise) about such matters. I simply request one of the Party-issued pre-marked ballots and hold forth loudly on the matter accordingly. I have discovered that the louder one shouts, the less one has to worry about using actual words that make sense. (And a shouted meow is a fearful thing, God Lenin wot.)

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( WOLLT IHR . . . : if need be see explan-transl-ation )

Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:This product also synchs with The People's Current Truth App™!

A‒M‒A‒Z‒I‒N‒G!
Made in USA (Great Again!), designed for Frogeater polit-market, yet vorks tadellos für Chermani !

click-click, plim-plim ‒ jawohl, "reasonable" !
bonk-bonk, screeech ‒ himmelherrgott, volltreffer ! "Nazi-hater-schweinehund-&-RRRAAAAAcist" !

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:

Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:This product also synchs with The People's Current Truth App™!

A‒M‒A‒Z‒I‒N‒G!
Made in USA (Great Again!), designed for Frogeater polit-market, yet vorks tadellos für Chermani !

click-click, plim-plim ‒ jawohl, "reasonable" !
bonk-bonk, screeech ‒ himmelherrgott, volltreffer ! "Nazi-hater-schweinehund-&-RRRAAAAAcist" !

This is exactly what I said during the final phase of my last Jiffy-Lobo. Most equal Komrade Dummkopf, most equal indeed.

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Genosse Dummkopf wrote:

Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:This product also synchs with The People's Current Truth App™!

A‒M‒A‒Z‒I‒N‒G!
Made in USA (Great Again!), designed for Frogeater polit-market, yet vorks tadellos für Chermani !

click-click, plim-plim ‒ jawohl, "reasonable" !
bonk-bonk, screeech ‒ himmelherrgott, volltreffer ! "Nazi-hater-schweinehund-&-RRRAAAAAcist" !

What are you talking about? It was made it a sweatshop independent start-up in Vietnam. Give them 5 stars on the Apple store and they will allow you to use the extension for Chinese candidates!

Order your Macron t-shirt now. He's reasonable!

This is as inspiring as "I'm with Her!"

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So it must be true!

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This just in as the Cube keeps rolling along...

A resounding victory for Reason!

Congratulations Comrade Komissar!!!

With The Peoples Current Truth App^TM and the al-Blugunovs Peoples Patented Euro-Candidate Filter^TM proven to be widely adopted successes, you are to The Peoples' Phone Apps what Edison was for electricity (only without all the lies, deceit, manipulations and ultimate destruction of whoever the app version of Tesla may be)