The People's Cube - Political Satire

In the light of the Navy's latest PR disaster social justice campaign victory of naming a warship after an anti-gun spokesperson and victim, Gabrielle Gifford...

Should a liberal gun control activist have a Navy warship named after her?

... the People's Cube has learned that the USS Constitution (the oldest commissioned ship still in the fleet) will be renamed the USS Nancy Pelosi...

[img]/images/various_uploads/Pelosi_Hands.jpg[/img]

... who was working as a Congressional Intern and present at the ship's commissioning.

Additionally, the new Zumwalt series of destroyers, plagued with stability and reliability issues and an odd radar cross-section...


... will be renamed for Maxine Waters for obvious similarities. The next ship in this series will be named the USS Diane Feinstein.

The Navy has announced that this new class of ship and all current ships of the fleet will be repainted in the newest camouflage paint scheme named for Elizabeth Warren, as nobody will be able to tell exactly what they are looking at.

In other news, the battleship USS Iowa (the "Big Stick") is being pulled from museum status, recommissioned, and...


... once the offensive and phallic 16-inch guns are removed, it will be renamed the USS Caitlyn Jenner. "She" will have no specific mission in the future, but will ride the coat-tails of a glorious history.

You didn't mention the smoke signals to replace radio communications.

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:The Navy has announced that this new class of ship and all current ships of the fleet will be repainted in the newest camouflage paint scheme named for Elizabeth Warren, as nobody will be able to tell exactly what they are looking at.

A shorter way to say this is "war paint."

[img]/images/various_uploads/Elizabeth_Warren_Trump_Paleface.jpg[/img]

Comrade Director, communications security is not generally discussed in public, I trust you are discussing "public and open-source" documents in your comparisons.

Further investigation indicates that the Maxine Waters-class ship fleet was going to include the USS Hillary Clinton, (engineers couldn't make the stern broad enough), the USS Debbie Wasserman-Shultz (sold for scrap), and the USS Sheila Jackson-Lee (too many morale problems amongst the crew)...

By Stalin's trubka, Commander Ivan!
May I recommend Kampf-Uschi (aka Ursula von der Leyen ‒ vulgo UvdL ‒ currently RINO-Pink Bundesministerin der Verteidigung), for Chief of Glorious Pink-Naval Operations?



Ma'am Verteidigungsministerin achieved recently some West-wide fame, didn't she?
Heroically searching for and mercilessly purging atom-sized specks of (hallucinated) remainders of Hitlerism in Bundeswehr barracks.

That in addition to gloriously social-engineering the Bundeswehr into kinda "smart" peacekeeping lobby, preferably "soft" weaponized only. And equally/intersectionally gendered, of course.






(in fairness ‒ UvdL isn't a dumbo: Dr. med., clear-thinking, strong-minded, mother of seven)
(in the current super-RINO CDU ‒ gelded and prodded by Frau M ‒ UvdL is "just" strong-RINO)

<off>

Silly me...I thought the "USS Caitlyn Jenner" would have gotten more response. Oh well.

<on>...tractors to fix, beets need weeding, government forms to fill out...

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:<off>

Silly me...I thought the "USS Caitlyn Jenner" would have gotten more response. Oh well.

<on>...tractors to fix, beets need weeding, government forms to fill out...

...Well, you can always fall back on the USS Barack Obama, komrad Stakhaovets!

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:<off>

Silly me...I thought the "USS Caitlyn Jenner" would have gotten more response. Oh well.

Fear not, comrade Ivan. That portion of your post soiled my keyboard via the coffee-nasal route. The best part of the post, IMEaKO (my Equal and Korrect Opinion).

- SK

Chief Designer wrote:

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:<off>

Silly me...I thought the "USS Caitlyn Jenner" would have gotten more response. Oh well.

Fear not, comrade Ivan. That portion of your post soiled my keyboard via the coffee-nasal route. The best part of the post, IMEaKO (my Equal and Korrect Opinion).

- SK

Я тоже, но без ковфефе.

Komissar al-Blogunov wrote: Я тоже, но без ковфефе.

HA! I didn't even need to run that one through Google Translate

- SK

Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:... но без ковфефе.

uzhas! so even that shtick of The Orange One was - as we see - transmitted to him by Russkies!

Kommissar Uberdave wrote:... you can always fall back on the USS Barack Obama, komrad Stakhanovets!

<cit.>

wow!
Must be an advanced design ‒ fossil-powered plus opto-cryptographic communications!


Remember the austere 2008 series? :

Obama leads the charge in the War on Climate Change!

Chief Designer wrote:

Komissar al-Blogunov wrote: Я тоже, но без ковфефе.

HA! I didn't even need to run that one through Google Translate

- SK

Ура!

An update from our Duffel Blog comrades-in-arms.

Navy to christen USS Tig Ol Bitties after service allows people to vote online for ship's name

WASHINGTON – Heads are shaking while others cheer after a failed publicity stunt led to the Navy's next Zumwalt-class destroyer being named the USS Tig Ol Bitties, sources confirmed today.

The Navy earlier this year had allowed active duty Sailors and Marines to vote on the name for its new $4-billion dollar stealth attack ship, all in an effort to boost force morale and social media presence.

“I thought there was no way in hell any of the finalist names would fly,” said Marine Staff Sgt. Steve Kovacs, “But then I said, hell, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.”

Kovacs and many other Marines were hoping to clench the name USS Lord Mattis in honor of the Defense Secretary, but support for Tig Ol Bitties became overwhelming after the polling website was shared by service-members, civilians, and tweeted repeatedly by musician Kid Rock.