Wow, I just got this note from CNN in my email, on my phone, and in regular mail. It reads…
[img]/images/various_uploads/CNN_LOGO.png[/img]
“Hey, Blogunov, nice satire you got going on there. Gotta admit, it's funny stuff. But you know what? We at CNN just don't see it the same way you do. In fact, you seem to be spreading a negative view of our network and our friends at NYT and WaPo.
Here's a heads up, Blogunov. We know your real name. We know where you live. We know your other online identities.
Let me be plain, Blogunov. We want an apology. And we want you to pull all your negative comments, direct or implied, about us and our buddies in the news business. Do that, and we'll pretend nothing happened. I mean, if somebody “accidentally” leaked your address, you never know if a bunch of really angry antifas might show up at your house. That would be just awful, and we're trying to help you avoid all that unpleasantness. You see, we're not just concerned about you, but your family, too.
In the future, Bloggy, we recommend you just mind your own business and keep your trap shut. That would be the healthy choice.
Sincerely,
Your Friends at CNN”
This is really touching. Not only do they call me, little ol' me, their friend, they seem really concerned about me, my future, my family, and my well being. I really had no idea I was this big of a deal.
How about the rest of you, comrades? Anybody else get a similar note?
7/5/2017, 11:14 am
ThePeoplesComrade
I don't think this is a "very full-throated, genuine, honest apology". You had better try again Mister or CNN will publish your real name.
7/5/2017, 12:03 pm
Comrade Putout
. Bloggy™ - you'd better not show them this picture of you and President Trump greeting Rachel in Afghanistan! .
7/5/2017, 12:23 pm
Ivan the Stakhanovets
CNN sent that? It's real. Believe every word of it or accept the consequences. I didn't believe a story about climate change, and guess what? SUMMER. Don't ask questions, just comply.
7/5/2017, 2:38 pm
Red Square
An updated and improved CNN logo: The Cosa Nostra Network.
A (somewhat lewd) dramatization of what Trump is doing to CNN:
7/5/2017, 11:09 pm
ThePeoplesComrade
Journalism Today "The CNN Model"
Good news - CNN is finally standing up against that bully Trump. It's about time journalism returns to it's roots - bribery, extortion and blackmail.
7/5/2017, 11:45 pm
Imperatorskiy Pingvin
7/6/2017, 1:08 am
Imperatorskiy Pingvin
7/6/2017, 4:20 am
RedDiaperette
Papa Kalashnikook wrote:Komrades, let us hope that United Airlines and CNN don't collude on their customer service departments.
The Enlightened™ do not "collude." They cooperate, reach across the aisle, work together for a greater Next Tuesday, and lean forward (especially when one is behind the other). But they do not collude. Only the evil Deplorables collude. And we know where they live.
7/6/2017, 7:32 am
Papa Kalashnikook
RedDiaperette wrote:
Papa Kalashnikook wrote:Komrades, let us hope that United Airlines and CNN don't collude on their customer service departments.
The Enlightened™ do not "collude." They cooperate, reach across the aisle, work together for a greater Next Tuesday, and lean forward (especially when one is behind the other). But they do not collude. Only the evil Deplorables collude. And we know where they live.
Yes. A bitter lesson I am still learning as I sit here in this shithole lovely CNN Gulag Hotel on the outskirts of Pyongyang. They did at least give me the Otto Warmbier Suite.
7/6/2017, 9:33 am
Covfefe
This...
is See an End.
7/6/2017, 10:59 am
Komissar al-Blogunov
Clara Zetkin was the first to notice this, but at about the same time I got my note, an alligator just "happened" to show up at Red Square's dacha. Apparently there was a note that if he didn't knock off the political parody, he would have to "pay the alligator". This also coincides with the Cube being hacked.
Ordinarily, I'd be suspicious and wary, but then I realized this isn't a parody site, this is the nonpartisan People's Cube, America's most trusted and most equal news source. So, nothing to worry about after all.
7/6/2017, 3:19 pm
Comrade Putout
.
New CNN™ loading GIF - truth in advertising... .
7/6/2017, 4:28 pm
$.$. Halliburton
You all are being very disrespectful.
I'm telling.
7/6/2017, 11:25 pm
Red Square
WARNING: mature captions.
7/6/2017, 11:32 pm
Red Square
From a Facebook comrade:
7/7/2017, 10:05 am
Chairman Meow
Your memes have been spotted and duly reported!
7/7/2017, 8:49 pm
Komissar al-Blogunov
THIS is more like it. Reminds me of the good ol' days...
"