The People's Cube - Political Satire

Since the NFL doesn't seem to mind players expressing their political opinions while they have a captive, paying audience, we were wondering what else the NFL might do to negatively impact the fans' experience.

Here are a few of our thoughts. Leave yours in the comments.

• AARP-sponsored cheerleaders
  
• playing field vibrates and scores are determined when someone randomly skitters across the goal line with the ball. All done to to ACDC's “You Shook Me All Night Long”
  
• quinoa replaces meat products sold at concession stands
  
• games are canceled when actual snowflakes fall on the field
  
• each fan family is required to take home a multimillionaire player to continue the lectures re how unfair it is to live in the USA
  
• the 2-minute warning is replaced with the 2-minute nation admonishment
  
• lousy domestic swill beer is sold at $8 per warm plastic cup (oh sorry, already got that one)
  
• pre-chewed pretzels
  
• rubbery chicken tenders will actually be made of rubber
  
• three drink minimum
  
• the “Hail Mary” will be replaced with the “Allahu Akbar”
  
• “Wear Your Own Uniform” day. All black along with masks encouraged
  
• ISIS-sponsored giveaways include headless bobbleheads
  
• Festivus will be recognized as an official NFL holiday. Player introductions will include the airing of a grievance.
  
• concession stands all closed during political protests
  
• concession food containers will be limited to environmentally friendly banana leaves

More from Confederacy of Drones here.

Of course, with the "Allahu Akbar" option, all overtime games become Sudden Death playoffs....

What's next to screw up the NFL experience?

Rapper P. Diddy has an idea.

Rapper P. Diddy Says He Can Fix NFL, Just Get Rid of All the White People

At halftime, duo Shaun King & Rachel Dolezal performs the quartet of Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake. Clad in black, of course.

The oxymoron "quartet-by-duo" meant as a subtle innuendo to the equally oxymoronic "light-skinned-yet-black".

Adding oxymoronness, the perf is named "Swansong", oxymoronically alluding to FNL's (verbatim) Glorious Future.

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:At halftime, duo Shaun King & Rachel Dolezal performs the quartet of Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake. Clad in black, of course.

The oxymoron "quartet-by-duo" meant as a subtle innuendo to the equally oxymoronic "light-skinned-yet-black".

Adding oxymoronness, the perf is named "Swansong", oxymoronically alluding to FNL's (verbatim) Glorious Future.

The rap quartet-by-duo of Talcum-X and Ain't Jemima?

Kommissar Uberdave wrote:... The rap quartet-by-duo of Talcum-X and Ain't Jemima?

oh yessa massa Komrade!