The People's Cube - Political Satire

USA Today has done its progressive duty by releasing a video calculated to scare the unwashed masses with various dreadful modifications to AR-15 rifle, which included a chainsaw bayonet.



This sparked a lively discussion on Twitter, with over two thousand commenters asking where they could buy a chainsaw bayonet, or proposing other useful attachments, such as, a pencil sharpener, a pizzawheel, a banana named "apple," and Kevin Spacey's head for converting your firearm into a sexual assault rifle.

WATCH: 'USA Today' Warns People To Beware Of AR-15 Armed With Chainsaws

The only person wielding a chainsaw bayonet in our experience is Comrade Olga Photoshopova (left).

We'll be expecting her to share some useful techniques on operating it.

On our part, we propose this aftermarket modification:

And whad, no frontally mounted V-2 ? _Himmelherrgottdonnerwetterkreuzgewitterwolkenbruch !

USA Today left out bayonets even more dangerous than the chainsaw.


Other bayonet options

If the shooter had this barrel modification, he might have destroyed the whole planet!


And I cannot even imagine the mayhem this would have caused:

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:And whad, no frontally mounted V-2 ? _Himmelherrgottdonnerwetterkreuzgewitterwolkenbruch !

Comrade Dummkopf, you've mistakenly mentioned the Ultra-Top Secret Hipster Assault Force aka (F-Troop)


F-Troops Futuristic weapons

Fortunately, the Honorable Senator Chuck Schumer is on the case...

Posted without comment...

The deadliest attachment!

I like the weed whacker bayonet modification for around the yard but now I think I'll ask for the chainsaw bayonet for Christmas. It looks pretty handy.

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Both very handy in situations like e.g. here :

And of course Model Messiah:


In action (already seen here) :




plus more action (reuse) :

The chainsaw bayonet is the attachment of choice for assault rifles used by Man-bear-pig.

More AR15 possible modifications

Now that USA Today has become the official laughingstock extension to AR-15 rifle, our "laughingstock" image has gone viral and is making rounds on various blogs, including Power Line.

So it exists after all.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">When people ask me how I feel about gun control: <a href="https://t.co/lE8NalWQpP">pic.twitter.co ... </p>&mdash; Hotep Jesus (@HotepJesus) <a href=" 3, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>