Comrades,

I have in my possession the true, 100% legit, undoctored photograph of Al Franken that has recently been circulating thanks to one of my "contacts" behind a certain Minneapolis Denny's, a fact which is unimportant and you shouldn't explore any further. It clearly shows that all allegations of groping are true, but the target of the groping is no journalist.

As you may remember, the 2008 senate election which Franken won was quite the nailbiter, and if it weren't for ballots like these and a loyal legion of felons previously detained voters, we may never have had this man's words of wisdom grace the senate floor.

Hopefully now we can get back to presenting reliable and trustworthy sources in the face of sexual assault allegations.

We now have an open thread for Al Franken here:

Al Franken's sexual misconduct open thread

Please note:

The correct verbiage is "dindu-nuffin" as in

(Police officer) "Pardon me, young man, but it's 3 am, and the local retail stores have closed, may I ask where you purchased that unboxed television set?"

(Offended accused individual) "I dindu-nuffin! This is harassment, I gots rights!"

Get with the program.