The People's Cube - Political Satire

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Towson, MD - The Maryland-based power tool company DeWalt announced a new line of Colin Kaepernick Signature line kneepads today.

The new pads are intended for people who spend a lot of time on their knees and feature greatly increased padding made of a new type of synthetic foam that molds to the wearer's body.

In a press release, the company stated the new equipment was intended for "patriotic dissenters in the NFL, aspiring actresses, and full-time carpenters."

The latest product in DeWalt's "Signature Line" couldn't come at a better time for Kaepernick, who - despite winning several coveted awards lately - hasn't been able to land a position in the NFL as of this writing.

Panem Et Circenses wrote:Towson, MD - The Maryland-based power tool company DeWalt announced a new line of Colin Kaepernick Signature line knee pads today. Kaepernick, who - despite winning several coveted awards lately - hasn't been able to land a position in the NFL as of this writing.

Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy, IMHO.

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I have to admit, as one who never watches professional sports, I had no idea who Kaepernick even was before he started his shenanigans. I suppose I should be grateful for that.

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Foreward!

- SK

Chief Designer wrote:

Panem Et Circenses wrote:Kaepernick ... hasn't been able to land a position in the NFL as of this writing.

Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy, IMHO...

heh-heh, as they say, Ka(epernick)rma is a bitch.