The People's Cube - Political Satire

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While reactionary capitalist media is announcing that Fidel "Fidelito" Castro Díaz-Balart committed suicide, the socialist Current Truth™ is far superior.

Comrade Fidelito was not suffering from depression or feeling marginalized after the rise of his Uncle Raul. No, our dear Fidelito chose to redistribute his life force energy so that Cuba could lessen its dependence upon non-renewable resources.

Yes, my dear comrades. Suicide is the new clean energy. Remember, when you are tired of life (or the State has decided yours has gone on too long), you may now kill yourself for the Greater Good, and help prevent Global Climate Warming Change.

From each according to his ability, to each according to his need

Comrade Fidel fils had the ability to take his own life because he apparently didn't need it any more; it's perfect Communist Symmetry™.

The suicide rate voluntary life force redistribution in Cuba is among the highest most efficient in the Americas, according to a 2014 study by the Pan American Health Organization, a regional office of the World Health Organization.[

No doubt.

I am in awe of the superior workings of the Cuban way of life.

Revised and updated for the Greater Good(TM) by Colonel 7.62

Colonel 7.62 wrote:While reactionary capitalist media is announcing that Fidel “Fidelito” Castro Díaz-Balart committed suicide, the socialist Current Truth(TM) is far superior.

Comrade Fidelito was not suffering from depression or feeling marginalized after the rise of his Uncle Raul. No, our dear Fidelito chose to redistribute his life force energy so that Cuba could lessen it's dependence upon non-renewable resources. Yes my dear Comrades. Suicide is the new clean energy. Remember, when you are tired of life (or the State has decided yours has gone on too long), you may now kill yourself for the Greater Good, and help prevent Global Climate Warming Change.

Most exemplary equal insight, my dear Colonel 7.62! Wow! When I get older, I can't wait for the martyrdom I'll receive...for the common good. I am fully aware of the horrible footprint I will incur by being cremated but, um, what else can I do? The crematoriums are powered by the hideous coal, as are electric cars. Maybe they should just burn my remains on a wooden pyre. Yeah! That's the ticket! Just like India!

Too soon?

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As Commissar of Time, I can assure you, that heroic memes are never too soon or too late, but rather arrive at the ideal, Party Approved(TM) moment.

Meanwhile in Russia... Today's Komsomolskaya Pravda posted a glowing story about how much Fidelito was loved in the Russian city of Voronezh where he studied nuclear physics and married a beautiful blonde Natalia Smirnova (whom he later divorced).

They also profiled his three children (pictured below), all of whom are professors of physics and math, teaching in Spain (and one in Cuba). All three go as Castro-Smirnov, even though none of them speaks Russian.

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The son has joined the father at the great reunion in Hell's Meadow.

And lest we forget, Fidel's death was blamed on Trump's election results. About a year later, his son Fidelito kills himself right after Trump's State of the Union and one day before the release of the Nunes memo. Coincidence?

New York Times: Fidel Castro world's sexiest corpse

Pamalinsky wrote:I am fully aware of the horrible footprint I will incur by being cremated but, um, what else can I do? The crematoriums are powered by the hideous coal

Two words, Comrade:

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