The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades, this story will require you to put on your thinking doublethink caps.

The Koch-dominated media are spinning this as proof that all of our work here at the State Science Institute is a fraud. But like all Rethuglikkkan memos, their memo is leaving out some important details.

Here is what they aren't telling you: the islands are rising because they are floating higher in the oceans. They are floating higher because Global Warming has caused their base underneath them to melt away.

Soon, they will be top-heavy and will tip over, killing thousands millions of indigenous (read: brown) peoples.

And it's all George Bush Donald Trump's fault for pulling us out of the Paris Accord, which was well on its way to doing nothing so we can continue our fear campaign solving the crisis and ushering in the Glorious World of Next Tuesday.

Remember when the islands of Tuvalu were going to be inundated by sea level rise? Never mind

Mikhail Lysenkomann is correct…..

the islands are rising because they are floating higher in the oceans. They are floating higher because Global Warming has caused their base underneath them to melt away.

Comrades, since the dawn of time, philosophers, flatulent congressman, and the Nobel Prized “Goracle” have actually debated just when the exact moment an island rises, melts its base and floats higher in the ocean. However, today many unemployed climate scientists who no longer have federal grant money have determined that in the South China Sea, this growing phenomenon is actually taking place.

“The Great Wall of Sand” has been rising out of the sea and seems to be perplexing climate alarmists and disoriented state department officials in Washington. Once again it just shows you how Mother Gaia has floated another island and this time it seems to be complete with military bases, radar facilities as well as airfields.... all in the middle of a floating island.

This floating island has been estimated to have grown well over three kilometers long and would be capable of handling large aircraft, including long-range bombers and surveillance drones. The pictures below show the before and after.

Current inhabitants of Earth, {you too Ivan the S}

They tell me Tuvalu will have grown so massive by 2083 that the perturbations to Earth's orbit and axial stability will likely lead to loss of all life and eventual breakup of the planet! But it's no big deal cause we'll all have drowned by then anyway. Pass the chips...

CC

Komrades; Are we surprised? The success rate of alarmist climate warmers/coolers on global climate catastrophe over the last 50 years is 00.0000000% But still, we get this...

Captain Craptek wrote:Current inhabitants of Earth, {you too Ivan the S}...

I denounce the Peoples' Rodent for his exclusionary and marginalizing hate-speech.



So there.

I'll be in my safe space in Tractor Barn #2 if anyone has extra beet vodka to console me.

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Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:

Captain Craptek wrote:Current inhabitants of Earth, {you too Ivan the S}...

I denounce the Peoples' Rodent for his exclusionary and marginalizing hate-speech.



So there.

I'll be in my safe space in Tractor Barn #2 if anyone has extra beet vodka to console me.

I drank all the beet vodka. Sorry. But, pointed in your general direction, try some of this!

Take THAT!

But, but, what about the poor polar bear that now has a tropical isle to rest and relaxate upon? Cruel times we live in, cruel times.
https://www.fws.gov/home/feature/2008/p ... galone.jpg

Now, now, comrades. Stop contributing to global warming by liberally generating unnecessary greenhouse gases, and go back to the topic of raising awareness about how much we care about raising awareness about how much we care about raising awareness about how much we care.

Earth - this "Pale Blue Dot" - this "pixel" in the inky blackness of space - WHY can't we all work together to save it from the wrath of TRUMP? WHY? Answer me, damn it!

Comrade Craptek,

In the Glasnostical spirit of comradly comradeship, I wish to offer you this container of experimental "walnuts" from the People's orchards...



Bon Appetite!

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Ivan... listen to your Overly Attached Girlfriend!
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THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER - Just listen to this brilliant member of Congress: