The People's Cube - Political Satire

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The message of March For Our Lives National School Walkout is something our poor desperate children have been trying to voice for many years. Their young voices may not carry the weight of authority, of knowledge, or of years, for really who can deny they know only that which they have been taught and know not what they do not yet know. They are only children.

But, they do know one thing: public-school violence. Public schools have been causing violence for a long time. When people ask "What should I use for violence?" They inevitably say "I shall use the public school to commit violence." This use of public schools to commit violence is on the rise.

It is not the point of this article to come to terms with the reasons for public-school violence. We do know that there is violence in public schools. Lots of it. School-caused violence is the reality. From the terrible murders, the student-on-teacher violence, the gangs, the fights that turn into riots, the riots that turn into fights, on and on and on... Everyday. Public schools are causing violence.

The students have finally walked out of these dangerous places and said, no more public-school-caused violence. But they have no solution to ending violence caused by public schools.

Many say we should ban public schools. No public schools - no public-school-caused violence. There are many hurdles to this solution. The Public School Teachers Union is the largest lobby in the nation and many if not most of our lawmakers are in fear of this powerful unsavory lobby whose only purpose is to line their own pockets from the blood money they make by killing our children with their dangerous public-school product.

Public-school violence is a problem and we need to listen to our children. Public schools have been causing violence for too long. Generations of children have tearfully remained silent but longed for the day public schools were banned and they no longer had to be forced by law to put themselves into harm's way just to satisfy the fearful Teachers Union lobby who have held enormous unremitting ruthless power over our lawmakers for many decades.

The teachers unions hide behind slogans like "Schools don't kill - people kill." But as we've seen they are only out for themselves.

Their product, public schools, are the single most dangerous places in the nation. And this is inherently so by design.

The only common sense solution to public-school-caused violence is to BAN PUBLIC SCHOOLS.

Ergo est. As the sign says: "No public schools - no public-school violence."

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Professional educators have been begging us to ban high-capacity classrooms for years. Yet no one listened to their expert advice, and here we are…

If we ban public schools, then how are my kids supposed to eat? Where else can I send them for a free meal?

On the morning of the School Walkout we Tweeeted this -

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The Tweet quickly went viral. Many offended progs reported it to the Twitter management and we were suspended for 12 hours with the demand to delete this Tweet, which we did.

The official reason for the suspension was that we were encouraging unsafe behavior, like eating Tide Pods.

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Chris Loesch, Dana Loesch's husband, supported us with this Tweet -



And Michael Loftus also chimed in:



And Michael Waller...

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:If we ban public schools, then how are my kids supposed to eat? Where else can I send them for a free meal?

Listen to the children. They have an inner knowledge informed by their keen sensitivity to their bodies needs. The local hamburger joint is what they say.

It's all free to them. Or, your children might recommend the tried and true method of many youth at a restaurant: Eat it and beat it.

Above all, heed your children and you can't go wrong.

Comrades,

I call for mandatory background checks, psychiatric evaluations, 5 years of state approved conflict resolution training, and a 20 year waiting period for enrollment in any public school! There will be no exceptions!

C Craptek

Captain Craptek wrote:Comrades,

I call for mandatory background checks, psychiatric evaluations, 5 years of state approved conflict resolution training, and a 20 year waiting period for enrollment in any public school! There will be no exceptions!

C Craptek

But should we not begin instersectionality indoctrination awareness education and gender optionality training as early as possible? And thus should the child not be enrolled in public school immediately after birth? -- or, I should say, as soon as the birthing individual (we do not say "mother" any more) decides to confer human status on the emerging/emerged clump of cells?

RedDiaperette wrote:.. should say, as soon as the birthing individual (we do not say "mother" any more) decides to confer human status on the emerging/emerged clump of cells?

That works unless or until the misguided youth goes and self-identifies as oh, say, a squirrel...

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:

RedDiaperette wrote:.. should say, as soon as the birthing individual (we do not say "mother" any more) decides to confer human status on the emerging/emerged clump of cells?

That works unless or until the misguided youth goes and self-identifies as oh, say, a squirrel...

Well, well... up early are we? Did you drag your hung-over remains out from under the tractor this morning just to launch another personal assault on a defenseless rodent, or (more likely) were you still stumbling around the barn after last night's merriment with a half empty bottle of beet vodka in one hand and The People's™ cell phone in the other, thumbing out one of your tasteless insults before crawling back under the tractor and passing out? Hmmm?

RedDiaperette wrote: But should we not begin instersectionality indoctrination awareness education and gender optionality training as early as possible? And thus should the child not be enrolled in public school immediately after birth? -- or, I should say, as soon as the birthing individual (we do not say "mother" any more) decides to confer human status on the emerging/emerged clump of cells?

That reminded me of how in Jewish philosophy, a Jewish mother traditionally does not consider a fetus viable until he graduates from a law or medical school. [ RIMSHOT ]

Red Square wrote:

RedDiaperette wrote: But should we not begin instersectionality indoctrination awareness education and gender optionality training as early as possible? And thus should the child not be enrolled in public school immediately after birth? -- or, I should say, as soon as the birthing individual (we do not say "mother" any more) decides to confer human status on the emerging/emerged clump of cells?

That reminded me of how in Jewish philosophy, a Jewish mother traditionally does not consider a fetus viable until he it graduates from a law or medical school. [ RIMSHOT ]

Who tampered with The Direktor's text? Was that you, Ivan? No matter - I undid the vandal's handiwork.

C Craptek

Me edit the Director? Never! That's as bright as openly discussing Commisarka Pinkies recent weight gains (if one were to notice such a thing, should it actually happen), or asking which church group social that Comrade Putout was at on Saturday night...