The People's Cube - Political Satire

Hi, The People's Anthony Sullivan here with an important message from TPCSPCA, The People's Cube's Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.

Everyday, pigs of good will around the world suffer an unspeakable infestation of capitalism.

In the streets or on the internet, people often refer to them as "kapitalist pigs." Komrades, this is not an insult; these korrekt thinkers are proficient pig-spotters who can instinctively separate the kapitalist pigs from the kommunist pigs. They understand the tragic reality of pigs being stigmatized and victimized unfairly, which is a serious crisis that afflicts pigs worldwide.

Today I tell you, the reader of this post, that we can end the tragedy of kapitalist pigs! We can work together to round them up and cure them, to turn all pigs in this world into korrekt kommunist pigs!

Join the fight and save a kapitalist pig - NOT just today, NOT just tomorrow, but YESTERDAY as well!! With your kollective help, we can make a kommunist pigdom a reality!

Many animals already live in a kommunist progdom, including cats and dogs, whom nobody would ever insinuate of being a kapitalist. We distribute rations and benefits to many animals, as well to those who identify as such*.

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* I know, I know: Captain Craptek's a squirrel, Imperatorsky Pingvin's a penguin, and I'm a distant associate of the furry fandom, so we get them benefits hahahahaha. Well, at least them benefits are good!

The People's Anthony Sullivan wrote: Today, I tell you the reader of this post that we can do something! We can work together to round up the kapitalist pigs, and cure them so they are kommunist pigs! We the collective can end the tragedy of kapitalist pigs! We can be why all pigs in this world are korrekt kommunist pigs!!

Indeed, I have always been fond of cured pork.

Feminist logic: Men are pigs

Marxist logic: Capitalists are pigs

Therefore, by the completely undefined and Orwellian strict dictates of Intersectionality™, men are capitalist pigs. So if we'd just eliminated all the men like the Marxist feminists told us to in the sixties, then we would've gotten to Next Tuesday™ decades ago.

Imperatorskiy Pingvin wrote:Feminist logic: Men are pigs

Marxist logic: Capitalists are pigs

Therefore, by the completely undefined and Orwellian strict dictates of Intersectionality™, men are capitalist pigs. So if we'd just eliminated all the men like the Marxist feminists told us to in the sixties, then we would've gotten to Next Tuesday™ decades ago.

Indeed. What have we been waiting for?

RedDiaperette wrote:

The People's Anthony Sullivan wrote: Today, I tell you the reader of this post that we can do something! We can work together to round up the kapitalist pigs, and cure them so they are kommunist pigs! We the collective can end the tragedy of kapitalist pigs! We can be why all pigs in this world are korrekt kommunist pigs!!

Indeed, I have always been fond of cured pork.

What are you waiting for then, more pigs to become kapitalist?

RedDiaperette wrote:Indeed, I have always been fond of cured pork.

By the authority vested in me by the Party, I hereby appoint Red Diaperette to a new Commissar-level position of Pork Curator.

No one is better suited to this position than a feline-identified comrade. Extra rations for contributing to the growth of appointed government positions, departments, and agencies. We can never have enough of them.

We need to drag these shameless capitalist pigs out of their private swimming pools...

[img]/images/various_uploads/Capitalist_Pig_Swimming_Pool.jpg[/img]

...and put them to work where they can be useful members of our Beet Farm Kollektive!

[img]/images/various_uploads/Communist_Pig_Farm.jpg[/img]

Imperatorskiy Pingvin wrote: Feminist logic: Men are pigs

Marxist logic: Capitalists are pigs

[img]/images/various_uploads/Men_Are_Pigs_Feminist.jpg[/img]

[img]/images/various_uploads/Communist_Pigs_Farm.jpg[/img]

The People's Anthony Sullivan wrote:Many animals already live in a kommunist progdom

Red Square wrote:

RedDiaperette wrote:Indeed, I have always been fond of cured pork.

By the authority vested in me by the Party, I hereby appoint Red Diaperette to a new Commissar-level position of Pork Curator.

No one is better suited to this position than a feline-identified comrade. Extra rations for contributing to the growth of appointed government positions, departments, and agencies. We can never have enough of them.

Oh, I am overcome and overwhelmed with gratitude to the Party for such an honor. I will immediately endeavor to show myself worthy by instituting many subdirectorates to accommodate the differences in the curing of ham, bacon, sausage, and other subvarieties. There must also, of course, be the appropriate inspectorates of such processes, along with directorates of requisitional needs, transportation, facilities maintenance, paperwork preparation and supervision, environmental impact research, diversity outreach, and all other concomitants of the Bureau.

I hasten to assure all comrades that this new position of honor equality will not interfere in any way with the presence of my popcorn concession at show trials. All for the Party!

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:

I may not be a member of the Religion of Peace, but my white western Judeo-Christofascist privilege compels me to denounce this entire thread and all who have posted on it--except for me, of course, since I'm clearly virtue-signaling. But shame on all of you for posting pictures of and comments about pigs! And at the start of Ramadan, too!

Members of the Religion of Peace will be as offended by this as I am on their behalf. Once Ramadan is over, they may be forced to set off bombs or stab people or run them down with trucks.

But that's not the worst of it. Their uncontrollable and totally justified reaction will result in this old, yellowed, grease-stained, coffee-ringed, dog-eared headline being copied and pasted from the publicity files of the SPLC and CAIR:

MUSLIM AMERICANS BRACE FOR BACKLASH FROM ISLAMOPHOBIC EXTREMISTS™

Thus making the Religion of Peace a double-victim—which in itself wouldn't bother me, as long as both victimizers are deplorables in MAGA hats. As Obama would say, comrades, that's not who we are.

At least it's not who I am. But what are you?

All of you disgust me.

I totally agree,.. totally!

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:

I may not be a member of the Religion of Peace, but my white western Judeo-Christofascist privilege compels me to denounce this entire thread and all who have posted on it--except for me, of course, since I'm clearly virtue-signaling. But shame on all of you for posting pictures of and comments about pigs! And at the start of Ramadan, too!

Members of the Religion of Peace will be as offended by this as I am on their behalf. Once Ramadan is over, they may be forced to set off bombs or stab people or run them down with trucks.

But that's not the worst of it. Their uncontrollable and totally justified reaction will result in this old, yellowed, grease-stained, coffee-ringed, dog-eared headline being copied and pasted from the publicity files of the SPLC and CAIR:

MUSLIM AMERICANS BRACE FOR BACKLASH FROM ISLAMOPHOBIC EXTREMISTS™

Thus making the Religion of Peace a double-victim—which in itself wouldn't bother me, as long as both victimizers are deplorables in MAGA hats. As Obama would say, comrades, that's not who we are.

At least it's not who I am. But what are you?

All of you disgust me.

As the brilliant and profound philosopher, Pee Wee Herman once said, "I know you are but what am I?" I mean, what a zinger! Topping that means climbing Everest with two plutonium legs. Not gonna happen.

Red Square wrote:We need to drag these shameless capitalist pigs out of their private swimming pools...

[img]/images/various_uploads/Capitalist_Pig_Swimming_Pool.jpg[/img]

...and put them to work where they can be useful members of our Beet Farm Kollektive!

[img]/images/various_uploads/Communist_Pig_Farm.jpg[/img]

That sure is the truth! A perfect example of Kapitalist Pig Porkism is on full display in the classic 1981 film Porkys! It's outrageous! Here, look.................



I imagine under kommunism getting a clump of beets or a pot of borscht as payment has to be much more fullfilling to receive in appreciation as a female member of the party to do whatever for morale or something.

(eyeroll)

Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:I imagine under kommunism getting a clump of beets or a pot of borscht as payment has to be much more fullfilling to receive in appreciation as a female member of the party to do whatever for morale or something.

(eyeroll)

In one modern Russian novel I read a story about a guy who liked to think about communism while masturbating. Personally he didn't give a damn about communism and didn't favor any ideology at all. But he'd been told that under communism women would be collectivized and there would be free sex without commitments or consequences, and that thought always inspired him to lock himself in the bathroom.

Ice Trilogy by Vladimir Sorokin

I can't vouch for the English translation, but in Russian the guy is a brilliant stylist. That story is not part of the plot but in a way it illustrates the entire zeitgeist.

Red Square wrote: In one modern Russian novel I read a story about a guy who liked to think about communism while masturbating. Personally he didn't give a damn about communism and didn't favor any ideology at all. But he'd been told that under communism women would be collectivized and there would be free sex without commitments or consequences, and that thought always inspired him to lock himself in the bathroom.

By golly, Sorokin described a democrat to a T! He must have gained great insight while attending Gubkin Institute of Oil and Gas.