5/19/2018, 1:57 pm
Although typically one gets their news programs rudely interrupted with commercials, in my case I rudely interrupt my state-approved advertisements with a state-approved news flash.
This just in:
CNN reporters recently have said that they are publishing "A Report Actually Worth Looking At." In this report, they announce that a poll was sent across the whole of CNN, with participants ranging from the part-time consultants to the top executives. According to the poll results, CNN unanimously looks to The People's Cube for inspiration.
[img]/images/Cube_CNN_Apple_Inspiration2.jpg[/img]
"We all know that they, the Cube, are funny but accurate; we drop the ball sometimes, but the glorious Cube has never" said the renowned CNN anchor Fareed Zakaria, speaking on behalf of the entire news network. "When we realize that their news reports sound more real than ours, they are clearly doing something right".
Zakaria also added a touch of personal perspective: "I don't have energy to stay up after getting up until I get a daily dose of the Cube. The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup? Well, The People's Cube is so amazing, so red, so... INSPIRING, that Folgers in my cup sounds like the WORST part of waking up!".
He has also taken to the airwaves to defend the Cube, stating plainly on TV, "Why you all gotta be such haters? The Cube is clearly an awesome site run by just as awesome people with FAR more life than all of you combined!!"
"While almost anything can be forgotten in the sands of time, I can guarantee that this will never be," continued Mr. Zakaria. "This pinnacle of innovative achievement for the human race will be taught to our children, their children, and so on."
"I feel that The People's Cube getting awarded top 100 doesn't do that website justice. So we tried to do our part, and have given you all a tremendous shout-out on all our platforms. We have, for a while now, been getting the Current Truth from their website, so why not let the world know of their awesomeness?"
CNN have also, in an official report, said that if they were able to award one individual for all this, he or she would bypass nomination, and automatically win the annual iReport awards.
This just in:
CNN reporters recently have said that they are publishing "A Report Actually Worth Looking At." In this report, they announce that a poll was sent across the whole of CNN, with participants ranging from the part-time consultants to the top executives. According to the poll results, CNN unanimously looks to The People's Cube for inspiration.
[img]/images/Cube_CNN_Apple_Inspiration2.jpg[/img]
"We all know that they, the Cube, are funny but accurate; we drop the ball sometimes, but the glorious Cube has never" said the renowned CNN anchor Fareed Zakaria, speaking on behalf of the entire news network. "When we realize that their news reports sound more real than ours, they are clearly doing something right".
Zakaria also added a touch of personal perspective: "I don't have energy to stay up after getting up until I get a daily dose of the Cube. The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup? Well, The People's Cube is so amazing, so red, so... INSPIRING, that Folgers in my cup sounds like the WORST part of waking up!".
He has also taken to the airwaves to defend the Cube, stating plainly on TV, "Why you all gotta be such haters? The Cube is clearly an awesome site run by just as awesome people with FAR more life than all of you combined!!"
"While almost anything can be forgotten in the sands of time, I can guarantee that this will never be," continued Mr. Zakaria. "This pinnacle of innovative achievement for the human race will be taught to our children, their children, and so on."
"I feel that The People's Cube getting awarded top 100 doesn't do that website justice. So we tried to do our part, and have given you all a tremendous shout-out on all our platforms. We have, for a while now, been getting the Current Truth from their website, so why not let the world know of their awesomeness?"
CNN have also, in an official report, said that if they were able to award one individual for all this, he or she would bypass nomination, and automatically win the annual iReport awards.
