The People's Cube - Political Satire

Komrades,

Today I welcome you all into my exciting State-approved life.

Instead of me selling something, you will sell it instead, filling in my shoes for a day (which is actually subjective: so long as you reply pertaining to this post in the replies, you are might as well role-playing me), so here is the product you will sell in the replies:

I've heard from a friend that Volkswagen literally means "The People's Car" in German some time ago. The Bureau of design has designed a new State-approved People's car, and you are to sell it to the kollektive, and ultimately, the kapitalist-indoctrinated world.

You have absolute creative freedom selling it, so long as it is State-approved freedom, of course.

Since I'm the only other one awake, I get to post these first:

There's also the pride of East German manufacturing. A car so good, people waited for years just to buy one. And then waited several more years for delivery.

Sell? SELL? Sounds pretty kkkapitalistic to me.







Comrade, there's a box near the registration desk at the train station, the box has my name on it. Just slide your ration cards into the slot in the boxtop for (cough) safekeeping (wink wink) while you're away. We'll take good care of them until your <hysterical laughter> return.

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Sell? SELL? Sounds pretty kkkapitalistic to me.







Comrade, there's a box near the registration desk at the train station, the box has my name on it. Just slide your ration cards into the slot in the boxtop for (cough) safekeeping (wink wink) while you're away. We'll take good care of them until your <hysterical laughter> return.

State-approved double standard fairness. Won't be going anywhere anytime soon.

The People's Anthony Sullivan wrote:

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Sell? SELL? Sounds pretty kkkapitalistic to me.

State-approved double standard fairness. Won't be going anywhere anytime soon.

We need the hard currency.

Imperatorskiy Pingvin wrote:

The People's Anthony Sullivan wrote:

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Sell? SELL? Sounds pretty kkkapitalistic to me.

State-approved double standard fairness. Won't be going anywhere anytime soon.

We need the hard currency.

Behind the tractor barn is a box disguised as an unsuspecting rock, full of whatever you need. Keep it secret between us, ok?

(Don't worry, nobody else can understand us. To everyone else, our secret improvised language sounds like [basically is] gibberish, remember)?

Is interesting 'The Peoples Anthony Sullivan"! A new state-approved vehicle. Hmmm - which we haven't seen - and right away the People's Yugo gets slammed. This is not equal! Yes, 'Volkswagen, or VW, as it is known colloquially, means 'Peoples Wagon.' Sometime back Ivan referred to me, Comrade Vasily Willy as Comrade VW. Yes, I will answer proudly to the moniker. Comrade VW - the People's Comrade! As such, I feel uniquely qualified to address the topic of not only the sale of the new Peoples Car but to also address unfair and unequal treatment of the Yugo.

I will say first of all, in the interest of full disclosure, that all my ancestors are from the most northerly republic of Slovenia in the former Yugoslavia (Hats off and a toast to Josip Broz Tito)!). Now, not many people ever heard of Slovenia until Melania. (Well, there was Vinko Bogataj the Olympic Ski Jumper who you will remember crashing in his historic "Agony of Defeat' video - ouch) Anyway, in the lead-up to the 2016 Presidential election I had to make a decision as to whether I would vote for Hillary woman or Donald Trump. As Slovenian, it was a no-brainer for me - I went with the Slovenian!! Yeah, Baby!!

But I digress . . . I apologize . . . visions of Melania clouded my perceptions. Back to Yugo. Let's see . . . where was I? . . . I lost my train of thought . . . Oh yes, unfair and unequal treatment. There were those who even began a campaign to slur "the little car that could." It was said . . . "Friends don't let friends drive Yugos." Most unfair and most unequal. I am most anxious to see new Peoples Wagon and I wish for its success with the proles. FYI - there are as many old Yugos running around the former Yugoslavia as there are old 'bugs' in AmeriKKA.

The New State-Approved People's Car has already been designed and built.

South Park, Season 5, Episode 11

Slovenia? Your neighbors to the south in Bosnia got pretty good at "ethnic cleansing" their problems away... for example, around here we have a squirrel problem. Pick a side: So should we (ahem) cleanse ourselves of all squirrels, or should we initially selectively take out the rabble-rousing leadership and influncer-squirrels, and then purge the rest of the vermin?

Hypothetically speaking of course, but choose wisely, and don't pay attention to the protestations by squirrels in funny shoes.

Squirrel problem . . . yes, I have noticed these squirrels. Do they attend Mosque? Are they working through the Party Planning Commission ™ to rezone beet fields to make more Mosques? Those squirrels can be real annoying when too many begin to gather in those minarets. Regardless of what His O'liness said about the "the call of prayer from the minarets being the sweetest sound in the world," it is all just so much chattering. Let me know . . . I have a .22 caliber varmint rifle for rodent control.

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Slovenia? Your neighbors to the south in Bosnia got pretty good at "ethnic cleansing" their problems away... for example, around here we have a squirrel problem. Pick a side: So should we (ahem) cleanse ourselves of all squirrels, or should we initially selectively take out the rabble-rousing leadership and influncer-squirrels, and then purge the rest of the vermin?

Hypothetically speaking of course, but choose wisely, and don't pay attention to the protestations by squirrels in funny shoes.

Comrade Vasily Willy wrote:Squirrel problem . . . yes, I have noticed these squirrels. Do they attend Mosque? Are they working through the Party Planning Commission ™ to rezone beet fields to make more Mosques? Those squirrels can be real annoying when too many begin to gather in those minarets. Regardless of what His O'liness said about the "the call of prayer from the minarets being the sweetest sound in the world," it is all just so much chattering. Let me know . . . I have a .22 caliber varmint rifle for rodent control.

Comrade Ivan,

I see you have a new recruit for the "Squirrel Haters Club" - Please advise him that "The People's Rodent" brooks no interference with his daily activities during *nut gathering season.

(BTW: *Nut gathering season runs from roughly Jan 1 to Dec 31 each year)

Captain Craptek
The People's Rodent (by self proclamation)

Captain Craptek wrote:Comrade Ivan,

I see you have a new recruit for the "Squirrel Haters Club" - Please advise him that "The People's Rodent" brooks no interference with his daily activities during *nut gathering season.

(BTW: *Nut gathering season runs from roughly Jan 1 to Dec 31 each year)

Captain Craptek
The People's Rodent (by self proclamation)

The People's Nuts™ need to be protected from KKKapitalist exploitation!

The People's nuts, as grown in the People's orchards are for PEOPLE. That's what the People say. And CNN, so it must be true.

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:The People's nuts, as grown in the People's orchards are for PEOPLE.

Somebody really ought to denounce that guy for his raging intolerant hatred for otherkin.

Imperatorskiy Pingvin wrote:

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:The People's nuts, as grown in the People's orchards are for PEOPLE.

Somebody really ought to denounce that guy for his raging intolerant hatred for otherkin.

And he doesn't like us, either!

Captain Craptek wrote:

Imperatorskiy Pingvin wrote:

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:The People's nuts, as grown in the People's orchards are for PEOPLE.

Somebody really ought to denounce that guy for his raging intolerant hatred for otherkin.

And he doesn't like us, either!

And what of those who do not have nuts? Fie, fie upon such sexism and transphobia.

Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:The New State-Approved People's Car has already been designed and built.

South Park, Season 5, Episode 11

Thanks for the tip and yes, I checked out the “IT” vehicle and it certainly would seem to beat air travel. Places an entire new meaning to the 4-stroke internal combustion engine, yes? Hot Rodders ‘get-off' on their engines and love to speak with affection about their ‘bored' and ‘stroked' engines. Now, with the Peoples Car ™ you can get ‘bored' and ‘stroked' fore and aft all in the same cycle. That Comrade is the epitome of the conservation of energy.; Truly, a VERY EQUAL mode of transportation.

Komrads...

...Do not forget the Owebama Government Motors Volt, the car that caught fire in the show room.