The People's Cube - Political Satire

(Note: this was originally supposed to be a headline that goes "Volkswagen renames the California to avoid it being called "The SJW's camper-van" that I was going to suggest Red Square put up with the other headlines on the right, but I worried that he would be to busy to be able to read such a suggestion email. Besides, I managed to conceive of a little fake totally real news report)

In a shocking announcement from top executives in Volkswagen, they announced that they will be renaming their camper-van, the Volkswagen California.

As recorded from a spokesperson: "We feel that a name like 'California' is too edgy, and is a cultural appropriation of SJWs, and totally not that we're afraid of the risk of becoming known as 'the SJW's van'. As our name still means 'the People's car' in German, we seek to find our new name from something also known as of 'the People's', which is why we are turning to The People's Cube for inspiration/suggestions for our new name".

In the meantime, to celebrate mourn the renaming of the California, I we bought one, and took a State-approved road-trip across America. Below is a random internet photo an unfinished picture with us not in it. I'm sure the likes of Cubists like Craptek, Putout, and Pingvin will edit our faces in publish a totally-not-edited-at-all picture with us Cubists featured in it:

The Volkswagon California is a most apt name for the camper-van conversion. If a copyright deal could be struck with the remaining sober members of the "Eagles," the vans could be referred to as the "Pequeno Hotel Callyfornya ™ Vans."

. . . "On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair, warm smell of burritos rising up in the air."

Yes, it could be the Official Vehicle of the "Reconquista!" As the homeless and illegal alien numbers increase, Governor Moonbeam, rather than providing costly low-income housing, can distribute 'little hotels.' Rather than homeless encampments with unattractive blue plastic tarps scattered along Bike Trails, some of these vans could be outfitted with faux surfboards so as not to look out of place along southern California beach highways.

P.S. This is a true public relations and marketing genius move on the part of the Volkswagon CEOs!

Perhaps I missed it, will this have one of those "testing challenged" (thus special needs) diesel engines that turn carbon credits into diesel smoke? They remind me of the high-end luxury Amerikkan tractors...

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Perhaps I missed it, will this have one of those "testing challenged" (thus special needs) diesel engines that turn carbon credits into diesel smoke? They remind me of the high-end luxury Amerikkan tractors...

Ivan, it is unclear at this time if it will be necessary for the Volkswagon Corporation™ to purchase ‘carbon credits.' While we know that they were – as you say – ‘testing challenged' in previous years, Governor Moonbeam, for the purposes of this very lucrative government contract, has declared all of southern California a one-time “Sanctuary Area” for non-conforming mileage ratings during this homeless crisis. Mostly these ‘little hotels' won't be traveling too far anyway, and besides, California finds themselves pretty busy dealing with the enforcement of the plastic straws ban.


When reached for comments, the Volkswagon Engineers in charge of EPA/mileage/pollution standards Western Division had this to say to reporters:
“Carbon Credits?”. . .
“We don't got no carbon credits” . . .
“We don't need no stinking carbon credits”. . .
“Our leetle vans get 80 miles to the gallon!*”
*Your actual mileage may vary under conditions known to the State of California to cause cancer. There are no guarantees either expressed or implied and batteries are not included. Tax incentives are available for the addition of solar panels, wind turbines and anything that doesn't have plastic in it.

Perhaps 'Silicon Valley van' is most appropriate since so many there are living in their cars due to the high cost of housing.