The People's Cube - Political Satire

Democrats challenged by Trump are receiving Presidential crude pipe bombs in the mail.

Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Shumer are still waiting for theirs to arrive, but are sure that like their government paycheck, the "check is in the mail."

The FBI has already prepared the report of the multi-billion dollar investigation that it anticipates being requested to do, and will identify saliva on the stamps as 1/1024 of Russian origin.

"All of the envelopes listed Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz as the return address."

Is that unthinkable?

What I'd like to know, is whom the comrades in the DNC-Deep-State-Industrial Complex had hired to build those nonsensical bombs with wires sticking from both ends and the packages screaming, "It's a bomb!" Was it the Mohammed boy whom Obama once invited to the White House and who has all grown up?

We can only feel sorry for our comrades who are getting so desperate to defeat Trump that they no longer care about consequences and do crazy things like there's no manana.

They gloriously broke laws in 2016 hoping to win the White House and sweep everything under the rug later, as usual. Once they lost, they launched an investigation of Trump and his allies, hoping that would buy them time until they get back the House and the Senate in 2018 and destroy Trump from that new position of power, so that hoping no one would investigate their own transgressions.

Now that their Blue Wave was about to fizzle out, they got scared that without the political power they would soon be exposed, lose everything, and go to jail.

So they've become like the rigged bus in the movie Speed, where they must either keep charging forward or die. And if that means coming up with more criminal plots involving cartoon bombs sent to themselves, so be it. If they don't get the majority in the midterms, they are finished. If they do, the bombs will be swept under the rug and forgotten.

Time will tell. The clock is ticking.

Acknowledgments to comrade Wile E. Coyote for sharing sneak peeks into his next megahit:
Enpecee Strangeplot or: How I Learned to Stop Resistanceing and Love the Bomb

(all pics/shots taken in dry runs, prior to Wile's character getting his NPC-makeup)

HIT THE FLOOR COMRADES, THEY'VE GOT A BOMB THAT'S GONNA EXPLODE!!!!!!!!!!




(Democrats bomb again.)

If only they'd consulted with the ATF—or perhaps their allies Al Qaeda—then they could've assembled something more credible which they could then credibly blame on an entirely credible right-wing extremist.

Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:"All of the envelopes listed Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz as the return address."

Is that unthinkable?

With the inclusion of that specific return address, the disaffected Bernie bros are telling anyone with a brain that they're responsible for this. From the article:

All of the envelopes listed Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz as the return address. The FBI also said it was responding to a report of a suspicious package at one of Schultz's offices in Florida. She is the former chairwoman of the Democratic National Committee who was accused by Clinton rivals of secretly boosting the former secretary of state to the party's 2016 presidential nomination.

But you can go right on ahead and ignore that inconvenient fact and blame this on Trump, whose name is conveniently mentioned six times along with his "history of advising supporters to 'knock the hell out of' protesters and saying that he would like to see opponents carried out 'on a stretcher.'"

Imperatorskiy Pingvin wrote:If only they'd consulted with the ATF—or perhaps their allies Al Qaeda—then they could've assembled something more credible which they could then credibly blame on an entirely credible right-wing extremist.

That's what happens when you look up "provocation" on eHow.

Since the bombs would have worked only in theory, I suspect Bernie Sanders.

This is another glorious gift giving idea (second only to our beloved director's new book). I can send such fake bombs to all my Democrat comrades and make them feel like they too are special.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:This is another glorious gift giving idea (second only to our beloved director's new book). I can send such fake bombs to all my Democrat comrades and make them feel like they too are special.

Beware. Calling a self-identified bomb "fake" sounds like bombaphobia to me.

Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:... when you look up "provocation" on eHow.

... Strangeplot thickens!

Everybody, run!

The first mail bomb victim spotted... A DNC worker takes a sick day and sends a selfie to his boss as proof of illness.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:This is another glorious gift giving idea (second only to our beloved director's new book). I can send such fake bombs to all my Democrat comrades and make them feel like they too are special.

I am disappointed.

I sent fake bombs to myself back in high school to make me look special to my friends, to make it look like senpai has noticed me, and nobody noticed me, and all of this done years before you said such an idea. I will now never be credited for my valiant deeds of self-importance ego-stroking.

Comrade Lehrer once again provides a paraphase solving the "whodunit" case:

And who deserves the credit?
And who deserves the blame?
no, not Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky, but ...
Bad Orange Man Trumputler is his name!
Oy!

Thank goodness there isn't a Rieichstag for the democrats to burn down.

As terrorism has become "man-made incidents", Global Warming has become "climate change", pipe bombs are now "suspicious devices."

Don't goof this up.

Interesting how in his time of dire need, Beto O'Rourke did NOT receive his gratuitous cylindrical device. Thoughts?

Comrade Señor Beto ("they're magically delicious") O'Rourke is insanely jealous at this time.

He desperately wants to receive his own "suspicious device" as it will establish his status as a rock star of the Party.

That face you make when you realize that you grabbed the wrong microphone in your haste to blame Trump

Powerline Blog has hoarded an unfairly big collection of fake bomb memes. Here are some of them, redistributed to the masses:

[img]/images/memes/Falke_Bombs_9.jpg[/img]

[img]/images/memes/Falke_Bombs_8.jpg[/img]

[img]/images/memes/Falke_Bombs_7.jpg[/img]

[img]/images/memes/Falke_Bombs_6.jpg[/img]

[img]/images/memes/Falke_Bombs_5.jpg[/img]

[img]/images/memes/Falke_Bombs_4.jpg[/img]

[img]/images/memes/Falke_Bombs_3.jpg[/img]

[img]/images/memes/Falke_Bombs_2.jpg[/img]

[img]/images/memes/Falke_Bombs_12.jpg[/img]

[img]/images/memes/Falke_Bombs_11.jpg[/img]

[img]/images/memes/Falke_Bombs_10.jpg[/img]

[img]/images/memes/Falke_Bombs_1.jpg[/img]

These deplorables might as well send them scissors with a label...

Scissors for Running

Dear Democrat candidate! Don't run for office without these multi-purpose scissors! You can also take them to your next trip to the gym or hold them while jogging for increased performance.

Respectfully,
Trumpsters

The only bombs Robert Deniro has to worry about are his last three movies. I bet the Saudis know how to make a bomb...