The People's Cube - Political Satire

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From The People's News:

Broccoli futures rose sharply Saturday in off-hours trading on the news of US former President George H. W. Bush having died.

US commodities traders expect a long-depressed broccoli market to return now that no one important is saying any more that he doesn't like broccoli.

We sent a reporter out to Tractor Barn #2 to ask if some of next year's beet acreage will instead be planted to broccoli to meet increased demand, but no one would talk to us. Our reporter was told, through a crack in the door, that Comrade Stakhanovets was "unavailable for comment" while our reporter could hear a loud voice inside yelling "YOU CAN'T MAKE VODKA OUT OF THAT STUFF!"

No one was at any of the other tractor barns. Apparently they were all having a meeting somewhere.

That is all we know at this juncture. We will update this story if more information comes available.

Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:From The People's News:

Broccoli futures rose sharply Saturday in off-hours trading on the news of US former President George H. W. Bush having died.

No one was at any of the other tractor barns. Apparently they were all having a meeting somewhere.

MK, there was a lot of broccoli chopping going on..............

Thank you for this useful inside trading info. Broccoli stalk market! We can now safely invest all of our Party cash into it. Capitalism is evil, so there's no harm in using it to our advantage in order to destroy it. But let's keep this between us, comrades.

For everyone else, a Party-approved slogan:

If we don't force the sitting U.S. President to be more like George H.W. Bush, then broccoli wins.

My Our entire beet collective has voted (UNANIMOUSLY, as always) that (Indigenous-Peoples'-Produced, Fair-Market) Broccoli is once again acceptable on our Communal Tables.

Submitted for your consideration ... Sir Terry Pratchett, regarding broccoli:

"... Broccolee's on next. She can touch the back of her head with her foot, you know -"

"I don't believe that!" said Fred Colon.

"She can, Sarge, I've seen -"

"I don't believe there's a dancer called Broccoli!"

"Well, she did use to be called Candi, Sarge, but then she heard that broccoli is better for you -"

When it comes to futures, there is surely a bright one for a lady who can do that.

Time to take advantage of this great looking future for broccoli futures by incorporating it with the spring beet planting. It just so happens broccoli is an excellent companion plant to beets which should help to produce a larger harvest for the Kollective.

And who knew broccoli was so much fun? I don't recall having this much fun with beets until they were turned into a beverage................

"LEAVE BROCCOLI ALONE!!!" -- George Herbert Walker Bush

Are we now allowed to eat the fuzzy bits at the top or must I continue tomake do with enjoy the stalks?