8/26/2019, 12:29 pm
In what appears to have been a caused by a teleprompted malfunction, bedlam broke out across Portland by otherwise peaceful Antifa members, who believed that their city was being invaded by Orange Nazi Aliens.
Multiple injuries are being reported caused by Antifa members attacking Trump supporters.
The violence subsided momentarily when a voice broke through the crowd with the non-sequitor "'Illegal aliens'? No human is illegal! No human is an alien!", which caused the mob to pause-- half in quiet agreement, half in bewilderment-- only to resume when I woman with her head wrapped in a bandage (obviously injured by MAGAs) interjected "He's obviously not human!"
The incident is believed to have begun during Don Lemon's CNN broadcast, during which the teleprompter jumped in rapid succession from one story to the next. The show, which was to consist of a segment on Malaysia Airline's flight 370 being swallowed up by a black hole, followed by a story about why Trump is Hitler, and finishing with a promo of the Discovery Channel's "Shark Week". Reading verbatim from the malfunctioning teleprompter, viewers were left with the impression that Trump and his supporters are little trans-dimensional orange Nazis who can be warded off by a firm punch in the nose... much like a shark attack.
During the broadcast, people began pouring into the streets to punch the nearest Trump supporter they could find.
Psychologists are comparing the incident to the mass hysteria caused by a 1938 radio broadcast of H.G. Wells' "War of the Worlds" as read by Orson Wells, which was mistaken by many in the public as a news broadcast.
Some Antifa, who also mistaken CNN for a news broadcast, are comparing it to World War II because, "like... Trump... like... he's just like Hitler!" adding also "It's 'Anti-FASCIST'... it's in the name, bruh."
This post was originally made during the great migration. Unfortunately, it was stashed with this month's borscht ration-- both of which were stolen by marauding capitalist plunderers. Red Square made several great editorial changes which I am unable to recreate from memory.