The People's Cube - Political Satire

[h1]‘Miss Whiskers will be fine': Beto O'Rourke jokes about threatening to kill a kitten[/h1]

Beto O'Rourke made fun of urgent, sky-is-falling, end-of-quarter fundraising pitches from his fellow 2020 Democrats by joking about threatening the life of a kitten.

"I am starting to run out of ways to show how important this deadline is," the former Texas congressman wrote in an email to supporters on Saturday with the subject line "Miss Whiskers." "Maybe I could do a Facebook live stream with a kitten in hand and say, 'You know, we wouldn't want anything to happen to this kitten now would we… Send your $5 now and Miss Whiskers will be fine.'

"To be clear, we're not planning on harming any kittens," O'Rourke clarified. "But we do need your help."

O'Rourke bought up the same joke hypothetical at the Texas Tribune's TribFest in Austin on Saturday, referencing fundraising pitches from his presidential primary rivals New Jersey Sen. Cory Booker and former Housing Secretary Julián Castro. Booker has warned that he will drop out of the race if he does not meet his $1.7 million goal, and Castro said that he could drop out if he does not meet the qualification standards for the November Democratic presidential primary debate.

"Saying, 'Hey, if you do not give me $1.7 million, I'm leaving the race.' Or, 'If I don't qualify for this next debate stage, I'm gone.'

You know, it's kind of raising the ante, or the bar, for how we compete for these dollars," O'Rourke said. "I could maybe do a Facebook live stream with a kitten and say, you know, 'Now, we don't want anything to happen to the kitten.'"


https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news ... sing-email

From a cat burglar, to a cat killer. We had better give him the money quick or we will be overrun with mice.

Oh, how terrible to see! But never fear; help is near:

Let's see Beto try that with Pinky.

Pinky says "Do you feel lucky punk? Make my day."

Hey look at that. A pussy holding a pussy.

Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:... Pinky says "Do you feel lucky punk? Make my day." ...

uh-oh.. Pinky was clearly trained in Clara's Glorious I'll-Bust-Your-.. techniques, no?

Genosse Dummkopf wrote: uh-oh.. Pinky was clearly trained in Clara's Glorious I'll-Bust-Your-.. techniques, no?

Hee, hee, hee....ja...I mean yes.

Looks like Amy Klobuchar is one upping Beto with her animal abuse fund raiser. Speaking at a foreign sponsored UFCW event (United Foods & Commercial Workers) she informed the crowd that for every dollar donated she will take aim at a duck with her golf club and 'balls'. If she kills a duck, for an extra $1000. dollars she will have the duck prepared in a delicious take out meal of Peking Duck complete with dumplings.

Everyone will donate $5 to Comrade Beto so there is no need for cats to worry.

Also I am now self-identifying as a panda bear.

As from corrupt debased American televisor series Южный парк, "Симпсоны уже сделали это", it is being done before, Mr. Borscht Beeto is unoriginal.

da da, tavarishch Gogol!
And wasn't that man's best friend named Justhalfin Trudeaug?

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:da da, tavarishch Gogol!
And wasn't that man's best friend named Justhalfin Trudeaug?

Indeed, just one half of this True-Dog's face was "darkened" to just a smidgen less bright color than white.

P.P. Gogol wrote:As from corrupt debased American televisor series Южный парк, "Симпсоны уже сделали это", it is being done before, Mr. Borscht Beeto is unoriginal.

It has been done even before South Park and The Simpsons. Mr. Beeto is THAT unoriginal. But then again, nothing the Democrats are doing today hasn't been done a hundred years ago by the Bolsheviks.

An old documentary photo of Mr. Beeto tells the story.

[img]/images/Beeto_ORourke_Goes_to_Seed.jpg[/img]

Yo, Bee Dough's such a cracker-ho. I is happy that da gun buy back don't apply to me. Be sure to sell your crap gats to da man after I heist them outta yo crib, keeping the best ones for me and my crew.

'Till now, I carried the party Mosin or Tokarov, but now I sport big black assault weapon in the 'scalade, 'cause they's spook ya.

It appears that our demographics are shifting toward Comrade (and Queen of Triple-Crown Weave) Representative Sheila Jackson-Lee (D, TX 19) and her district...

Welcome new Comrade. Park the Escalade, and grab yo' shovel. We gots beets to tend and a quota to make.

Yo.

Looks like we be sparkin' hot in Texazistan, bro Comrades. 'pelipsky seen C2GM Escalade on Gulf Freeway flyin' "Come and Take It" colors. As long as we don't touch Queen LaSheila's hair...we cool...coz'n we can carry 10 boxes PLUS a shovel.

Beto Drops Out Of Race To Spend More Time Taking Guns From His Family

bbbbuuttt.....what happened to Mr. Whiskers??? Or, are we not supposed to ask, anymore?
...quivering hare lipped 'pelipsky.

jackalopelipsky wrote:bbbbuuttt.....what happened to Mr. Whiskers??? Or, are we not supposed to ask, anymore?
...quivering hare lipped 'pelipsky.

It's okay. Whiskers did it on Beto's pillow and then made off to the White House, safe and sound.

Margaret wrote:

jackalopelipsky wrote:bbbbuuttt.....what happened to Mr. Whiskers??? Or, are we not supposed to ask, anymore?
...quivering hare lipped 'pelipsky.

It's okay. Whiskers did it on Beto's pillow and then made off to the White House, safe and sound.

On Beto's pillow? Oh dear, I hope Whiskers was not infected by the contact.

RedDiaperette wrote:

Margaret wrote:

jackalopelipsky wrote:bbbbuuttt.....what happened to Mr. Whiskers??? Or, are we not supposed to ask, anymore?
...quivering hare lipped 'pelipsky.

It's okay. Whiskers did it on Beto's pillow and then made off to the White House, safe and sound.

On Beto's pillow? Oh dear, I hope Whiskers was not infected by the contact.

That crazy Mr. Whiskers!! Doing "it" on Beto's pillow???...and then off to White House??? What a happy ending to his release from Beto's crib. It's like almost as good as this Lifetime Movie where AK-9 Conan came limping from the dust of the collapsing tunnel into Trumputler's waiting arms.

If Mr. Whiskers wanted to run as a representative for Texazistan, he's got the feline temerity necessary for the job...and, at Beto's expense! 'pelipsky sees no down sides, here. It's allTender Vittles - flavor to be determined at whim and on demand - everyday from now on!

Red Square wrote:Beto Drops Out Of Race To Spend More Time Taking Guns From His Family

Beto_Cart.jpg

"Hell Yes I will take your order!"