The People's Cube - Political Satire

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I didn't watch tonight's Democratic Debate because of some urgent Party business I had to attend to with Ivan the Stakhanovets at Tractor Barn #2. The plan was to play a drinking game while watching the debate, but we started practicing a bit too early and I passed out before it began.

The last thing I remember seeing on TV was a gigantic flying saucer hovering over the stage, so I missed the part where the candidates descended from it onto the stage, or were beamed up to it afterwards, as well as everything in between.

So I was hoping my comrades here could fill me in about what happened.

Was it another episode of Vote For Me and You'll Get It Free?

Red Salmon

Red Salmon wrote:Was it another episode of Vote For Me and You'll Get It Free?

Red Salmon

[OFF]

I only caught a 10 minute or so segment out in the car during my lunch break. Even though I only listened to 10 minutes, I can say for certain that it, indeed, was another episode of VFM&YGIF.

Alas, I could not watch either. I was giving birth to a flaming porcupine and it was far less painful than watching a Democrat debate.

I was too busy readying the popcorn machines for the impeachment show trials.

I do not worry about the debate. I'm sure The Party will tell me what to feel when I need to feel it. It would delay the GWONT to take time to watch the debate when there is essential work to be done in the Glorious People's Beet Fields. That and spending quality time with The Cube ™. Dang it, now I will hear that Barry White earwig all day.

The Current Truth ™, Oh baby!

Red Salmon

From what I've read in the media this morning, the 12 beings on that stage and their hosts had spent the entire time probing American brains - and confirmed once again that about one half of them had been softened enough to receive alien implants.

Joe Biden's corn has popped.

Red Square wrote:From what I've read in the media this morning, the 12 beings on that stage and their hosts had spent the entire time probing American brains - and confirmed once again that about one half of them had been softened enough to receive alien implants.

And just in time...The Karaoke Mill...elucidates that whole alien implant feeling Just herdin' t'beets, Exalted Leader.'pelipsky

Transatlantic discombobulativity: Was that ascent(/descent?) of, like, sexual nature?
(as I see the Glorious Sexta Organ at the very base of the flyin' saucy event!)

RedDiaperette wrote:I was too busy readying the popcorn machines for the impeachment show trials.

Politbyuro recommendation: Team up with that Komradette of the two-pawed Ballbustie species!
A Party-approved championette of first-rate popcorn!

$.$. Halliburton wrote:Joe Biden's corn has popped.

Ask not for whom the Corn Pops, it Pops for thee...

Oy, what a night! Last thing I remember was the whole tractor barn doing the "Tomahawk Chop" to that war chant... listening attentively to the guest lecturer discuss the next five year plan, after a rousing chorus of marching songs. I must have dozed off at some point.

It doesn't matter who watches the debate, or whether the debaters are popping corn or probing each other with hockey sticks. It doesn't even matter if the debates are happening or not.

What matters is that our voter-manufacturing conveyer belt doesn't run out of fossil fuels.

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:... the whole tractor barn doing the "Tomahawk Chop" to that war chant... listening attentively ...

"Tomahawk Chop" (potentially) in Tractor Barn #2... Wow! A Seminole seminal event!

Tomahawk Chop...
In some minds it surely evokes a vision of choppers, equally distributing Tomahawk missiles across our Planet. (while the chopper armada, each single one of them masterfully tuned, starts from Illesheim Airstrip - eh?)

Tomahawk Chop...
Questions upon questions rush through the beet soup nourished mind:
Did Fauxcahontas, while debating, shake an incarnadine foam tomahawk?
Did Crazy Bernie, as always, turn into a red-hotly overexcited, spittle exuding, goggle-eyed, bipedal tomahawk?
Did Bootygig.. Did Sit-On-Staff-Kamatralala.. Did Swampman-Bidenovich-Bidenovskiy.. Did Beeto-Table-Tapdancer..

Tomahawks of foam...
But, but.. they are RED! Ain't they? RED - Kommunizm, Revolooshun, Batyushka-Mao-Maduro! Glory, the glory!
But, but.. red? you mean, like those MAGA hats? Deplorables, Trumpkins, erected TRUMP Tower! Horror, the horror!

Truly, navigating these tomahawkish choppy waters calls for the discombobulative subtlety of our Komradette RedD!


Komrades Amerikkkans!
The only way to end that tomahawcalamity, this here Total Transformation:

Tomahawk Chop → SextaKube Shake !

[/indentr]
P.S.
As a Transatlantic Infiltrator, I can't stop gigglin' I must in strongest terms condemn the 88|18-aspect of that "choppin".
What exactly do they do with their right arms, eh? Isn't it "88! 88! 88!" and "18! 18! 18!" ?

Also: Immediately stop playing morceaux of that mazurka wizard, Chopin! Frédéric Chopin, aka Fryderyk Szopen (ask Poles!).

RedDiaperette wrote:I was too busy readying the popcorn machines for the impeachment show trials.

Comrade Diaperette, I too have been preparing for the Impeachment Show Trials - but, due to the fact that all the corn in my part of the country has been used in creating glorious 95% Ethanol gasoline, I have been working on developing popbeets, which will, when fully developed, pop when heated into delicious People's-Cube-size beet squares, ready for vodka and salt!Granted, I've had to patch numerous holes in the roof (and walls) of the tractor barn while developing a less-explosive strain of Popbeet™, but I am convinced that the korrekt genetic mix is right around the corner! Or perhaps coroner. It's hard to say.I hope all has been well for you on the glorious Cube!Can someone remind me how to insert paragraphs and/or double line breaks? So much has been forgotten. I suspect that my text isn't rich enough.

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:Can someone remind me how to insert paragraphs and/or double line breaks? So much has been forgotten. I suspect that my text isn't rich enough.

Go to Poor Text and insert the paragraph breaks there.

It is good to see you again, Komrade R.O.C.K. And it is a Good Thing that your popbeets are indeed spreading their wealth around ... all over the landscape.

R.O.C.K., I remember your show trial like it was yesterday. Good times...good times...

Prior to the debate, and on behalf of the DNC's Politburo™, I assembled a team to "educate" members of the media about the list of korrekt questions. Of course, there were merely "recommendations". Naturally, our "recommend questions" were Party Approved™.

The 2020 election in a nutshell, an artist's sketch.

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Those SDPs sure know how to put on a debate.