The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades!
Typewriters keypads clatter, teleprinters rattle, phone lines in meltdown!

News! News! Headlines!

COP25! COP25! COP25!


BREAKING News:

• UN Resolution: UNFCCC will be renamed simply to Klimintern. Consequently, the future conferences will be Klimintern26, Klimintern27, ... , Klimintern31415, ... etc.
  
• As COP25 starts, any use of the question mark ('?'), be it written/typed/verbal/mental, is FORBIDDEN (in a radius of 50 miles around IFEMA, the congress center of Klimintern)
  
• Airports (Madrid and all regional ones, Portugal included) were adapted to receive participants arriving by catamarans (see this, lookup the numbers 1,200 / 140 / 15,000)
  
• Press Release (today): All 314 IPCC models show now that Moon's atmosphere may warm heat up, too. On IPCC's Likelihood Scale: 'heat up' is About as likely as not (33..66% chance), 'may' is Virtually certain (99..100% chance), 'Moon' is Assured (120%)
  
• In the Opening Ceremony of COP25, Frau Merkel will be bestowed upon the honorific title Ze Moral Klimaführer Of Ze Planet*

* insiders point out that, last minute, 'Klimaführer' will be replaced by 'KlimCommOrg' (supposedly b/c of some alleged "impropriety" of the former)

[/indentr][/indentr][/indentr][/indentr][/indentr][/indentr]

'pelipsky really liked that part of the story where limos from all over the entire EU nations had to be driven to and then back home from Klimintern in Copenhagen. Good thing everyone involved had carbon credits to do the needful to Save The Planet™.

jackalopelipsky wrote:... really liked that part of the story where limos from all over the entire EU nations had to be driven to and then back home from Klimintern in Copenhagen ...

A google quickie yields (for the COP15 panjandrum of 2009 in "Hopenhagen"):

Record numbers of participants including 10,500 delegates, 13,500 observers,and coverage by more than 3,000 media representatives. Intensive negotiations characterized by over 1,000 official, informal andgroup [sic] meetings among Parties.

(the source of which is Big Kahuna himself)

The circus-2019 aka COP25 will have (said some MSM, days ago) ca. 25.000 directly involved clowns. (oh yep, and Saint Greta landed TODAY in Lisbon; so, coming FFF in Madrid = full pomp.)



Panjandrum... in itself, a colorful, inspiring, and thrillingly magic term.
Perfectly fits (among many) also the lunacy of Klimatizm-2000:

I'm just going to leave this here.

[img]/images/various_uploads/Greta_Sign_Lemon.jpg[/img]

In socialist America, Lemon squeezes you!

Bartender's Lawsuit Accuses CNN's Don Lemon of Assault

Dustin Hice claims that the anchor rubbed his own genitalia and then put his fingers into Hice's face.

Red Square wrote:In socialist America, Lemon squeezes you!

Bartender's Lawsuit Accuses CNN's Don Lemon of Assault

Dustin Hice claims that the anchor rubbed his own genitalia and then put his fingers into Hice's face.

Sounds like CNN's Don Lemon is a source of malarkey.

'pelipsky
#BR 549

.

• Struck by a bout of Klimate Degenerativity, Nancy Peloski looses it
  
• In an attempt to paper over the Klimate Katastrophe, FLOTUS Melania arranges a nostalgic "December" in the corridors of White House, including allusions to TAFKAS, the artefact formerly known as "snow"
  
• Caught in a dense bubble of high-pressure karbon dioxide, a few NATO top administrators babble incoherently with dropped jaws - media save the day, add catchy "soundtrack", so it doesn't look like a Peloski 2.0

Meanwhile in Londonistan:

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:Meanwhile in Londonistan:

What are those crazy Londonistan bobbies doing to that Panjandrum guy?

'pelipsky

"Panjandrum guy" ― what a knee-slapper, Jacko! _ (+ finishing touch: Panjandrum Boy, hah?)

[color=#999999]([url=https://thepeoplescube.com/peoples-blog/nonstop-breaking-news-from-and-around-unfccc-cop25-t21058.html#228771][color=#999999]above[/color][/url])[/color] wrote:... The circus-2019 aka COP25 will have .. ca. 25.000 directly involved clowns ...

Busy with beet quotas, I obviously got behind the curve.

The Circus Of Participants 25 (COP25) reports, that the clowncount is now "delegates from nearly 200 countries and 29,000 visitors". Kfality Shurnalizm peddles those numbers as well.

Additionally:

... The 2019 United Nations Climate Change Conference, "COP25," began with a cryptic address by [Fatso] Guterres: "By the end of the coming decade we will be on one of two paths, one of which is sleepwalking past the point of no return ... Do we want to be remembered as the generation that buried its head in the sand and fiddled as the planet burned?" ...

In short: Panjandrum Boy was right korrekt! _EGSTYNTSHUN NIGH !

GD...'pelipsky keeps hearing about a lot of fiddlin' goin' on ...but it don't have nuttin' to do with no violin. 'pelipsky heard sumptin' about cockroaches jumpin' on Creepy Joe's lap..sounds a little too fiddly to 'pelipsky.

Plus, all comrades know that when the whole Climintern passes away, only cockroaches will survive.

Surely, there is a connection that needs investigation before election.

Genosse Dummkopf wrote: Additionally:

... The 2019 United Nations Climate Change Conference, "COP25," began with a cryptic address by [Fatso] Guterres: "By the end of the coming decade we will be on one of two paths, one of which is sleepwalking past the point of no return ... Do we want to be remembered as the generation that buried its head in the sand and fiddled as the planet burned?" ...

There is indeed an art to fiddling while one's head is buried in the sand.

RedDiaperette wrote:

Genosse Dummkopf wrote: Additionally:

... The 2019 United Nations Climate Change Conference, "COP25," began with a cryptic address by [Fatso] Guterres: "By the end of the coming decade we will be on one of two paths, one of which is sleepwalking past the point of no return ... Do we want to be remembered as the generation that buried its head in the sand and fiddled as the planet burned?" ...

There is indeed an art to fiddling while one's head is buried in the sand.

Outstandingly sinuous remark, Komradette.

Me thinks, Fatso Guterres just forgot to specify: "... and fiddled, four-pawed, as the planet ..." .
Oh wait, my bad...


(OTOH, surely ma'am Peloski is capable of such hyper-Paganinismo, as most recently manifested.
I'm sure she masters that art of fiddling even while burrying her head where the sun don't shine.)

.

• Madrid's GEM, the Grand Egstyntshun March, had half a million marchers, report its commorgs. Spanish police says it was more than 11 trillion (yes: 11.101.010.011.000) marching heads.
  "Yep," police's talking heads added, "11101010011000, binary, which is 15.000 decimal."
  
• A not yet known manuscript of Vladimir Ilyich Lenin has been discovered in the town Shushenskoye (Shushensky Raion of Krasnoyarsk Krai, Siberia).
  It is a sketch of the (cit.) "necessity of a planetary global Komintern revolution" to (cit.) "save the endangered climate and natural environment, both mercilessly tormented by the heteropatriarchal supremacy of White Man's KKKapitalizm." A copy of this priceless holograph, complete with careful translations in all UN plus all 24 EUSSR languages, has been submitted TODAY to (personally!) Fatso Guterres and the Zyentralnyi Komityet of COP25 in Madrid.
  The press release about the sensational fund and its (now) planet-wide availability has been provided by Ef-Es-Be Spyetsnazkom pa Aktivnym Myeropriyatiyam, i.e. the renowned Lubyanka Special Research Institute.

COP25 Madrid:

Greta on the shelf Christmas gift. Her eyes seem to always follow you.



The best selling Christmas gift only from the COP25 gift shop. [Actually the Babylon Bee.]

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• Depending solely on sale of karbon-indulgences is not enough to achieve Humanity's full redemption from its klimatecolopoisoniferous crimes against the Planet. To be successful, the operation must be widened by demanding Repentative Klimate Justice Credentials and Paxvobiscum Klimate Equality Certifications as well!
  
• Full Klimate Revolution in sight! COP25 bodies will confabulate towards establishing Scientific Measurement Devices, Procedures and Best Practices for exact quantification of the hitherto barely graspable fatamorganas known as Klimate Justice and Klimate Equality
  
• Following Justice and Equality, ever more Klimate fatamorganas pop up in COP25 backroom circles. Currently, striving to become front runners are e.g. :
  Klimate Interoperableism, Klimate Blockchainousness, Klimate Hedgefondability
  
• Vegans at COP25 binarily split, hostilely:
  Our movement, is it Klimatoveganism or Veganoklimatism ?

I'm thinking of starting my first NON-profit company. It will be dedicated to all the plants of the world and to their food, the life giving wonder of CO2 and it's production and increase. I want to set up facilities throughout the world that do nothing but provide the atmosphere with more.

Do you know that the reason agriculture came about around the world at the same exact time in humanity's history is because of the fortunate confluence of events that raised the atmospheric CO2 levels high enough to support it?

We are living in a golden age. CO2 is good.

My non-profit will speak for all plant life everywhere it is to be found and give it voice. My non-profit speaks for the lowly plant; we cannot allow this poor forgotten victim to be taken for granted any longer. And we won't. We refuse and resist the hate!

Friends of Carbon Dioxide is dedicated to the plants of the world, the increase of CO2, and...

...driving you crazy commies absolutely insane!

Please, give generously. Your donations will go to more CO2.

.

• Thus spake St. Greta: Still, residual HOPE. But, Humanity, species are dying, our planet near boiling, you MUST revolutionarily CHANGE - NOW! (or Gaia will teach you the ins and outs...)
  
• The planet needs a new economy, leading UN progthinkers say. No usage of any "resources" (b/c depletion!). No whatsoever "production" (b/c pollution!). But jocund kollektive activity, which must be inclusive and open and equal. All that coordinated by GPS, Greta's Prophetic Sermons.
  
• Komrade $.$. Halliburton promptly added to the rapidly growing global planetary list of all those destined for a nice show trial (plus the resulting CO2-free bullet donation), once UN Progthink becomes the planetary regime.

$.$. Halliburton wrote:I'm thinking of starting my first NON-profit company. It will be dedicated to all the plants of the world and to their food, the life giving wonder of CO2 and it's production and increase. I want to set up facilities throughout the world that do nothing but provide the atmosphere with more.

Komrade, I have a non-profit that does all this and more. It's called The Human Fund. Our motto is "Money for People", because that's what we do - we give money to people to accomplish things in the world. During this holiday season, won't you donate and support me in this worthy cause?

.



[OFF]
Freshly baked, from (among many, Soros has a finger in that pie→) Project Syndicate :

... After all, the climate crisis is not just about the environment. It is a crisis of human rights, of justice, and of political will. Colonial, racist, and patriarchal systems of oppression have created and fueled it. We need to dismantle them all. Our political leaders can no longer shirk their responsibilities. ... (is this just revolooshunery megalomania and delusion of eco-grandeur of three uppity snotty brats (or whoever really wrote that bombast), or is it already madness?)

... Collective action works; we have proved that. But to change everything, we need everyone. Each and every one of us must participate in the climate resistance movement. ...

After intrepidly reporting from COP25, Komsoklim - our squad of Komrades Specifically Ogling Klimkatastrophia25 - finally returned back to the Transatlantic Kubicle #314 (at the foot of the Alps).

Yes, it took days... Jolted by dark prophecies of St. Greta, Komsoklim resolved to ride back home on an e-scooter. So, one Komrade rode the thingy (alternately, of course), and the rest of Komsoklim trotted along while generating e-energy for the scooter, via elastic μ-turbines integrated into the soles of their e-sneakers.

Yes, as comrade Barackovich prophesized: The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. And Komsoklim faced this challenge with profound humility, and knowledge of its own limitations...
Yet, after a week plus plus, here we are - Kubicle #314 once again reporting:

While progloklimatists of 197 countries predictably extended COP25 by the standard ritual add-on nights, trying to shift monstrous heaps of $$$ hither and thither unify Humanity in reverence for our Planetarily Unicornified Klimate and total rejection of sinister imperialistic carbon, this here :

TPC's Komsoklim was granted an exclusive opportunity to capture a historically unprecedented portrait of the two and only planetary uberklimatists who stand between carbonally sinful Humanity and Gaia's justly wrath. Verily, this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal, due to COP25 and St. Greta! :