The People's Cube - Political Satire

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Glorious news, comrades:

The Korrektification of the gaming industry is almost complete. The final plan is going to be presented at the upcoming Electronic Entertainment Expo.

None other than Bernie Sanders, the youthful Democrat icon, will become head of the "Progressive Gaming and Online Entertainment Redistribution and Reparations Bureau" (PGOERRB). Our comrades at CNN sent us the transcript of their interview:

* * *

BERNIE SANDERS: "It came to my attention that many players in these massive multiplayer games amass a lot of wealth, in the form of magical power or gold coins. They even compete with each other to become wealthier and buy more things. And that's wrong!"

CNN: Tell us why, o exаlted one!

BERNIE SANDERS: "Because competition is wrong. They should cooperate towards a common goal of social justice! And they should not waste their time on silly stuff like killing dragons and other luxuries. So, for example, in multiplayer fantasy games like World of Warcraft, instead of fighting monsters and going on adventures the players will now get designated, PGOERRB-approved tasks like handing out pamphlets on sexism in gaming or tilling the beet fields of their Magical Plane of Existence. But there is more!"

CNN: "Enlighten us with your wisdom, o chosen one!"

BERNIE SANDERS: "All magical power and gold coins accumulated up until now will be redistributed by our friendly bureaucrats. Much of it will be spent as reparations payments to all the players who failed to be winners because of the inherent sexism and racism in games. To each according to xir needs, of course. Allso, players who used their gold coins to buy swords and bows will be asked to upload them on the PGOERRB website. But we assure you that you will get them back after our background checks."

CNN: "Let me lick your feet, o wise one!"

* * *

We asked Joshua, an 18-year-old gaming addict, to give his comments.

Joshua: "That's lame man, taking my magical sword and all. I had to kill a thousand goblins to pay for it. Those politicians have no business taking away all that."

CNN: And who will you be voting for in the next elections?

Joshua: "For Bernie Sanders of course! Because he's gonna take all the stuff from the rich and give it to me!"

* * *

As you see, all is well! Thanks for comrade Whittle for giving me the idea.

Minitrue

I'm glad the People's Cube has been on the forefront of this issue, as follows from our definition of Competition in our People's Glossary.

Competition

Barbaric, insensitive ritual steeped in social Darwinism. We cannot allow the fittest to survive in our society. Your loss is someone else's gain, and your gain is someone else's loss. Therefore, losers contribute to the society and winners take away from it. Being a winner is unethical, while a society of losers is happy, moral, and prosperous as a collective. A progressive society of the future, steeped in diversity, inclusiveness, and collectivism, shall have no winners. Everyone will be a loser, which in our book means ethical team player.

Red Square wrote:I'm glad the People's Cube has been on the forefront of this issue, as follows from our definition of Competition in our People's Glossary.

Looks like the definition of Evil needs to be changed.

Comrade Otis wrote:Looks like the definition of Evil needs to be changed.

Changed! Much still needs to be revised to match the current truth. About 1/2 of it can be accomplished by automatically replacing "George Bush" with "Donald Trump."

Minitrue wrote: BERNIE SANDERS: "All magical power and gold coins accumulated up until now will be redistributed by our friendly bureaucrats. Much of it will be spent as reparations payments to all the players who failed to be winners because of the inherent sexism and racism in games. To each according to xir needs, of course.

Giving the gold to losers is an admirable and moral goal. But I would also expect the gold to be redistributed to those who didn't play at all, or were unwilling to play. That's the AOC formula of success, and that's the current truth.

Minitrue wrote:"Also, players who used their gold coins to buy swords and bows will be asked to upload them on the PGOERRB website. But we assure you that you will get them back after our background checks."

Minitrue

Online korektification is glorious, the virtual weapons buy back program.

Red Square wrote:

Minitrue wrote: BERNIE SANDERS: "All magical power and gold coins accumulated up until now will be redistributed by our friendly bureaucrats. Much of it will be spent as reparations payments to all the players who failed to be winners because of the inherent sexism and racism in games. To each according to xir needs, of course.

Giving the gold to losers is an admirable and moral goal. But I would also expect the gold to be redistributed to those who didn't play at all, or were unwilling to play. That's the AOC formula of success, and that's the current truth.

Surely PGOERRB has* the power known as "It depends upon what the meaning of the word 'is player' is."

With that shiny dialectic sword on hand, PGOERRB is certainly entitled to declare xzem who don't/didn't play at all, or are/were unwilling to play as players of the non-play game, and thence also perfectly eligible for reparative rewards, redistributive favors etc.


*
Q: 'has'? Already? Shouldn't it, as of today, read 'will have'?
A: Mayhap. But remember: Surely PGOERRB has the power of "It depends upon what a meaning the word 'has' has."


P.S. Extra equal as-salamu alaykum, Komrade Brother Al-Minitru al-Belgiki, and PBUD!