3/11/2020, 4:14 pm
Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders, who is threatening to defeat Joe Biden in the 2020 Democratic primary, has been offered an exorbitant advance in a book deal that puts to shame the meager $575,000 vacation home he had bought after conceding to Hillary Clinton in 2016, sources say.
Tentatively titled Das Krapital, the book is going to be a compilation of inspiring speeches that candidate Sanders had delivered in 2016 when he ran against Clinton, and then in 2020 while running against Biden.
Senator Sanders's speeches have been, in turn, inspired by quotes from the classics of Marxism-Leninism that had shaped the 78-year-old socialist's life and career. Hundreds of his favorite quotes will be included and the publisher said Bernie Sanders will use these to educate the masses on how to grind the bourgeoisie between the millstones of taxation and inflation, how to entice the capitalists to sell the rope on which they will be hung, and why we need a socialist revolution that would outlaw private property.
But most importantly, the book's main message will teach about the importance of never quitting while pursuing an idealistic goal, and never compromising with the class enemy.
"I'm sick and tired of hearing that this book deal and the summer house are some sort of bribes for me to stand down and endorse weaker establishment candidates," Sanders told reporters. "The truth is, these are pure coincidences. Think about it: I wouldn't have been able to enjoy my waterfront dacha if I hadn't quit and endorsed Hillary in 2016, would I? The same way, if I don't quit now and endorse Joe Biden, I won't be able to fulfill my obligation on a very generous book advance, will I?"
"Believe me, this book will be my fair contribution to the people's struggle for the progressive world of next Tuesday and a classless, selfless society without money nor greed, where all books will be free and no one will be allowed to own three houses, let alone a beachfront vacation home, when others have no home at all," Sanders added.
"But in order to bring about that glorious future I must live in three houses, fly private jets, receive multimillion dollar contracts from publishers, and concede my presidential campaigns so I can focus on such a critically important task," Mr. Sanders said.
And while all former attempts to build a pure socialist society failed because their leaders had always succumbed to greed and corruption, this time it will be different.
