The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades,

The future is within sight! I went to collect my ration of beets at the local store last night. The produce department was positively Venezuela!



Like Pyongyang!

Comrades, we can see the future! The Socialist team of Bernie and AOC will bring the USSA into the modern day! We're on the way to Next Tuesday ™

Most definitely, GWONT is here as means of production and distribution are pencil-necked into the the ever dwindling funnel of utopia that was Pyongyang back in the 60's.

Pencil Neckin' insertion in the supply chain provides good high payin' gub'r'mint jobs to earn money to buy stuff that ain't 'vailable no mores...but as Comrade Bernie teaches and models...you can buy 3 big-assed mansions and fly private jets on a Pencil Neckin' salary.

uuumm, Great Ambassador to Texazistan and keeper of the mythological key to TPC's Party Bunker...are you absolutely fer damn sure it doesn't exist?

axin fer a friend...and fer a couple of shots of Tractor Barn #2's Homebrewed Beet Vodka...'pelipsky might tell you who...but then again, maybe not.

forelock tug from your mythical horned rodent Honor Guard from The People's Pecan Orchard #6,
'pelipsky

Most glorious Komrade! It most certainly is the wave of the future! AOC should be proud, whe should come down from the Politburo and see what her glorious presence has done for the future and livelihood of our people! Better yet, she should also buy like we do, so that she may share in the merriment and mirth.

What's next, mandatory holidays to North Dakota or Alaska by boxcar? One can only dream...

[OFF]

My butter selection looked like your butter selection. Thank God I went to Aldi and bought a few pounds last week. Here in PA, the government sets mandatory minimum milk prices, so we've never been out of that. People can't just buy up 5 $1.00 gallons of milk and freeze 4. The last time I saw a gallon of milk under 4 dollars here was when I was 12.

Tried to buy some beets to make some borscht (not in karakter, just like borscht, I think it's good, solid eating), all out of them. Tried to get some fresh potatoes to put in the borscht, all out of those too! Wound up buying 6 cans of beets, which is the only canned anything you can easily get now, unless a bowl of nacho cheese with a spoon sounds like a good meal to you. At least there are some limes to make your gin and tonic with, both at my groceries and at yours.

Pretty damn funny that the only cartons in the dairy case are almond juice and that coca-cola chocolate milk. Even in times of crisis, people don't want to drink that nasty swill.

EDIT: The next time I go to my groceries, I'm gonna have to snap a few photos and put them up too.

jackalopelipsky wrote:...Great Ambassador to Texazistan and keeper of the mythological key to TPC's Party Bunker...are you absolutely fer damn sure it doesn't exist?

axin fer a friend...and fer a couple of shots of Tractor Barn #2's Homebrewed Beet Vodka...'pelipsky might tell you who...but then again, ...
'pelipsky

Remember that "gentleman's club" where I've never been, (and ain't going back)...there is no bunker. And your friend needs to mind his/her/xir own beets.

Like in the helicopter, if you push the red button, bad stuff happens somewhere, everytime. Don't touch the red button.

Public service announcement; Tractor Barn #2 remains open nightly for political lectures and singing of the marching songs, after the shovels are washed, inventoried, and stored. We ask that patrons wash their own hands, and wipe their noses on their own sleeves. Anyone showing signs of illness or vomiting behind the distilling pesticide tanks are asked to stay away for the time being. Light snacks and fermented beverages will continue to be served and guests are always welcome. Spasebo.

Easy to promise giving away free shit when there is nothing to give away..... Most Brilliant!

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:

jackalopelipsky wrote:...Great Ambassador to Texazistan and keeper of the mythological key to TPC's Party Bunker...are you absolutely fer damn sure it doesn't exist?

axin fer a friend...and fer a couple of shots of Tractor Barn #2's Homebrewed Beet Vodka...'pelipsky might tell you who...but then again, ...
'pelipsky

Remember that "gentleman's club" where I've never been, (and ain't going back)...there is no bunker. And your friend needs to mind his/her/xir own beets.

Like in the helicopter, if you push the red button, bad stuff happens somewhere, everytime. Don't touch the red button.

Public service announcement; Tractor Barn #2 remains open nightly for political lectures and singing of the marching songs, after the shovels are washed, inventoried, and stored. We ask that patrons wash their own hands, and wipe their noses on their own sleeves. Anyone showing signs of illness or vomiting behind the distilling pesticide tanks are asked to stay away for the time being. Light snacks and fermented beverages will continue to be served and guests are always welcome. Spasebo.

'pelipsky's stirrin' up some beet ettoufee right now as an equal contribution for light snacks and will also bring last of beet vodka ration card...please send coded directions to Tractor Barn #2 that a mythical horned rodent can interpret.

'pelipsky will listen at length to your Ambassadorship's political lectures as well as provide re-educated Karaokes for the singin' and marchin' portions of the night's entertainment.

Maybe Groucho Marxist, the Mass Karaoke Hooligan could get coded directions, too. He's within search and rescue mission creep.

over and out,
Jackalopelipsky
Russian Agent
#BR-549
with love, xxx