The People's Cube - Political Satire

Breaking news comrades,

A clash is coming between the despicable "free" West (or what remains of it) and our beloved benevolent Chinese future overlords. In response, NATO is preparing for conventional and non-conventional military actions to defend its territorial integrity.

To defend against the Chinese carrier threat, the French government has ordered a new state-of-the-art nuclear carrier, to be built in Guangzhou (China) and delivered somewhere in the coming months. The UK is ramping up it's cyber-countermeasure capacities by working closely with a Shanghai-based encryption agency. Prime minister Boris Johnson is optimistic:

"Once the Chinese have installed their new 5G technology in our country, we will be able to counter all Chinese digital espionage and aggression!"

Germany has found out that its new refugee citizens are not keen on fighting for their new home country so it has signed a contract with a reputable mercenary agency from Shenzhen (China). Once hostilities break out between China and NATO, so the contract stipulates, three divisions of trained soldiers will be delivered on European soil. They will be deployed together with the attacking forces - hence saving a lot of transportation costs. The Germans are very proud of this cost-saving measure: truly a new global way of thinking about conflicts! The contract is also bomb-proof: in case of non-delivery of goods, there will be prioritised arbitration by the court system of Beijing (China).

The RGEA (Religiously Globalist Economics Association), of which all Ivy-League economists are mandatory members, have already applauded these new evolutions with a press release:

"By outsourcing abroad and hence profiting from the effects of comparative advantage, NATO will be able to consume much more war at a much lower cost than would have been possible without unrestrained globalism. In other words: Chinese production is vital to make war cheap. Surely, this is beneficial for our citizens?"

What could go wrong, comrades?



From the Economical Unit in the EU politbureau,
Comrade Minitrue

Yes, and comrades the good news is that here in the People's Republic of New Jersey, once again we once again recieved the glorious benevolence of a Chinese company that has donated drones to help out with the best practices of social distancing. Yet, even now with the glorious manifestations of technology, there is another wonderful progressive suggestion being considered, to place microchips in all to help monitor their condition...Presumably, those chips like the drones would come from those wonderful people who helped us to become aware that the virus that was secretly created in secret US Army lab and then infected workers in the wet markets. However, I am quite sure that all that free data gathered from those drones would result in helping them to perfect the glorious Chinese facial recognition systems, entire surveillance data, as just a better way for all of those wonderful people to get to know us better. They send us the virus, and we send them our data......

trashmouth wrote:Yes, and comrades the good news is that here in the People's Republic of New Jersey, once again we once again recieved the glorious benevolence of a Chinese company that has donated drones to help out with the best practices of social distancing. Yet, even now with the glorious manifestations of technology, there is another wonderful progressive suggestion being considered, to place microchips to all to help monitor their condition...Presumably, those chips like the drones would come from those wonderful people who helped us to become aware that the virus that was secretly created in secret US Army lab and then infected workers in the wet markets. However, I am quite sure that all that free data gathered from those drones would result in helping them to perfect the glorious Chinese facial recognition systems, entire surveillance data, as just a better way for all of those wonderful people to get to know us better. They send us the virus, and we send them our data......

And then they use the data to send us more virus, and we send more data and they send more virus, and so on and so forth. Ah, as our erstwhile Dear Leader once said, everyone benefits when we spread the wealth around.

RedDiaperette wrote:

trashmouth wrote:Yes, and comrades the good news is that here in the People's Republic of New Jersey, once again we once again recieved the glorious benevolence of a Chinese company that has donated drones to help out with the best practices of social distancing. Yet, even now with the glorious manifestations of technology, there is another wonderful progressive suggestion being considered, to place microchips to all to help monitor their condition...Presumably, those chips like the drones would come from those wonderful people who helped us to become aware that the virus that was secretly created in secret US Army lab and then infected workers in the wet markets. However, I am quite sure that all that free data gathered from those drones would result in helping them to perfect the glorious Chinese facial recognition systems, entire surveillance data, as just a better way for all of those wonderful people to get to know us better. They send us the virus, and we send them our data......

And then they use the data to send us more virus, and we send more data and they send more virus, and so on and so forth. Ah, as our erstwhile Dear Leader once said, everyone benefits when we spread the wealth around.

But this wealth spread system really breaks some New Ground™, when a ChiCom virus corrupts the data the West creates.

Like wasn't WHO CoVid Data Charts, ChiCom virus corrupted data?

NATO members seem to be missing the point of national welfare, so virus corrupted is their data exchange program.

jus sayin...for somebody else.

'pelipsky

I'm fairly certain both Machiavelli and Clausewitz had something to say on this subject.

Red Salmon

Red Salmon wrote:I'm fairly certain both Machiavelli and Clausewitz had something to say on this subject.

Red Salmon

And Sun Tzu, another wonderful Chinese export.

Most Equally Esteemed Komrad RedDiaperette,

Thank you for adding Sun Tzu. There is just so much room in my fishy brain. Sometimes I leave out very important details. Sun Tzu did include this very issue in the Strategic Military Power and Employing Spies chapters of his epic work.

Awed by the Equality in the Current Truth ™,

Red Salmon

Some of the troops were wondering...So if NATO Joe expends the basic load of Chinese ammo, does he/she/xi feel like they need to start shooting again 30 minutes after they finished? And does Chinese ammo have a higher MSG content than Continental manufacture recipes? Got to watch those gender nonspecific figures...

Just asking. For the troops. And the Children ™

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Some of the troops were wondering...So if NATO Joe expends the basic load of Chinese ammo, does he/she/xi feel like they need to start shooting again 30 minutes after they finished? And does Chinese ammo have a higher MSG content than Continental manufacture recipes? Got to watch those gender nonspecific figures...

Just asking. For the troops. And the Children ™

Rumour around my local Traktor barn is that if you get shot by them, the wound heals and you come back to life 30 minutes later. And as soon as you wake up, you burp and it tastes vaguely savoury. I don't know what that means, all I know is how to be a good prole, lumpenprole since the Glorious Shutdown!