The People's Cube - Political Satire

A number of top national celebrities have taken time off from their important jobs of calling Trump Voters "Nazi!" to show their solidarity with the little people.

Patton Oswalt, Steve Carrell, Don Cheadle, and Seth Rogan lead a growing list of our betters who are donating their hard-earned money to bail out the peaceful AntiFa protesters wrongfully arrested by the police for simply minding their own business while setting fire to the store they just looted in their righteous quest for justice and peace.

"We have to stand by these wonderful social justice warriors," said Oswalt, an international sex-symbol. "The good work done by these community organizers will bring about true social change." He pointed out that the businesses that had been destroyed had a history of exploiting both their customers and their employees. "It is only natural to appropriate the fruits of Capitalist wage slavery," he explained. "Many of these so-called businesses were run on a profit basis, and that's just wrong."

"To each according to his needs, and to how much he can carry while running away," agreed Cheadle, the James Bond of social justice. "These brave freedom fighters spoke truth to power when they jetted off with a 60-inch plasma TV."

Rogan and Carrell pointed out that most of the damage was done in "parts of town that are not very nice to visit," in the first place. "It's not like they were tearing up someplace anybody would want to live."

Our selfless betters have once again shown the way. Please, if you have any money you can donate, do not waste it on helping the small businesses rebuild their stores or restock their inventory. Put that money to better use, and help out with the legal expenses of the real victims here, the tireless AntiFa champions.

It's what the stars are doing.

I've got one question: where do I send my money? We know that keeping your money is violence and giving it to protesters who have no choice but to appropriate property from greedy owners is love. I know which side I'm on. And speaking of listening to our betters:

Why, this topic is nothing but clickbait, Betinov! Here I thought I was going to see and read about celebrities! Stars! I saw a chance to welcome a bit of badly needed glitz and glitter and gloss into my lugubrious lockdown of a life. Instead this is nothing but a bunch of nobodies thinking they can be somebodies by throwing money--and not government money, either, but THEIR OWN MONEY!!!--at the downtrodden and oppressed. WTF?!? That's no way to show how much they care!

Where are the awareness ribbons? The "Antifa Strong" wristbands? The masks that proclaim to all the world how much more they care than people who don't wear masks? Why don't they all get together to record a song singing about how much they care? People will buy the record or download it or whatever they're doing these days, thereby raising money for the cause without the would-be celebrities having to part with a dime or anything else save for a few minutes in a recording studio or even Joe Biden's basement.

Then they need to stage an awards show where they give out awards to themselves, and then they use their acceptance speeches to bash Trump and demand more government funding.

That's what REAL STARS do. That's the sort of thing that makes a difference--the difference between caring and not caring. It's just that simple.

In conclusion, comrades, don't forget that in these times of misery and mayhem...

We're In This Together!™

What Pinkie said. ^^^^

WTF? And besides, Don Cheadle didn't earn that money, he stole it from Terry Benedict. All comrades know this.

Where is Obama on this? Cheadle didn't earn that...he didn't even m.a.k.e. that script and movie production either.

'pelipsky is stiffin' the "Star" rating with Rotten Tomatoes on this no star story. Let's get down for some serious Basher to Stone Age Carnage and Mayhem.

Say what you will, it is truly inspiring to see anyone -- anyone, I say, even hitherto unknown STARS -- releasing these innocent Antifa victims from the jails and prisons where they might come in contact with the (shudder) Wuhan Chinese European virus. Indeed, even vicious malefactors (formerly known as victims of the Amerikkkan oppressive injustice system) have been released for fear of virus, so why not these heroes of the revolution the cry for peace and justice?