The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades, I have grave news.

The undetermined candidate to replace RBG in the Supreme Court, the one whose name Trump will presumably announce next Saturday, will be a lying, dog-faced pony soldier psycho.

According to various anonymous sources (who also do not yet know who the candidate will be), he or she (or xiz) molested and killed a number of women at a party about 10 to 50 years ago. Sadly, the anonymous sources have completely forgotten where or when this happened - or even what exactly happened - but they can't forget his/her/its face and we have to believe them because they are victims.

The Democrat Party has already started an impeachment procedure against this yet unannounced scoundrel. In the words of Nancy Pelosi: "We cannot allow this criminal - whoever it may turn out to be - in any position of power."

When informed that it is impossible to start legal proceedings against a vacant seat, Speaker Pelosi described it as "yet another proof that the system is rigged against all victims of abuse."

Therefore, no matter whom Trump nominates Saturday afternoon, it's going to be a good-for-nothing lowlife scallywag. We will all literally die if he/she/it gets the position. So now is the time to save the world by burning it down!

Comrade Minitrue,
Comrade of Probabilistik Krimes Kalkulation

Additional anonysourcing whispers supplementally that:

• The abovesaid scenario and tactic of the confirmimpeachment of ??? was, of course, cut and dried long before RBG's final (karbokorona filled) gasp.
  
• Not only ???, the molester, is scenario-wise modelled as he/she/xiz, no. Also the molestee is a xiz/she/he, thereby introducing a whole new dimension of flexibility in pelosiing ???. Here a peek behind the tactic curtain: ??? (of whatever gender) molests it, a highly fluid person. Whether the initial molestation was some nice (and of course fully acceptable) flirtation of two male-ish homosexuals or the like, suddenly: the fluid molestee paddles into another gender, thereby abruptly turning ???'s innocent advances into an abysmal, stinking to high heaven scandal. Ja, ze probability of a krime happening here, obviously propelled by ??? and measured at 120%, rises to the level of total assuredness! Even if ??? is a peopleofcolored trans-proglo neomarxist, no way. SCOTUS bye-bye. Catch-22!

Statement issued by PETA regarding SCOTUS nomination of ???:

Photographic evidence that ??? is a serial molester of pussies.



It's obvious that this pussy is disturbed by this continuous molestation. Notice how it turns its face away in shame and embarrassment. This poor pussy obviously is going to have to live with this violation of its private space for the rest of its life. Tragedies like this occur all over the country every day and we can't have a Justice on the Court who is a serial perpetrator and promoter of such a vile practice. Pussy trafficking and molestation is a business that effects millions of innocent victims every year. The victims must have a voice!

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:... [???] is a serial perpetrator and promoter ...

Didn't you mean "pederator and pervorter"? That pussylanimalously amoral skunk.

That lying, pony-faced dog soldier!

All Victims™ must be believed! #believeallvictims, #metoo, #youtoo, #themtoo, #xitoo, #xe-xer-xemtoo, #xerxestoo, #i'mavictimanddemandlotsofsympathytoo

OTOH, Biden doesn't need to release his list of Supreme Court picks before the election. Quite aside from the fact that we have to vote for him to find out who they are, it goes without saying that they are all totally awesome and wonderful and we are going to fall in love with them instantly, so what does it matter? Oh, I can't wait to see the full color spreads about them in People and Us magazines! I can't wait for the trading cards! The commemorative plates from the Franklin Mint and Bradford Exchange! And the dolls, especially the dolls!

Oh, I am so excited I could just slip and fall in a puddle of my own slobber!

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Biden doesn't need to release his list of Supreme Court picks before the election.

Quite so, Comm. Pinkie. What's more, once his picks are released, they will be fully re-educated and compliant with The Party's™ wishes. We should expect nothing less.



Urooj Rahman and Colinford Mattis, both lawyers, are facing federal charges for allegedly throwing a Molotov cocktail into an empty police car.

Oh, brother.

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:... allegedly throwing a Molotov cocktail into an empty police car.

Sheesh... big deal..... The car was empty, wasn't it?

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:... allegedly throwing a Molotov cocktail into an empty police car.

Sheesh... big deal..... The car was empty, wasn't it?

(gallops to DNC to cashier his bakshish)

Comrade GD, it matters not that the vessel was empty. What matters is that they are Qualified™ lawyers. The Party™ is always forward looking.

Forward!

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:... What matters is that they are Qualified™ lawyers ...

Forward!

If said Urooj Rahman is about to make her Doctor of Law on "Superiority of Sharia Law (PBUH) over Infidel Kuffaric Rules" (or similar), then OK.

And Dr. Dr. Colinford Mattis on Kenya papers? Excellent.

Given that both them are less than 43.5 years old, they should BOTH be seated on RBG's place (43.5 * 2 = 87).

Stakhanovianly reliable comrade Ramirez (Sep. 23, 2020):



(Ramirez)

Every Illegitimate™ appointment by the Illegitimate™ (not my)™ President Trump should be Impeached™!

One Impeachment™ show trial every day until every Illegitimate™ appointment he has made is confirmed to be Illegitimate™.

That should keep the Senate too busy to do anything else that the Illegitimate™ (not my)™ President orders them to do.

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:Every Illegitimate™ appointment by the Illegitimate™ (not my)™ President Trump should be Impeached™!

One Impeachment™ show trial every day until every Illegitimate™ appointment he has made is confirmed to be Illegitimate™.

That should keep the Senate too busy to do anything else that the Illegitimate™ (not my)™ President orders them to do.

It has been said (surely by counterrevolutionaries, no?) that all the impeachers themselves are illegitimate in the strict sense of the term, i.e., b*st*rds. Who, then, will impeach the impeachers?

I am reminded of the story we used to tell in the USSA People's Air Force of the bird that flies around and around in an ever-decreasing spiral until it flies up its own fundament.