The People's Cube - Political Satire

Experts at NASA have discovered a large object heading towards earth, made up completely of Joe Biden ballots. After calculating its mass, the scientists concluded that the meteorite contains approximately 19,000,000,000,000 galactic mail-in-ballots. An astronomical number, indeed.

When asked how they are so sure the ballots aren't cast for the incumbent, a NASA employee said that there is no evidence that pro-Trump mail-in-ballots even exist in the universe. Team Biden has already promised to grant citizenship to all extraterrestrial aliens, even if they are bent on destroying humanity and devouring mankind.

It will take about 400 years for the meteorite to strike earth. Pending the unavoidable arrival, Fox News has already called this election, as well as all other elections for all eternity, in favor of Biden and any other Democratic candidates running for office throughout the Galaxy.

Minitrue wrote:Experts at NASA have discovered a large object heading towards earth, made up completely of Joe Biden ballots. After calculating its mass, the scientists concluded that the meteorite contains approximately 19,000,000,000,000 galactic mail-in-ballots. An astronomical number, indeed.

When asked how they are so sure the ballots aren't cast for the incumbent, a NASA employee said that there is no evidence that pro-Trump mail-in-ballots even exist in the universe. Team Biden has already promised to grant citizenship to whoever has cast these ballots, even if it happens to be extra-terrestrial creatures bent on destroying humanity and devouring mankind.

It will take about 400 years for the meteorite to strike earth, so Fox news immediately called this election, as well as all other elections - for all eternity - in favour of whatever leftist is running (throughout the galaxy).

A nice touch, that "even if," as though the identity were not already planned known.

As Dear Leader, His O'liness Barack Hussein Obama (PBUH) realigned NASA to its proper role of educating the world on the achievements of Religion of Peace before white people appropriated those achievements in aerospace engineering, the "object" is Mooslimic, and therefore cannot be made fun of, or questioned. Any doubt of the existence, peaceful origin, or intent, or number of votes being presented will result in morality police on your doorstep because you are racist and Mooslim-o-phobic.

So there.

Democrat party know-how keeps on expanding the proven reserves of ballots.

In related news, the Biden Campaign team just bought 27 tons of paper and 3 tons of black ink, and is looking for volunteers to sign some... to come and help with "administrative work".

A Biden spokespersonxz said that they printed a lot of paper during the campaign, and that this is all part of a routine effort to replenish some office supplies.

Now move along. Nothing to see here, comrade.

They could at least have attempted to make it less obvious I guess.

There was no time. It's an old Democratic tradition - see how many the other side is getting, and then inject just a little bit more, so it doesn't look suspicious. They've always been doing it and this is the first time the other side is fighting back.

"The vote fairy." Thread worthy.

It's guy fawkes night in England by the way.

Remember, remember, the 5th of november,
the mail-in treason and plot,
I know of no reason,
why this mail-in treason,
should ever be forgot.

But think of all the gallant trees that gave their lives to produce all that paper. Some day they will be recognized for their sacrifice.

RedDiaperette wrote:But think of all the gallant trees that gave their lives to produce all that paper. Some day they will be recognized for their sacrifice.

Good news! I can sell you tree offsets for that. I highly recommend it. Just think of all the paper you use. My tree offset program will help the planet. And, you'll get a free bumpersticker.

Facebook has added a box with a link to election updates to this post, which ices this cake and puts a cherry on top.

I'm waiting for the Snopes fact check!

I mail in my ballots every morning at 5:00am People's Collective Time, on a regular day.

Comrade 9 wrote:I mail in my ballots every morning at 5:00am People's Collective Time, on a regular day.

I've been emailing my ballots five times a day before salah/namaz but I think only 4/5 of them have been certified and counted. That is offensive to my faith and to the whole of ummah.

We will not be silent. Silence is violence. And non-silence is also violence. Everything is violence. Except Islam which means peace.

I have been mailing not only my own ballots but my neighbors' ballots and my living and deceased relatives' ballots as well. Each ballot is carefully crafted with a hand-stamped 3 November postmark on the outside.

I am proud humbled to be such a diligent worker for the Party.

Does anyone else find it tedious and repetitive, the whole thing where you cross out Hillary Clinton (D) above where they crossed out Al Gore (D) and write in Joe Biden (D) ? There's not much space left, and I really have to print small...

Boxes and crates of these things, it's like they'll never run out!

I'm getting Carpal Tunnel, and I'm not sure my Obamacare will cover treatment, rehab, and my disability payments afterward.

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Does anyone else find it tedious and repetitive, the whole thing where you cross out Hillary Clinton (D) above where they crossed out Al Gore (D) and write in Joe Biden (D) ? There's not much space left, and I really have to print small...

Boxes and crates of these things, it's like they'll never run out!

I'm getting Carpal Tunnel, and I'm not sure my Obamacare will cover treatment, rehab, and my disability payments afterward.

Comrade, to quote Stalin, One man's ailment is a tragedy, the disability of millions is Obamacare.

Or as Comrade Clinton's husband said, I feel your pain. Now put some ice on it, and keep voting for The Party^TM.

Soon, next Tuesday, we will have new secret ballots and replace all candidates' names with one unifying checkbox for "THE PARTY'S CHOICE" and one divisive checkbox for "GULAG" followed by the voter's identification.

Comrade while I agree with the idea in principal, the party has already established that oppressing voters of color into getting a government identity number for anything other than cashing a check, buying a cerveza, getting on an airplane, and stuff,..is hateful, marginalizing, and racist. I'm not saying its wrong, but its not right it needs work.

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Comrade while I agree with the idea in principle, the party has already established that oppressing voters of color into getting a government identity number for anything other than cashing a check, buying a cerveza, getting on an airplane, and stuff,..is hateful, marginalizing, and racist. I'm not saying its wrong, but its not right it needs work.

Perhaps the request for ID might be changed to read "Official Government Identity Number or Your Preferred Pronouns." Indeed, there should be a space for preferred pronouns anyway.

I find all this election thingy very exhausting. What if we just pick the right ballot for each citizen, and if they do not agree, they can always go the the local party headquarters to formally complain in person? Sounds legitimate to me.

Yo!

Comrades,

You misunderstand the intent of the form.

It isn't to ID the voter, IF THE VOTE IS FOR THE PARTY^TM, but to facilitate the reeducation of the counter-revolutionaries that dare vote against The Party^TM.

Not that you are correct in your concerns, since I am The Commissar of Drive-bys, and I cannot recall bullets that have left the gun while speeding down the road, but I have found that my recently deceased staffer had uploaded the incorrect New Official Secret Ballot. Here is the what The Party^TM needs:


And once The Glorious Revolution Of Next Tuesday is here, we won't need real voters any more, so they might have to have to carry ID papers issued by The Party^TM at all times.

Democrat caught on a hot mic: Cheating in elections shows how much we love the country. Only we can save it from itself.

Biden/Harris for the Banana Republic of America!

Just break that pencil!

Now, the mythical hare-brained horned rodent knows what the BR in prison number, BR-549 actually represents.

Banana Republic!

forelocktug to Red Square
Jackalopelipsky
#BR 549

Red Square wrote:Just break that pencil!

Needs a jack-booted thug off to the side, or background, laughing at the voter.