The People's Cube - Political Satire

Students launch communist club at Columbia University

Glorious news, Comrades! Communism is no longer oppressive, it's FUN!

At Columbia University, our future leaders of tomorrow's Politbureau in the State of the District of Columbia are now gathering to redistribute ill-gotten gains from their parents and soon the world!

There is no current truth to the rumor that there is going to be a student discount at People's Store #86 as entitlements cannot be discounted. We still await demographics of membership to ensure the equal representation that "looks like Amerikka" in racial, gender, species, age, disability, and sexual preferences of members (while properly excluding white christian hetero-cis-males)

Communists at Columbia are not new.

In July 2020 on the “Columbia Confessions” Facebook page, one student noted: “I can't take columbia communists seriously (to anyone who says there are no communists on this campus has not met the large raving group of them). You literally chose to go to a university which is over 400% the price of most state schools for the prestige and prestige only.”

“…For people who claim to want to completely redistribute all wealth, you chose a place that exasperates the wealth disparity you want to destroy. … It's only cool to say you're a communist but when it comes to actual practice, there's legit no action.”

Communist Club Members Matter!

(remember, dues are collected on the first of every month; now accepting Mastercard, Visa, Bitcoin and beet ration cards)

From the squalid slums of capitalist misery some of the poor downtrodden working classes have enrolled in Columbia University. Their club will inspire the masses. They will set the world on fire with their brilliance. They will grow up to be the vanguard of the party. Workers of the world unite!

Amerikkan college students are a sorry bunch of downtrodden proles indeed. I heard there was a line at the rock climbing wall yesterday, and the campus Starbucks was all out of Chocolatte earlier this week.

Who will stand up for these poor, abused children!

Minitrue wrote:...
Who will stand up for these poor, abused children!

Communism is just an idea. How can an idea about equity and compassion harm anyone?

This is excellent point, Comrade Square! With beautiful example, as would certainly be expected.

Fully equal proles on right are MUCH more equal than *spit* disgusting proles on left.

(left and right positioning must be reversed before anyone notices)